A
female
age
26-29,
*nimaniac
writes:im 15 and me and my bf have only been dating 2 months, but we both fell inlove realy fast, but he gets jelous so easy i cant even mention another guys name without him getting realy angry at me!!! he has anger management issues and i realy try to help but it gets to a point where i cant handle him calling me names or treating me like cr*p infront of all his mates because of his jelousy, or because of his constant drinking. i try to stay calm and explain things to him and after i do he's usualyu realy apoligetic and regrets what he's done, but sometimes it only takes him 5 minutes to get angry again! so i feel like everything he says is a lie. i tried hard to trust him but when he gets angry he threatens to cheat on me and his mates try to get him with other chicks when im literaly 1 meter away!!!! so its been hard to trust him and i hate him going out drinking and doing a number of other drugs (99 percent i wish he didint, but some of the natural ones i can handle if its only on occasion (such as bud) but now because i cant trust him he says im to clingi and he needs time alone, i try to stay away but every second he's away im scared and perranoid. now he gets angry at me if i cry ): now im not perfect either and a few months before we got together i slept with one of his friends (this is b4 i even new my bf!) and he always gets angry at me for it, now i cant even listen to certain songs because the freind i slept with likes them ): i feel trappd. we have broken up once before (he dumped me because he thought i was looking at another guy, and i wasnt) then he turnd up drunk as hell at 11pm came in and imedietly slapped my as, now he ven complains if i dont want sex on one night of the week ): but i dont want to let him go because apart from these things he's amazing, i love him so much and i want to fix this without breaking up
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male
reader, Heartmender  +, writes (18 July 2010):
 I agree with the others, but I also know that when you are in love with someone it's really hard to dump them, so I'd reccommend this if you want to dump him and realise it's for the best but just can't bring yourelf to do it:
Go inside your head and think about all the things that make you love him, the good memories, the things that make you stay and stick with him despite all the abuse. Take the pictures in your mind and make them black and white (like the old TVs, make the sound of the memory fuzzy and crackly until you can't hear it at all and then SHOOT the image waaaaay into the distance till you can't see it at all. Then think about ALL the many things that make you realise you need to leave him; the abusiveness, the cruelty, the alcoholism, EVERYTHING! Then 'zoom into' these images and make them brighter, louder, more intense, the works! Do that until the idea of taking his crap even just one more time fills you with recoil.
This is a technique called "falling out of love" and therapists use it to help people get out of toxic, harmful relationships. IT WORKS! So don't do it unless you're positive that you want to make this change (which I personally would recommend strongly.) Also, as a tip for the future, think of all your assets and decide what kind of guy you want and deserve. Get it real clear in your mind that you won't settle for anything less and then go for it! Build the life of your dreams and don't let cretins like this guy mess about with it. Good luck, I hope you do what makes you happy in the long run... xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2010): 2 months and he's acting like this? Is he older than you? If you stay with this boy/man you're stepping into danger. He's already starting to control you. He WILL use violence either soon or eventually. You need to leave him, it's for your own good. And if he pesters you, tell somebody/your parents.. even the police if you have to! Don't stay with him, he doesn't love you at all. He's just an angry, insecure, IMMATURE little boy and you deserve better. Leave him.
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A
female
reader, lily13524  +, writes (17 July 2010):
 Girl you need to dump this dude,its so obvious that he is not good enough for you.You a young lady you should not even be hanging out with persons that are bad influence to you.Seriously what kind of friends do he have,they actually try and get him with other girls and you are sitting right close to them.First,at all they don't have respect for you because you don't stand up for yourself and you are putting up with their friend cr*p.You need to dump this dude,no one should be making you cry and get all paranoid.This is not love,love does not hurt.And you can not possibly fall so deep in love with a dude withen two months this is not right and you know it.So get out of this relationship.
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A
male
reader, Illithid +, writes (17 July 2010):
 No man, anywhere, is worth putting up with that. He's controlling, emotionally and verbally abusive, immature, beginning a life of alcoholism and drug addiction, and openly planning to cheat on you. You've been with him for two months (also known as the exciting honeymoon period when things are the best, it will not be getting BETTER from here on out). What makes this man so amazing that you want to live a life where your boyfriend leaves you paranoid, afraid, and crying? What attracts you to him so much that you don't even want to be happy?
In all honesty, he simply isn't good enough for you.
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