A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:im inlove with my second cousin his 46 and lives in scotland and im 16 i want my feeling to stop but recently he told me he feels the same i live in the uk he doesnt know how i feel i just want to get over him but his texts are just solidifying my feelings. any help ?
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female
reader, Ich_liebe_dich  +, writes (22 February 2010):
 RUNNNN, Run as fast and as far as you can... Save your self, save your future, SAVE YOU... Be strong.. dont let the emotion win you... Save your life.. May god guide you...
A
female
reader, Paula4u +, writes (22 February 2010):
 The age difference alone shouts run girl run. No way. When he is 56 you will be 26 he will need viagra and more energy than ever for the children for the young luscious wife (YOU) when he is 76 you will be 46 u will be still young and sexi. Other men will want you he will be in total decline dont dont dont my husband is over 80 and I feel a young 56. i love my husband but he is old and I'm not. We are both sad about this. Dont do it its unwise.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2010): Yes my advice would be to stop texting him. He is family and old enough to be your grandfather. You may be feeling rather flattered that a man so much older has feelings for you but it is just an infatuation for a young girl on his part. Many older men fall foul of this condition and make fools of themselves. Trust me, in 14 years time when he is 60 you will be glad you didnt embarrass yourself as he is doing. Keep your feelings to yourself and change your number. You sound far more sensible than he is x
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A
female
reader, alexisssss  +, writes (22 February 2010):
I'm not going to sit here and judge you cause thats wrong. But I will say that he is definitely in the wrong. You are 16 years old and in my opinion, 16 year old's can be very manipulated by a guy. Especially an older guy who knows how to manipulate. It is not your fault, but his. Now for some details, do you guys ever see each other? Living so far away is definitely an issue. Is he married? If he is married, back out now. Chances are he will not leave his wife for you no matter what he says. Have you guys had any type of sexual interactions? If you have, thats very illegal on his part. Now, considering he is your second cousin, thats is just a little gross in my opinion. But like I said, im not going to judge you and I don't know how your family is or anything. I have heard of a couple cultures that marry cousins and such, its just not my cup of tea. But saying this was a random 46 year old that you knew then I would tell you to definitely end the relationship as soon as you can. You are only 16 years old. You still have high school to finish and college as well. Ask yourself this, do you really see yourself staying with him through high school and college? In my experience, men do not like their girlfriends going out and partying or whatever you want really. Are you willing to really give all of that up for a 46 year old? So just think about the rest of your life. Change your phone number if you have to, but like I said I suggest losing all contact. Good luck and I hope you make the right decision.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2010):
Whoa. First off, if he really cared about you, loved you, there is no way he would be expressing his feelings towards you. He would wait until you were older, more experienced and wiser to approach you, at least until you were eighteen. THIS IS NOT LOVE. Do not let him make you think otherwise. I thought I was in love with someone twice my age when I was 16, (i'm now 23) i thought he loved me and i thought i loved him. Looking back, he was using me for sex, and to fulfill a fantasy of being with a very young girl. It makes me sick to think i was with him now. Talk to your parents or another family member or talk a youth councillor.
My advice is this. Surely, if he really cared for you, he would let you grow and experience life a little bit before making a move on you. He is the grown-up, not you. He shouldn't be sending you text messages AT ALL. He should have the maturity to ignore any moves you make on him, because it is not right that a 16 year old should enter into a relationship with a 46 year old. How dare he try and rob you of being with someone closer to your own age, going thought the same things you are. Remember that if you were 15 and eleven months he would be charged with paedophlia. Remember that he has 30 years on you. Thirty years of having sex, and being in relationships, and life that you haven't had. Why would he want to have a relationship with someone who is not quiet an adult? My advice, (that i which someone had given me) is to send him a text saying that maybe in a few years, you will be ready to start something, but right now you just don't feel old enough to get involved with him. If he really loved you, he would respect that and you won't hear from him. Ignore the texts if he sends you any more.
When i was sixteen, i wasn't really interested in boys my age, at my school etc, and they weren't interested in me. I loved having some affection and attention sent my way from someone i respected and was chuffed that he liked me. The romantic feelings you are feeling as a 16 year old, whether you have had sex or not, is VERY different to the romantic feelings a 46 year old man will have. Please, please please do not let him take advantage of your youth, that is exactly what he is doing. It might hurt to hear, but if he really loved you, he wouldn't do what he is doing. I would say stay away from this man. He sounds manipulative.
Sending you good vibes darling, and i hope you can see him for what he is, before you get hurt. Take care of yourself. xxx
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (21 February 2010):
This seems like more of a mess than anything. It's more likely that this second cousin just wants to use you. I would really stay away from him.
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A
female
reader, jc82 +, writes (21 February 2010):
 Tell your parents about what he said and how you feel if you really want help ending it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2010): Listen to your inner voice. For obvious reasons, age and the connection, this is not a good scene to et involved with. You are still young and trust me there will be many men you will meet in your own age group, that are not a relative. Let it go. This is not a good choice for you.
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