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*ngelGurl
writes: Ok I'm Not Sure How To Put This, But I'm Sure I Need Advice. I Feel I Cant Go To My Friends So Here Goes. I Think I'm A Lesbian For The Simple Reason Males Dont Seem To Turn Me On. I'm 17 Years Old. I'm Worried People Won't Accept Me For Who I Am & not What My Personality Is. I Can Get Along Fine With Males But I Dont Seem To Like then As More As A Friend. What Do You Think I Should Do? Please Help!
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female
reader, YummyMummy  +, writes (7 July 2007):
 You may not have met a male yet the wets you appetite. That doesn't make you a lesbian darling. You are only young, so enjoy life and someone will come along that you do find attractive.
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reader, Your big sis +, writes (8 June 2005):
 Maybe you're a late bloomer, I was. I didn't have a relationship with a guy until I was 19. I thought I was lesbian too. I was very confused and disoriented as far as where do I fit in. Give it some time. And if you are attracted to women (which defines lesbianism), who cares what others think. As long as you're happy, that's all that matters.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2005): OK for 1 you might not be a lesbian. You just might not have met the right boy yet. And if you feel you are a lesbian and people can't accept you dont worry because you are who you are and you can't change that. If people think you're weird, then ignore them. In the end, it has nothing to do with them and it's your life. Be who you want to be and do it for yourself. Don't let people judge you because they have no right to.
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reader, taz +, writes (26 May 2005):
Just because you don't find men attractive doesnt mean that you're a lesbian. Maybe this is because you've had bad experience with men. And even if you find you're attracted to other women, then I say go for it. You will probably find people are more understanding than you think.
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reader, Wildberries +, writes (24 May 2005):
Not finding men a turn on does not make you a lesbian. Do women turn you on? Maybe you just haven't found the one that DOES turn your crank. There is no age limit on when that happens.Whether it is men or women, someday someone will turn your crank. It might turn out to be both genders that do it for you. That's okay too.
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (24 May 2005):
 By definition, to be a lesbian you have to be sexually attracted to women... not just unattracted by men, so from what you've described, you aren't a lesbian. It's certainly one possibility that only you will really be sure of, but sexuality isn't always black-and-white, either/or. There are lots of shades of grey in how you view and seek out sexual relationships.Here are some other options to consider: You could be "a late bloomer", who doesn't really have any sexual feelings until you meet someone who opens that whole world up for you. You could be shy. You could have repressed sexual feelings because of some incident in your past. You could be seeing the "wrong" guys (men who are selfish or rude or just immature and no fun). You could be a person who grows up to regard sexual relationships as unimportant, one of a group that refers to themselves as "asexual". There's also the possibility that you have low hormone levels, or another medical condition.You're still really young in the grand scheme of things, so this may well work itself out in the coming months and years. And maybe you don't even regard it as a problem. You haven't said in your letter that it bothers you. And if not, then it's not that much of an issue.If it bothers you - and if you have no sexual feelings for anyone - you might want to discuss it with your GP who will probably refer you for some blood tests. However, if you just don't have sexual attraction for men at this time, I wouldn't worry. None of us can change our sexual orientation and if you find later than women are your focus, you'll deal with it. Likewise, you may discover one man in future makes you feel special and find that you're sexually attracted to him. Just don't be in too much of a hurry to define yourself when you just don't know.Hope this clarifies some things for you.
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