A
female
age
26-29,
*tzy.21
writes:im 16 and pregnant, yes i know your thinking im crazy. But, what im here for is to ask for advice.So im living with my boyfriend and this following month we have two years of relationship. Alright, so during does two years we've broken up plenty of times. So their is this one time where i broke up with him and several days later i find out he is trying to hook up with this other girl. Ofcourse, he was texting her and i was calling him like crazy and all he would do was ignore my calls. when i was acting normal at school, trying to act careless he decides to text me and ask's "can we be friends?" i say yes and since then we started talking again but yet i didnt know he was txting that one girl. I kiss him, and that night my friend tells me he had gone to that girls house and hanged out. after that we fix those issue's i give him a second chance. this time he got me worst. he gets his ex girlfriends number and starts talking to her but he didnt do nothing like (sex) with any of those two girls. i go back to him and months later i got pregnant. now i have a hard time thinking of that..i love him but i dont feel like he helps me out with my hormones and stuff.. and we havent been getting along lately i feel like his being the real him and we dont seem to be the same anymore? and i cry because of how much his hurt me..is it just me or my hormones are just getting to me? and well we've been fighting lately.. do ya'll think it's pointless for me to stay with him? i dont know what to do.
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female
reader, itzy.21 +, writes (12 March 2014):
itzy.21 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks everyone!!!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2012): the short answer is if you're planning on having this kid put up for adoption that's what I think you should do
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (20 February 2012):
 OP you have to become responsible now because you are going to become a mother and having a baby is no child's play. The pregnancy isn't even the hard part, the difficult part is raising the baby and giving it the best life possible. The child should in NO way suffer because of the parents. The child has not chosen to invade your lives, you have chosen to bring it into this world.
Whatever is going on with your B/f, it should have no bearing on your baby. If you think he is not a good influence, then so be it. Kick him out if you think you should and if you feel there is any way he can man up and take responsibility, then let him be a part of the baby's life. But whatever it is, take the decision very seriously.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2012): You shouldn't stay with him just because you're having his baby, if he's an irresponsible unstable jerk. he sounds like a pretty unreliable and untrustworthy person, and you can't make people like him change to be what you need. so you just have to minimize the damage caused by him.
if you're permanently broken up at least he can't do more harm to you. but if you stay with him you're going to subject yourself to more hurt and pain and that's worse than being on your own.
plus, if you're with him then not only are you subjecting yourself to more hurt and pain than being alone but also, by not being single you're also cutting yourself off from ever having a chance to find a better guy in the future.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2012): "i dont know what to do."Stop thinking about loser boyfriend and start thinking about your baby (little human being who is totally dependent on you for survival). It is pointless to stay with him because I can tell you right now he's not going to stick around after you give birth and suddenly turn into a whiny, clingy, demanding shrew who'll be useless to him once you're stuck with a kid he doesn't want to be tied down with. He'll be off having his fun elsewhere with some other girl(s) no matter what you decide you want to do. Welcome to being a grown-up before you're ready. Wasting my breath but if you really want what's best for your baby then start making arrangements to put the child up for adoption to parents who are actually capable of providing a home for him/her. You are years away from being able to give him/her the stable loving home every baby deserves.
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A
female
reader, LovelyLemon +, writes (19 February 2012):
 You are very young to be going through such a difficult thing, hun. I know he seems like the most important subject of your life right now, but you have a baby growing inside you, and very soon it is going to need all of your love and attention. As important as father involvement is, you really need to be with the most supportive people you can.If you are in a position to do so, I would suggest being with your mom or dad, or whoever is going to support you through pregnancy and motherhood, as much as possible. I would try to stay on good terms with your boyfriend, and maybe try to keep the relationship together, but now you really need to focus on keeping yourself healthy and preparing to adjust to having a baby in your life.Your boyfriend is going to have a hard time adjusting to fatherhood regardless of if you are together or not. I suggest that the two of you go to some sort of counseling or sit down with an experienced and understanding adult so that you can have a mediated conversation about your future.Much love and Best wishes
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2012): My dear I know you don't want to hear it but you need to. Yes you are indeed too young to be getting pregnant however that is still the big picture here. Whether you are pregnant or not, you are too young to be stressing over that type of BS from a boyfriend. When a guy TRULY likes you and wants to be with you, all of the hoopla that you just typed would be an after thought because it would not have even happened. If you have to over think and over analyze situations and his behavior, it is not a good sign it is a sign it is not meant to be. Keep in mind you are both young right now, you have your whole life ahead of you. Being that you are pregnant and you are still going through this is also not good on his part. He should be helping and caring for you.The answer is NO you should not be with him. What you SHOULD do is: Focus on this new life that you are bringing into the world and start PLANNING for YOU AND YOUR baby's future as if you are not going to be with him. This boyfriend of yours will need to make the decision to be with you and have a family on his own and take action to do so. He is NOT taking that action right now, so you need to leave it alone. Either way it goes,DO NOT WAIT AROUND for this guy. I hope you have a family to be supportive of you. Good luck my dear.
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A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (19 February 2012):
 Your 16, you've dated this guy since 14, you had underage sex (depending on your state) and got pregnant, now your guy is looking at other girls and trying to avoid you.This is why we old people try to warn you about the sex so young thing. He liked you at 14, he liked you at 15, but now you are 16 with a baby, and problems, and money worries and issues... well much to hard to deal with and he wants to run away. Young people change as they get older, who you love at 14 rarely last until 18. No it's not your hormones, it's just that young love very rarely last for long, and by the time the baby starts walking, and you have your hands busy just looking after it, he'll be long gone and you'll be glad, because you'll start thinking he's lazy, no help, and can't be trusted or depended on. You will meet guys you like better, who are more mature and have more to offer you.I really wouldn't worry about your boyfriend right now, worry about yourself and your baby, that's the important thing. Guys promise to love you forever (they don't) you promise to love them for ever, (you don't) they promise they will look after you and the baby (some try, most eventually run) That is the reality of teenage pregnancy, and trying to fight to keep him just won't work. He's too young to be a father, your too young to be a mother, but he can run, you can't... adults warn you about this, but you don't understand and now there is nothing you can do but be a good mother and hope that he at least pops in to see the baby when it is born.PS: Another bit of bad news.. you know your girlfriends, who think that pregnancy is cute and promise to be there for you always... sorry babes, they won't stay either, you won't be able to go out, you won't have any money, you won't be able to do the things they do, so many of them will eventually get bored and leave.... stick close to your mother, your aunts and the women in your family. Try to be friends with his mother. Right now your strongest support will come from the older women you know, because they are mothers, just like you. Your friends, your boyfriend are still teenagers, free to have fun with no responsibilities to worry about.
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