A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 18 and she is 14 turning 15 in less than two months she might be pregnant?Her mom has legal custody her dad doesn't,does that mean only her mom can determine whether to press charges,but her mom is okay with me and her daughter.Help me? what do i do?
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (26 April 2010):
 Okay, this question now has a lot of answers and attention. OP, if you would like to followup, please PM me and I will arrange that. Otherwise the question is now closed. Thanks.
A
female
reader, JessicaRobs +, writes (26 April 2010):
It's a statutory rape, which means the district attorney's office will be the one to decide whether or not to press charges in the long run, and consent means nothing. The parents can only bring it to the attention of the state. Also I saw that someone said something about three years. The statue of limitations on statutory rape varies on the state too. It can be 1 year or 3 years, for example, if it is considered misdemeanor or felony.
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A
female
reader, VictoriaK +, writes (23 April 2010):
 Okay, read through some of the answers and didn't see one that said you have a good chance of NOT going to jail. A friend of mine had her first child at the age of 13, her boyfriend was 19, and she had her second at 15 when her boyfriend was 21. He hasn't gone to jail. Be very careful though, as all states are different. Try looking up the state laws on the internet. Talk to her mother about it, and see what she says. Talk to your girlfriend and see what the best option would be. Keep us posted! Good Luck.
~ VictoriaK ~
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2010): Here is a thought for you. 14 is still a child. Think about yourself 4 years ago. Likely a freshman in high school, lots of experiences you have not experienced. Still very green, nieve, and eager to prove your independence. It is easy to understand why someone with almost a quarter more life experience can be seen as taking advantage of a child. No matter how concentual something may seem, there is a discrepancy that cannot be overcome by "maturity levels."There is a reason that 18 is the legal age for adulthood. Really, at 18 you're still very much a child. The older you get, the more you'll understand that. The next four years of your life are very likely to bring about great changes. Especially if you do indeed have a baby.Please prepare yourself for the chance that you will be a sex offender, and have to register as such for the rest of your life. It is a likely outcome for someone in your situation.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2010): [Mod note: This question generated a great deal of angry posts. If you cannot provide advice that is mature and helpful, please do not expect to see it published.]My dad was a probation officer for over 20 years. His primary case load was sex offenders. People just like you, who may not have meant harm, but in the eyes of the law committed a crime. It doesn't matter if her mom likes you. 18 means 18, ask anybody in jail on similar charges and they'll tell you.You'll be lucky if you only get probation. I'm not calling for your head, as my last girlfriend was 4 years younger than me too. The difference, I was 26, she was 22. You two may have a great thing together. If it is that great, it can wait.Your only other option is to attempt to get parental consent for marrage. That may help, but I've known plenty of people in your situation and it has always ended in the same place, jail.Best of luck. And it doesn't matter who her guardian is, it is the state that will file charges, or investigate a 15 year old who just gave birth.
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (22 April 2010):
 If she is pregnant then you need to take care of her whatever her decision is going to be. If she keeps it or not. People are trying to give you hell for this but the actions are in the past and there is nothing saying that you do not truely love this girl and this is the time to show. Even if there are charges pressed take care of her till you very last day and somewhere down the line things will work out.
If she is not pregnant or isn't going to keep it this may be a relationship that is going to have to be put on hold till she is legal.
Personally I don't see how people can want you to go to prison. No one has the right to take a childs father away from them when I have no doubt in my mind that you wouldn't step up and be the best father you could be.
I wish you two all the best in whatever follows in the time to come.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2010): IF her father decided to go to the police station to file a report, there would possibly be an investigation based on the age difference
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (22 April 2010):
Actually, I think it's the state that presses charges, not the parents. The parent cannot consent to a crime, if you understand me, the age of consent doesn't depend on parental consent to allowing a minor to have sexual contact. In most states the age of consent is between 16 and 18, so her being 14 is definitely under the age. You being 4 years older will also be taken into account and I think it depends on the state.
In Texas for example, this is definitely statutory rape. http://www.sexlaws.org/answer_board_question-is_it_this_considered_statutory_rape
So to answer your question, custody of the child has nothing to do with whether or not charges could be filed against you. Each state has slightly different laws, so it depends on which one you are in.
You may be in deep trouble. I think you need to consider getting an attorney. You certainly need to tell your parents.
She needs a pregnancy test ASAP. I hope she has a supportive mother because she's going to need one if you go to prison.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm 18 and she is 14 turning 15 in less than two months she might be pregnant?Her mom has legal custody her dad doesn't,does that mean only her mom can determine whether to press charges,and he does drugs so would they drug test him before court? but her mom is okay with me and her daughter.Help me? what do i do?
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (22 April 2010):
 Make sure if she is pregnant or not first.
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female
reader, raiders +, writes (22 April 2010):
 Yes he can, and he can also file charges against the mother for child endangerment/abuse because she is a minor and under state law in many states you can't have sex with someone 14 years or younger, and the father can take her to court for letting her run around with you.
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A
male
reader, Heartbroken in love +, writes (22 April 2010):
If she is pregnant you better take care of her otherwise her mom has 3 years to decide that she doesn't like you and to hold pressing charges against you. You not only have to make sure the girl is happy you also need to stay on good terms with her mama. Good luck man
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