A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:What is the oldest partner a 16 year old girl in the UK can date without it without frowned upon socially? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2009): Thanks for the opinions. Yes, I do look alot older, people usually assume I am at least 18, and I've heard 25 before. I don't get on with teenagers, so I left school a few years ago to educate myself. I have dated a few people who are 19-ish, all who find me too "intense" for them. I favour deep conversation to that which is trivial and about popular culture, and drink earl grey tea often… I like novels such and Dickens and Joyce; Orwell and anything by Christopher Brookmyre. I can see the logic in what you are saying. For me, a relationship is about conversation and having a connection, not about sex. I find men of 19 or so are only interested in sex, they also tend to drink regularly, and although I can get into nightclubs I dislike the atmosphere, so I have not been for a while. I feel somewhat motherly towards boys my age, and I think they see me the same way. I have a very alternative look including several facial piercings, extreme make up and hair colours and I wear long floaty dresses and s&m boots. I think teenagers find me quite intimidating, and call me a freak and "nutter", amongst other things I wouldn't dare say. lol. I am not dating anyone at the moment, however, the men I get on well with as friends are generally considerably older than myself, average 24. That's why I was asking, as in, how people would react to a girl my age (if they knew how old I was) dating someone that much older. This is because men of that age are generally quite self-conscious of how they are perceived by society, trying to establish themselves, and I would not want to be with someone if it made them uncomfortable, not because I myself see it as a problem. I have no issues with remaining relationship-celibate for a few more years, but I think what I meant also was just as friends, whether a guy in his mid-twenties would se it as shameful to be friends with a girl like me ( age-wise)? I am quite socially awkward, and I often think I would like to talk to someone, however I fear I will be rebuffed when they find out my age, as I was in the past (and I would hate to lie to someone).
I also consider myself bisexual, and have an on-off romantic friendship with a 15-year-old, however, she was sectioned 8 months ago (until recently we were banned from contacting eachother). I am attracted to her; and she is one of the few other people my age that is vastly mature beyond her years. We are very close, however I do not se her in a sexual way. I am also not attracted to conventionally good-looking men, and find myself going for effeminate and somewhat naïve older men with many physical imperfections, as well as androgynous-looking people.
Anonymous 24-year-old, I assume you live in a country where there be legal qualms to think about it, however where I am at the moment 16 is legal age, so no worries there.
Parents are not an issue for me, as my mother fell pregnant with me a few weeks after her 16th birthday and I see my father only at my discrepancy once a year. I basically have no parentage, as I am alone most of the time - my mother works full-time, and parties when she is not. My stepdad and I do not get on, but he has never sought to have any control over me. I am more like a friend to my mother.
The question was purely asking about how society would view it, and the views of older males, however thank you for all of your input.
(a solemn farewell), original poster.. Xx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2009): any age. people who frown at you have issues. forget 'the norm' as long as YOU are happy.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2009): People will always frown on the ones that don't follow the norm. It's a given. Me, personally though, Im 24 and I more then likely would never consider 'dating' a 16 year old girl.One: jail time.. Two:I'd feel uncomfortable and dirty, if my girl was the same age as my little sister. Third: unless she was beyond her years in maturity....in the end...it would never work. The drama and everything young girls bring to the table just isn't worth it. Woman my age are crazy enough to deal with haha.Now i've dated girls 10 years older then me and girls 6 years younger without a problem. Got alot of strange looks, but oh well. Now if this 16 year old was like my daughter, or let's say my sister, I wouldn't allow her to date anyone over 3 years older then her. I could deal with that.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2009): The oldest man in the world will celebrate his 113th birthday in September.
To answer your question more fully - at age 16, depending on how mature you are and how 'old' you look, I'd say the average morally conscious male around or over the 19-20 mark would likely feel a bit uncomfortable about dating you, and if he does elect to date you, will probably be frowned upon by outsiders FOR THE TIME BEING. Maybe rightly in most cases, maybe wrongly in some. A lot depends on your relative maturity levels. The age difference is vital right now, because you're still an adolescent, but will make far less of a difference within a short space of time.
It's all happening fast. At 14, it would be basically wrong for any guy not aged 13-16 to date you. At 16, even if you're very mature for your age, I would say 19-20 is the socially acceptable limit. But you're twice as mature now as you were then. At 18, you'll likely be at least twice as mature as you are now, an adult, and no-one will bat an eyelid if you choose to date anyone in their early-to-mid twenties. And so on, upwards.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2009): I'm not in this situation right now, although I have always been consistently interested in men alot older than myself. I agree entirely that dating people who are close in age and accessibility is fickle, and true love conquers all... however, it was more a general thing, as my friend and I were discussing this earlier. For example, a 16-year-old girl with a man of 24... would people frown upon this. Not that I care remotely what people think, I'm just interested in how it would be perceived - psychology freak. xD
Also, male opinions - 20s perhaps - on dating 16-year-old girls?
...............................
A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (25 August 2009):
 Personal opinion. Who are you interested in? Their age? When being in a real relationship, you find someone you fall in love with, would you be with them to please society or is that the person you'd want to be with.
...............................
|
