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female
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26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hy. I dont know if this is a bad idea or not. Lately ive been friends with an awesome, kind ,funny an intelligent guy for 8 months. I like him so much. He s been telling me the past whole week that one day 'when the time is right' he would appreciate me being his and making me feel like a princess. I found that really sweet but i just acted like its some kind of joke and now i cant stop thinking about him. He s the kind of guy that ive always imagined but the only problem is his age. The guy is 25 years old and that really horrifies me. I dont know what to do because im really inlove with the guy. Im just worried about what people(especially my parents) would think of me when they find out that im dating a much older guy. So the real question is: Is there anything wrong with a girl my age dating a guy of his age(25)? Thanx Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2012): I dated a guy that was 22 when I was 16. At first, I lied to my mom an stepdad and said he was only 20. Ha!My stepdad knew better but he didn't tell my mom.My stepdad told us to spend half of the time that visiting and doing family activities at our house and the rest of the time we could go out. This way my mom got to know my bf and she saw that he treated me good.But, im not saying you should lie to your parents!
You should sit down with your folks and calmly have a talk with them about this guy and his age.Tell them that they should meet him,learn who he is, his intentions, and maybe suggest that if you two want to spend some time together that you do it at your house with your family at first. But, remember, the more time you get him to interact with your family and actually talk to your parents using other words than yes ma"am and no ma"ma, they will see first hand how he treats you,they will get to know him.Hope this helps.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2012): If it is against the law where you are, then yes, you shouldn't even entertain the idea.
If the laws where you are consider you old enough to make the decision, and most Countries place this age at 16, then you CAN consider it... but that gap is large, though not terribly so, and gaps that size or larger require a lot of work on both parts... are you truly willing to put that in? Is he?
These are the things you must think about when getting into a mature relationship.
Flynn 24
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2012): I dated someone when I was 16 and he was 24. I agree that at 24 he was sexually more mature and he loved me and respected me enough not to sleep with me. I was very much in love with him but we parted as it was a LDR. We have remained friends and we are married to different people. It depends how mature you are as well as you need to ensure that he does not seduce you and leave you with a broken heart. Age is a number but the feelings can be real. You know in your heart what you want just dont sleep with him until you are ready and if he loves you and respect you he will wait.
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reader, maverick494  +, writes (12 September 2012):
I am 24 and though I can get along well with young teens like you, I would never date them. Like others have said, the maturity gap is too big. I was at such a different place in my life at 16 than I am now. At 16 I was still in highschool. At 24 I've completed my service in the army and am currently completing my master of criminal investigation. Others my age already have kids. A lot happens in 8 years, especially at the phase of life you're at. I am very different now than I was at 16. I gather the same will be the case for you when you reach this age.
That said, there's this ongoing trend for people to get stuck in their teenage years while they grow older physically. I know 28 year-olds who still have the exact same life they had at 18. Their maturity level hasn't increased much, but you'd have to ask yourself if you'd like being with someone who hasn't progressed in a decade.
To be honest with you, I think it's a bad idea. There's a reason he falls for girls your age and that usually has to do with him being stalled in life or simply being a creep who likes to take advantage. Since your gut is already telling you something is off, it would be best not to take the risk or at least wait a couple of years.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2012): I personally think it would be a horrible idea. I'm 24, and I regret things similar from when I was your age, things you're probably not going to understand until you're my age. First off, you are sexually-immature, and he's not. I don't mean this to offend you; I mean this as you are not as familiar with it as a 25 year old would be; it takes time. Although you're more than likely active by now, it's best to stick with your age group during relationships, as guys your age are as mature sexually and relationship wise as you are. For ladies, as well as guys, adolescence is an important part of relationship development, and you want to make smart choices about them. Although 25 doesn't really seem that much older, because you are only 16, I would think he either has serious issues that prevent him from bonding with gals his own age, or he could be taking advantage of you; 16 year old girls have a curiosity for sex (the START of maturing) that older-issued men can easily take advantage of. He should be showing you how to change a bike tire or how to survive high school.. not talking about a relationship with you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2012): "So the real question is: Is there anything wrong with a girl my age dating a guy of his age(25)?"Problem isn't age gap, it's maturity gap. A 25-year-old is an adult, a 16-year-old is a minor lacking the capacity to make informed decisions, regardless of legal age of consent in some jurisdictions.Always leery of guys his age interested in girls your age, indicates there is something not quite right about them that instantly turns off women their age, and so to compensate they turn to naive, impressionable, mid-teen girls like you who can't make the distinction between age and maturity. At 16, you can't be expected to know what type of behavior is normal and expected for a 25-year-old and what is inappropriate, and that is the problem. "The guy is 25 years old and that really horrifies me." Your instincts are correct, trust them and end all contact. "I mean like what if i was 20 and he was 29,30 would it still be considered as a bad idea?"Maturity gap between 29 and 20 much, much less an issue. A 20-year-old still lacks life experience but is a legal adult able to make his/her own decisions. You'll be a much different person in four years while he'll have changed very little if at all. Given how much you will grow and mature and evolve over the next few years, I highly doubt you will have the slightest interest in a guy like him when you are 20; you will be able to see much more clearly exactly the kind of creep he likely is, and he will have probably long moved on to another young, naive, impressionable child.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2012): You sound like you're having doubts yourself about this, so I would not suggest taking this any further than friends at this time. Besides, he himself said 'One day', not 'Today', so he may actually want to wait until you're older anyway.
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reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 September 2012):
 If you have to worry about what mommy and daddy think, you are not ready to date this man.
At 16 I would NOT allow my child to date an adult male. At 25 I had children. I was married for years already.
There are tons of things wrong with a man of 25 dating a girl of 16 or a woman of 25 dating a boy of 16
Now to be honest… when I was 25 my fiancé as a mere…12 and I would not have even considered anything other than babysitting him…
For a man to want to date a child tells me that HE is not mature enough…
IF you want to wait till you are 20 that’s FINE with me… you may find at 20 that he’s not nearly as mature at 29 as you thought he was when you were 16 and he was 25.
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reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (11 September 2012):
 If you are 20+ then it is okay and up to you, at that point you are an adult and free to make decisions, also you are far more mature. You may feel mature now but you grow a lot between 16 and 20. My husband is 8 years older than I am which is no problem now because I'm 24. At 16 it wouldve been disgusting.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2012): I honestly appreciate your comments and totally agree with you. Thing is Yes, he s willing to wait..only problem is the age difference. I mean like what if i was 20 and he was 29,30 would it still be considered as a bad idea?
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reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (11 September 2012):
I think so. A guy his age should not be wanting to date a 16 year old girl. It is wrong, usually illegal, and not acceptable for most parents or people. It says a lot about his maturity level to go after girls so young and still in high school. If he really likes you he can wait until you are out of school and legal. But you are right to be horrified by his age, it is inappropriate. I'd advise to stay friends for now.
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reader, Replacement  +, writes (11 September 2012):
 If you're horrified by his age, it's probably not a good move for you to date him. Keep it friendly and platonic.
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