A
male
age
30-35,
*rakken000
writes:HeyThis is something i have really struggled with for the past few months.I think I am in love with my 25 year old female teacher. I am a guy and I am 16, 17 this year.If I dont talk to her, then I feel terrible that day; if i make her laugh then I have a huge smile all day.We talk alone, I have caught her playing with her hair, biting her bottom lip, and we get on really well. Whenever we have a conversation, even around others, we always catch each other looking at each other.We have our personal jokes, we always talk even if I dont have a lesson with her. I'm in my last few months in my school as I'll be going to college soon but I really think that if I dont do something then I'll regret it for the rest of my life. But then again, I dont want to embarrass her or myself, and lose what we already have.Help please? I tried to forget her once, but it was too painful. I am really crazy about her, shes my perfect woman. But I have always read others saying that this is something you should just enjoy, or that the teacher will get into trouble, but I can wait till im 18. All i wanna know is if theres any chance of us having a relationship. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2011): She is treading on thin ice if she has been flirting with you. If you did have a relationship, she would get her teaching licence taken away and probably never be able to work as a teacher again. As such she would probably never have a relationship with you (even though it sounds like she does like you) whilst you are her student and if she did then that would not be a sound basis in which to form a relationship. I doubt she would even admit to having feelings for you, even if she did.
I say wait till you finish school and you are 18, then who knows. See if she is willing to add you as a friend on Face book, this might give you an indication as to weather she is willing to date one of her ex students.
This is my advice, as a teacher myself.
Don't mean to burst your bubble.
A
male
reader, skirting the issues  +, writes (19 February 2011):
 You say you love her, and yet you want to ruin her life. Gee aint love grand. Do you not think she has the right to be with someone she can be seen dating without fear of reprisal? Even your so called innocent flirtations and conversations can get her in hot water with the school board. She has not yet reached tenure, meaning she can be dismissed for ANY hint of impropriety. In other words hanging out with you.
Nine years is not a big age difference. When you are both adults. This is not the case. Where would she go if she lost her job? Probably not your place. You will still have a life ahead of you. Hers will be destroyed. If you care for her you will let her have the life and occupation she chose.
Graduate high school AND college then seek her out. My guess is by then she will be a distant memory.
...............................
A
male
reader, Drakken000 +, writes (17 February 2011):
Drakken000 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank u all for the answers
It is so amazing to talk to anyone this openly
and get really helpful advice.
all those of you who have a similar situation to mine, just private message me. It is seriously nice to talk it over with someone is going through what u are.
thanks again!
...............................
A
male
reader, Drakken000 +, writes (17 February 2011):
Drakken000 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust to add, she is single, and I know what you guys are saying, but its not physical, I genuinely adore her who she is. But thank you guys sooooooo much!! All of you helped me loads, your answers were all amazing and really gave a balanced view.Right now, I'm just going to carry this little thing we have and NOT do anything stupid, but how do I approach her after I leave school?
...............................
A
female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (17 February 2011):
 Think about this: Any teacher who is caught having a relationship with a minor (an under 18) is tried and ends up on the sex offenders register. All that time, effort and money put into building a career teaching is gone, taken away from them. As soon as they are on the sex offenders register, they can NEVER get a job working with children EVER AGAIN!!!!
Do you really want to ruin your teachers life like this??? Jail time is temporary, but never having the chance to do something you love again is just plain awful. I beg of you, DO NOT SCREW UP THE FUTURE FOR YOUR TEACHER!!!!! As other posters have said, try dating girls your own age. Hopefully, this teacher has a sensible head on her shoulders, and would more than likely politely decline your advances. She would also have to report you to her supervisor if you made a move on her whilst still at school, this is going to get you into serious trouble. You would probably be taken out of her classes and you wouldn't be allowed to speak to her during the day either.
So, if you want to ruin both yours and her lives, then by all means tell her how you feel, but if not, i suggest you start looking at other girls in your year, and not at your teacher so much.
Good luck
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2011): I'm not going to say its a crush because I'm goin thru a similar situation. But personally I think u should definitely get to know her better and c if the feelings your having r true. If u do love her then after u graduate tell her u wanna keep in contact. Wait a few years then ask about a relationship. But I definitely feel for you. Havin strong feelins for a teacher both physically and emotionally hurt. A lot. I'm 16 goin on 17 and I've was/am in love with a teacher who's not even MY teacher. Even though he wants me and i have nothing to with him, because he's married with children. There's seriously nothing I wouldn't do to see him happy which is why I could never ask for anything from him. Anyways u do love u then u can wait a til u no longer share a student teacher relationship then it'd be okay. So long as the person isn't married has kids or engaged I say wth go for it! U can private message me if ud like. Good luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, JDinCali +, writes (17 February 2011):
 Sometimes to really love someone you have to let them go. This really isn't about you, reason being, if she got caught being with you she would lose her career! So, if you really cared about her you wouldn't want to jeopardize her life based on some sexual attraction ...that's exactly what this is.
Until you're a man, you can't love her the way she needs to be loved. So, stick to girls your own age for now and when you graduate college, get a job and you're still interested in her, then ask her out. Only then, can you provide true happiness for yourself and whoever you decide to be with.
...............................
A
male
reader, Ignacio ramos +, writes (17 February 2011):
First of all your teacher is way older thin you think about it 1. You a 16 yearsold 2. Your teacher is 25 years old so im going say this in a nice way you need to date girls your age not teachers next time you see the news about teachers end up in jail and lose ther job for dateing a 16 year old boy thats to much of a risk. Don't risk it teachers are hear to help you on school work. Have a nice day and good luck.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2011): You can't have a romantic relationship with her because she is your teacher. Anyone in the teaching profession who is principled will not enter into a relationship with a student. Someone in a position of authority over younger people who is serious about their career would never do this because it's not a balanced relationship. She is guarded with your welfare and your intellectual and emotional growth. To enter into a romantic/sexual relationship with you would jeopardize all of this and endanger both of you. Especially in your situation because it is illegal for her to do this and it could cause harm to her reputation even after you are 18 and you are no longer her student.
Just enjoy this for whatever it is, a friendship connection along the way of life and instead go out with women closer to your own age.
...............................
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (17 February 2011):
 I think you are in love with her because she got something that matches your criteria of the perfect woman. She is not the only woman who can fulfil you. There are probably a few more out there who got more than she does. Of course there is a chance of a relationship but that chance is not bigger or smaller than if you had it with other women later in your life. You know she got what you need. A nine year difference is not huge. You have to find out if you match her criteria though, or if she's just flirting with you. The majority of women, I believe, like older guys who can protect them. Maybe she is the exception. What you do is get to know her more but not bring up the relationship topic so soon. Find out what she likes first. If she has a fear it would be about what others would think of this relationship. "What! You are dating a young guy?" Show people how you are different from the typical teenager.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2011): Advice: Wait until you are not her student anymore and of legal age then you can contact her. This will eliminate most of uncomfortableness that can occur if you approach her as a student and under age.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2011): whoa.... hold on cowboy.. at least don't try to rope her in just yet. if you are feeling this way about your teacher you should definitely wait 'til after you graduate because you don't want to get her fired or in jail. first off you need to examine whether this is just meaningless flirtations i.e. lust or if you really have something there. i say weigh your options and try dating someone your own age for a bit see how that goes then after you get out and turn 18 confront her with your feelings if they are still there. she's a grown woman and you really don't know if to her you are just a class clown besides with all those hormones your body is producing i wouldn't be sure if you are just imagining things..
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2011): There is no way to know if the two of you really have a connection or if there is any chance of a relationship because none of us are there witnessing any this for ourselves. And yes, if you do anything while you are her student or while you are in school still, then yes, she will get into trouble. It's also possible that she might not want anything to happen even when you do graduate because her reputation as a teacher could be affected. If there is no way for you to move on, and you really want to see if there is anything there, then do her the favor and at least wait until after you graduate and make sure it is in a private place where she won't feel pressured to hold on to her position as authority. Also, remember that you are young and about to go to college and start your own life and identity. Meaning you have a lot of life and growing ahead of you.
...............................
A
female
reader, gubbs +, writes (17 February 2011):
trust me just wait until your 18 it will be legal plus you'll be leaving that school so you wont get kicked out and she dropped hints so go for it!!!!!!!!!!! (when your 18 only!!)
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2011): wow, i have the same problem! but different ages, he's way older than me! i don't think you should do anything. you can keep flirting with her and whatever, but don't make a move. not until you graduate from high school, at least.
...............................
|
