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female
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*elplisa1
writes: I'm a 19 year old woman who hates her body and most all all her breasts. I want a boob job but its ruining my relationships because of my low confidence and self-esteem pls help me makes sense of what i should do?i love my partner of three years and want to look good for him. We have been arguing alot because we lost a baby. I want a break to clear my head but he is convinced I've cheated but I haven't! - It doesn't feel right. pls help me?
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a break, breasts, confidence Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2006): hello have a heart matini she is only 19 years old you have to think to yourself you both lost a baby one of the most hardest things in life people can go through have you both talked about how you both feel about that since it happen or confided in each other? maybe that would help?
he is probably scared he doesnt know what he is saying talk to him why does he think youve cheated?
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (27 July 2006):
 Can I just point out that I thought Martini's advice thoroughly sound. Hotadvice needs to back off as she is being a little judgemental about his swearing, given the tone she takes with some of the other questions askers on here.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2006): Yes, I'll make it a habit to not swear next time. Sorry about that.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2006): Just a quick comment. I also find the swearing totally unecessary, Martini. I think the point can be made without it.
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female
reader, Hot (Advice) +, writes (28 June 2006):
 Hey Martini there is no need to swear!! That is a bit uneccessary. Anyway you really got your point across. I thought this site was supposed to be of help to people, to give UNBIASED advice. Sometimes you have to give a bit of input on what has happened to you on a personal level to empathise and understand. While I do agree that there are far more inportant things to worry about in the world. To someone who is 19...image is everything. For a girl it's hard when your hormones and emotions are all over the place as well, losing a baby is a horrible experience.
You need the support of your boyfriend and he's not giving you that. It sounds like he is not mature enough to handle you as a person, your confidence has been knocked further by his accusations of you having an affair...!! As IF you would in your positon..! I don't know how much you love your boyfriend, but I'd suggest you definately take a break from him and let him think what he wants to think. If he thinks you are having an affair then that's his problem.
You will be better off without him. He has not built up your confidence and certainly won't do if the reltionship continues the way it is.
Darlin, I hope when you have some space away from him you'll see things in a much clearer way. Really hope all works out for you, spend time with your friends and family. Treat yourself to new clothes, get your hair done etc. Wish I could be there for you, I'd give you support and really put some much needed confidence back into you!! Take care honey...xx
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female
reader, camille +, writes (28 June 2006):
 I can understand you want to look good for 'him', but that won't stop him doubting you. Forget about him for now, what about you? You're not in the best emotional state to make such a big decision. It won't make the problems go away, it may mask them, but you need to tackle those issues before you decide. You have been through a traumatic time. Also your self-steem is at an all time low. Please get some help and then decide why you don't like your appearance and what non-surgical things you can do to improve that self-image. You also need to be strong with your man, if he thinks you cheated, he has issues of his own to deal with. It may be that you are both dealing with the loss of your baby and he's pushing neagtive feeling on to you. Maybe you need to talk about this in depth because if not, right now may not the best time for you two to be together whilst having doubts and unresolved issues. You'lll just drag each other further down.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2006): So young and naive, almost makes me puke that these happen to people so young and inexperienced. (generalizing here)
Despite what some Aunts here may tell you - eg: you have to love yourself, your partner is an idiot, you're beautiful type of crap comments, I have to say, FIRST and FOREMOST, what is the source of your low-confidence? Hanging around that asshole is just simply bringing you down. I mean for fuck sakes, isn't that fucking obvious? Yes, note the swearing - why must I?
Anyway, you lost a baby, and that guy insists you cheated, that's probably HIS way of trying to get rid of you and going for other girls. Yeah, thanks for the support bastard!
Suggestion = YOU get out and start looking at life more openly, ditch that piece of shit for a human being, and try to get some backbone for yourself. I can tell you a lot of positive things, things that you and probably more than half of the world's population would want to hear, but I'm not. I'm simply saying you can either believe in things that are vaguely truthful or untruthful, or get out and go out there to find your stance in this world, and to recreate your mind, your body, and your spiritual core.
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