A
male
age
22-25,
*avidEsd
writes:Am a 16 year old teenager in High School. Am currently a junior dating my 14 year old freshman girlfriend. We've been together 2 months and its been working out. Me and her have kissed before a couple of times, but never making out. The reason being is that I have no where besides school to see her. In school its very hard to find a private place. I really want to make out with her and am starting to lose feelings for her since I can't really be physically intimate with her. What should I do? Help please...P.S: Reason am losing feelings for her is I really care about her and not being able to kiss her passionately is driving me crazy and at one point I think its just a good idea to call it quits, but I know that's not the right thing to do and I shouldn't. I really need advice. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, ova-valentine  +, writes (1 December 2016):
 You want to see her outside school. Go to a nearby park with her, go to the movies with her, join an extracurricular group with her, or go to each other's houses. Maybe even just find a bench on your school's front lawn and sit there and talk to her after school is over.
First thing you need to do - ask yourself if you actually care about her and if she actually means a lot to you. Does she make you get butterflies in your stomach, do you think about her a lot? Do you put her before yourself? Do you care about her emotionally, not just physically? Do you like talking to her, are you happy around her? If the answer is no, you probably don't have real feelings for her. If the answer is yes, keep reading.
If you want to show her you really care about her and you want to do this physically, you don't have to make out. After you've met up outside school a few times, tell her you care about her very much, and she means a lot to you, and be honest when you say it. Take it from your heart. If you don't feel it in your heart, DON'T say it. If she agrees with you and tells you that you mean a lot to her too, then now is the time. Don't be aggressive. Just start off small, and kiss her or take her hand, or put your arms around her. This is a sweet, kind gesture that will deepen your feelings for each other.
Trust me. If you care about her, and she cares about you, you don't need to focus on making out with her. Focus on getting to know her and deepening your feelings for each other. As you get older and your love for each other gets stronger, your physical contact will too.
If you're saying in your head that you want to make out with her now, then you don't truly care about her and your relationship. You just care about making out. And if this is the case, then go find someone who will make out with you for a quarter, there's plenty of those kind of girls around. But they will only make your heart hollow. A relationship with someone you care about and love will make your heart grow.
Choose wisely. Dio Benedica (God Bless).
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (29 November 2016):
 I think it would help to know more about your situation. Why can you only see her at school? Why can't you and her meet up after classes, for example? Or go to each others houses? Or to a nearby shopping mall? I don't understand why you can't meet elsewhere, because when I was your age I had my own place already, moved out of home, and me and my classmates were always hanging out at each others houses, even for sleepovers, or just hanging out after school. I mean, do you live far away from one another, so that visiting after school is impossible? There are no buses? Your parents don't allow dating?
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A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (29 November 2016):
 I seem to remember in the distant past that the cinema was a natural choice on Saturday afternoon. The park was also quite nice. Of course you shouldn't be attempting full intimacy because that could land you in big trouble. You do realise how the authorities will treat you were you to be caught with a minor. Not sure what the laws are in your state, but generally 16 is the threshold.
I think you would be better with someone your own age. Two years is quite a gap at your age.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (29 November 2016):
 "Reason am losing feelings for her is I really care about her and not being able to kiss her passionately is driving me crazy" - that's not how feelings work, OP. If you liked her enough, you'd realise she's kinda too young for making out, it's also too soon and not being able to make out wouldn't make your feelings fade.They would, however, start to fade if the main reason you're with her is because you "sort of like her" enough to experiment with her, starting with making out.If you want to make out, find someone your own age, OP. A 14 year olds limits should be pecks and cuddles, not making out and privacy (for that stuff).I think it's best you break up with her because you want more than you should ask from a 14 year old and you genuinely seem more hormone-driven, than feelings - which is okay and normal, but not fair to her.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123 +, writes (29 November 2016):
 If making out is up there in your list of priorities then it's best that you break up. Let's be honest here, there's no way this is going to last. Your biggest problem in life right now is not having a place where you can make out. Obviously one expects you to be in love with her, but I don't think that you even like her enough to be with her without the physical aspect.
More importantly, she's just 14! Maybe she doesn't know better but you should. It starts with making out and the next thing you know, you'll be jumping into bed and getting her pregnant.
There's a reason you don't have a place to do all this and there's a reason why neither of your houses are giving you this freedom.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (29 November 2016):
 Sounds like... you are dating her to have someone to make out with and honestly? She is 14. She may SEEM mature but really, she isn't.
And 2 months and making out is your biggest priority? Talk about raging hormones.
How about you DO spend the time you have to get to know her?
And if you can't go hang out at each other's houses, maybe there is a reason for that?
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