A
female
age
30-35,
*ell7998
writes:hi, im 16 and i joined the police explorers group about a year ago. In like November of 2007, i noticed was growing more and more attracted to the police officer in charge of our group. I had knee surgery that spring, and he saw a picture of my knee and said "o, your leg does not look as sexy there." Then we were out in this shed looking for a gun, and I was telling him about how this sub from my school asked me out on a date. He responded "I wonder what would happen if I were not a cop." A few days later we were eating pizza and I asked who didn't eat their crust, i explained it was the best part of a pizza. He looked over at me and said "your the best part." He is always winking at me, and smiling. I got in a car accident and he was the cop who responded, and when he got there he asked why I was wearing jeans and not shorts. He also said in a year I would be legal, and he was 9 years older then me. He also asked what I would say if he called me cute. I have no idea what to do, I am in love with this man. I cant ever get him out of my mind, and I have no idea what to say or do? When he found out I had a crush on him, he avoided me, and never called me or texted me. My friends all laugh when I talk about it, and I cant go to my parents. Should I tell him I love him, or should I leave him alone, even though I love him?
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female
reader, stefloves you 411 +, writes (30 August 2008):
 omg tell him! i was in the same spot and i didnt tell him how i felt now i will never see him or talk to him again and it hurts everyday! tell him then message me and tell me what happens
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2008): His wife can probably tell that there is a mutual attraction between the two of you.
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A
female
reader, PsyCookie +, writes (29 August 2008):
 Kell, I know that what I will tell you, you might not like, but you came here for some advise and this is what I'll tell you:
Please stay away from this man. It will lead you to no good. You'll end up hurt and probably humiliated if you wait for this man to "leave his wife"...if that's what you're hoping for.
He is trying to get his cake and eat it to, so don' give him the pleasure. I know that you might feel that you are in love with this guy, but also you got to hit reality: This guy may not love you and he's just probably wanting to have some fun. What would a guy his age want with a 16 year old? You're practically a child.
So what you should do is that when he tries to flirt with you, resist him and don't pay attention to him. He likes the attention, and getting it from a pretty girl like you probably gives him a boost. If he persist after your disinterest, then just go upfront and tell him to stop; be stern.
He's playing with you and you're falling for his game. This guy doesn't sound so good (It seems he wants to go around the block behind his wife), so please don't get involved, it will not lead to anything good.
Please think over what I said, and make a decision.
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A
female
reader, kell7998 +, writes (28 August 2008):
kell7998 is verified as being by the original poster of the question sorry, he is married. I have met his wife before, and she does not like me at all. I will say that he ran away from me for a while and now he flirts again
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2008): he is just being a perv. Hes married.. and seeing how far he can take things with you and eventually will try to get in your pants.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2008): I agree, I can't see anywhere in your posting, where it mentions this guy is married. Perhaps you should confirm that for us. I will answer based on the assumption he isn't married. Here are my comments:
Leave him alone. This man you claim to love is playing an flirty dangerous game with you. And he's reeling you in. Please be careful because it appears you are falling for his game. What's happened here is: you are young teen girl, who has gotten a chance to try out her feminine sexuality on this older, more worldly adult male. For many females your age who do this--this is just a practise run. You like him because he shows a sexually, provocative interest in you and it makes you feel sexy, grownup and womanly. He likes you because you make him feel young, sexy and desired. He is hitting on you, waiting for something to happen. And you are much, much too young for him to be playing with. I find it hard to believe you are in love with him, dear. Love requires both people to actively date, talk, bond, connect for many months, with each other. I think you are intrigued, infatuated with the attention you get from him...that is all. And remember, most sensible, mature adult males don't date and have sex with adolescent females, unless they themselves have a screw loose. I have nothing against age gap relationships, as long as both people are legal adults. You are not. You do, indeed, have a big huge crush. Let it run it's course and date guys your own age.
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A
female
reader, nicole5178 +, writes (27 August 2008):
 It's pretty obvious he liked flirting with you... maybe he didn't think it would ever progress into anything more. It seems like he was very put off by you having serious feelings for him. If he's a police officer, he knows it's wrong. I think it just became to real of a situation--that's not what he was looking for.
Give him two weeks space... don't talk to him about anything non-police-explorer-group related and avoid talking to him unless it's necessary. After two weeks, try acting as though things are going normally. Don't tell him that you love him until you are legal. Trust me, he won't want anything to do with you until then--the risk is too great, especially for a law enforcement official. Wait until you are of age, and then if you still feel the same way, you should definitely tell him. He might not be willing to risk his marriage, but if you never say anything, you'll always wonder....
Hope everything works out well with you! Best of luck.
x Nicole.
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A
female
reader, PsyCookie +, writes (27 August 2008):
So is this man married or is the title description wrong?
Well, if he's married, then he's out of the question, no matter how strong you feel about him. You should never be a homewrecker.
Well, in my opinion, his actions are pretty clear. He might have innocently flirted with you, but once he found out you liked him, he took the measures to hint to you that he doesn't want a relationship with you, so my guess that even if you decide to tell him, it will lead to nothing since he has just showed you he wants nothing from you.
So I guess is just keep this to yourself and try to get over him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2008): Telling him is a bad idea, especially since he's married. Though you probably don't want to hear this, you should forget him and find someone closer to your own age. When you're this young, 9 years is a big difference. Only when you're in your 40s or so is it not such a big deal, but do you really want to wait til then?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2008): Honey its not love that you feel but teenage fatuation this man is 9 years older 25 i belive and He's not inlove with you he just wants to take you to bed because of your youth men at this age 90 percent have a very high sex drive and believe he's going to tell you what ever you want to hear just to get what he wants and the fact thats he a cop and making sujestion has really got me worried he knows he's crosing the line by just admiring you is against the law two many years between the 2 of you and I have seen this over and over I work with a teacher who married a young girl she was 18 and he was 31 and they have 2 children well she ended up having and affair with a younger man and now he raising his kids alone because if wife told him he was 2 old, i say that to say this we may think we want someone older because it makes us feel so mature and grown up men like this thats willing to date a younger person male or female it just for sex and nothing else so please think about this your friends probably laughed because they know someone like him or they have heard these tells before and thinking you're to blind to see it
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2008): Your title says he's married - but it isn't mentioned in your tale. If he is married - stay away.However, if he's not, then if there's a chance it might work and you are sure he's not dodgy then go for it!
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