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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi, the problem is my tutor, im 16, he's 33, big gap i know but hey!.he keeps being flirty, but he has some days when he will completely blank me, n some when he seems so happy 2 c me he won't stop smiling!wa should i do, he is taking the class on a sleepova to a haunted house at the end of november wa should i do?i like him soooooooooooooooooooooooo much, and judging by most of the signs i think he likes me to?im confused can sum1 please helpta.xxx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2006): Okay I am 18 in a serious relationship with a 39 year old. thats 21 years of difference. At first i didn't even think that it could be. Or even if i wanted it but he wanted it so badly. He smiled a bunch and told me how happy and good I made him feel. Never flirted though and was always so respectful. I never put myself out there at him and so he respected that about me. Never once did he get out of line but always so into me. One problem i see with what you said was that he has some days when he blanks you out. Thats not right and that is not real. I have been with my man for 10 months now and we live together in a whole other state together now to start a life with one another. Think about it and find what you want.
A
female
reader, Jenny Wren +, writes (25 October 2006):
 I would hope that the reason he is being friendly one moment and blanking you the next is either because he has no idea that you are keen on him and is treating you like anyone else, or that he has realised that there is something going on, and likes you, but knows that he should not encourage any sort of unprofessional relationship.
Like DrPsych said - leave him alone and direct your sexual vibes elsewhere.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2006): There's no point in anyone telling you that this is just a crush. Maybe it's not. Maybe it is. To you it's completely real.
The thing is, real lovecan be bad as well as good for you. I had a relationship with a much older man, who was also my tutor of sorts. We had fun and certainly loved eachother but looking back now I deeply, deeply regret what we did as it was and very damaging for us both. Sometimes, love doesn't conquer all. Sad but true. Could you accept that yours is a situation where this is likely to be true?
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A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (25 October 2006):
 It is normal to have a crush on a teacher or adult role model, it is not normal for him to reciprocate this interest. In the UK it is illegal for a teacher to have a relationship with a pupil even though I understand you are above the age of consent. You have to see this situation realistically:
1. He really fancies you and you fancy him back - other staff find out and he is sacked and the police maybe involved. He won't be someone with much integrity of character if he is prepared to date a pupil...how will you be sure he won't fancy other pupils too?
OR
2. He doesn't fancy you, and you say something to him. He is embarrassed and you still have to see him in the teacher-pupil relationship.
You just need to leave him alone and find someone less complicated!
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