A
male
age
30-35,
*imesbestfriend
writes:I'm 19 and I want to have anal sex with my girlfriend. We have done it before and she liked it but now she won't. It is my favorite by far and I really really like doing it. Like 1 or 2 times a month would be great but she just says I'm sorry. I always do all the work during sex and it just doesn't feel good and that does. What should I do???
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2008):
To start, let's preface with there are those who favor anal, and those who don't. I have had a mixture of both types in roughly six relationships, and I have to say the thing I respect the most is a girl who has TRIED it, and then told me whether she did or didn't like it. Beyond that, the couple simply must be honest with each other - and while she may not be lying to you, she also probably doesn't want to hurt your feelings.
As to those who find anal to be gay, and ridicule those who have tried, I would encourage you to respect the views of the posters and the poser of the question. Your input would be more valued and welcomed if you had participated in anal sex, and had any first-hand knowledge of the act. I have given and received (enjoyably) as a male, and yet feel no attraction to other men. I hope this helps the original poster in finding answers, and understanding.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2007): women do not like anal sex, if you want it go and find a man who loves it-your just gay, or your penis is soo small that u need a tight hole
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2007): My partner and I tried anal with me as the giver. My partner told me she did not enjoy it - and that was just a finger.About eight years later after a great session of me going down on her and me gently massaging her very wet anus (saliva and cunt juice) she was very excited from touching the anus alone.She then asked for my cock there (this was very much a first) and after the initial (very lubed up) penetration she came really hard and said she loved it. Indeed in that very first session she even spontaneously pushed a dildo in her pussy as well!She now comes from anal penetration alone and has chosen some anal toys for her own pleasure.So my advice is take it gently, be patient, respond to her needs and know two things. Done properly women can totally enjoy anal sex, even passionately so, and more importantly some will not enjoy it and you can only be patient.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2007): I have actually had alot of success at getting girls too try and enjoy anal and I am well endowed so I know this can work for everyone. First it takes alot of foreplay, like a tongue or a finger while giving oral to get closer to having her take that firststep if your with a girl who has never tried it. Don't force it let her do things herself, here are some very successful tips: while giving her oral do not try to force a finger in her, let her naturally rock your finger into her backside, make sure you have your fingered lubed with saliva, while in a missionary or even in a 69 position, etc. Do alot of oral and casually get her lubed up back there with your saliva. Just cup both her cheeks and grab them, but as she is rocking on you, leave the tip of a finger too let her explore whats it's like too have a finger in her back their, make sure you have given here oral all around that area or directly too it so she gets used to having some sort of sexual contact their, the saliva allows a very easy entrance, making her orgasm and getting very wet helps a great deal. Now when your woman wants to ride on top of you while facing each other do the same trick as she rocks back and forth on you, place a finger in the area as you cup her ass and do not say anything, if you pressure her it makes it a bigger issue then it is, let her explore herself and at her own place slowly accepting penetration in the area. Once she gets more comfortable with this always make sure to finger and give oral too both areas, so she gets use too thinking there is a sexual relation with that part of her body. Once you see she is comfotable with that, in the heat of passion you will know when the time is right, when she is on her period is an ideal time. Just do tons of fore play kissing up and down her body,lightly rubbing all over her body with your hands, start kissing from the neck down while she is on her stomach, laying face down. Slowly try to undress her. Slowly try to give her oral around that area, see if she is relaxed and start rocking her hips against you as your having oral sex. Do the finger trick as she rocks, if she starts rocking your finger in her, slowly kiss your way back up to her next and place your penis in that area and if she is ready she will rock you into her and have anal. Just use your tip at first and do not move FAST, just let her experience how it feels and have her go at her OWN PACE. Kiss her, hold her hands, get a girl very passionately and excited and I'm telling you, she will enjoy anal sex!! I've use this technique with many girls and I'm about 90 percent SUCCESSFUL. It just takes minute to get her too not be nervous and relaxed enough too have sex this way, Girls remember were scared to give up their virginity, it just takes time.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2007): Don't listen to everyone who says girls don't like anal sex.... cause thy're wrong. Girls can get satisfaction out of as well. I actually am a fan of it , but it took a little time. You need to work into it, not just ram it in there;) Try fingering her there... start with 1 then move to 2... slowly.. when she is ready make sure you use LOTS of lube... this will help you just slide in with out as much ....i dunno pressure or pain.. talk with her and TAKE IT SLOW.if she needs to move around or ajust her legs help her and make sure she is comfortable.... It skinda like having sex for the first time... Its dosen't feel good right away, but once you work into it it gets better...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2007): calm down, don't force her to do stuff she doesn't wanna do.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2007): I don't think your girl enjoys anal, or she would want to do it. You should try receiving anal sometime, it hurts! And then for days maybe weeks your little hole, that wasn't put there for that, has to heal. There is no difference between a male or female anus, you would be hard pressed to photo identify the difference, there is none, so try inserting something in there to feel that tearing sensation you think your girl is enjoying, maybe you could gain an understanding of why she doesn't want to do it, but remember, men actually can receive pleasure from anal sex because of their prostrate, women don't have one of those.
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A
female
reader, beautifultrustnlover +, writes (22 August 2007):
 talk to her about this if you want to know something ask her and try to mix things up try going down on her out of know where to get her going good luck
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A
male
reader, timesbestfriend +, writes (22 August 2007):
timesbestfriend is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI don't fourse her 2 do it at al and no I'm not gay and yes I do hav a problem...my parents did a lot of drugs so my feelings are differnt then urs...so don't try and makes me feel bad and don't make fun of me. And I only ask and I do everything she wants always. Lik it just wat feels good...but if she dosent lik it then ill just find something else...but idk its just difficult because she only likes 2 hav sex wen I'm doing all the work. And who ever the first perdon that wrote me is I think u should stop writing people because u never kno wat people r going thro and wats going on with them...cuz that was really messed up 2 say and very offencive...I can't help wat I lik and no its not gayat all...cuz I kno girls that truly lik it and I kno guys that lik 2 do it...
I was also wondering wat I could do that would turn my girl on more lik I can make her go crazy...but I want her 2 go insane with pleasure
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2007): Go find a gay lover. Women don't like anal sex for the most part. We don't have prostate glands like men do that are stimulated when getting anal sex. It to us just feels like we have to take a dump. If you don't like regular sex, I would assume that indicates a problem with you. You should want your partner to enjoy sex, not just do whatever you want her to do. My boyfriend wouldn't even have anal sex with me when I asked if he wanted to try it. He said no because he thinks it would hurt me. And you got to admit, it is kinda gay.
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A
female
reader, lovehate  +, writes (22 August 2007):
 She obviously, even though says she enjoyes it, doesn't. Some people don't enjoy anal sex. It depends on the person and what their body feels comfortable doing. She is probably worried about telling you that she does not enjoy it and does'nt want to let you down. Take it easy on her.
If normal sex doesn't give you pleasure maybe go to your doctor. It may be because you are not comfortable doing it or could even be the simplest reason, for example not being in a position that is comfortable for you. Tell her your reasons instead of making it look like all you want is anal sex because it turns you on more. Communicate with her.
Good Luck.
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A
male
reader, jm81690  +, writes (22 August 2007):
 Maybe she was lying about enjoying anal, lol, I can't see it being all too fun if you're on bottom.
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A
male
reader, quarky +, writes (22 August 2007):
 If you're a couple, you should only be doing things you both wanna do. If you keep asking her to do something she doesn't want to, you risk her putting up barriers and not wanting to have sex. Worse, you'll make her feel inadequate. yeah, anal can be good but it ain't the be all and end all. If that's all you want to do, you better get used to dissapointment. as a tip, a hand job with baby oil feels just as good, if not better, to me at least. don't try and force the subject- if you care for her, you shouldnt anyway
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