A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I am 14 and I think I am pregnant. My boyfriend knows, he says hes with me all the wall. He told me even befor we had sex that he wanted to marry me so I beleive him. He doesnt think I should get an abortion and neither do I. But my mom is a total different story. She is abusive calls me bad names, she hits me too. I am scared to death to tell her. One I dont want to raise my baby in the same awfull place I was raised. Second I dont want my mom to hurt my baby. I dont know what to do. I have some of the symtomes of being pregnant. I feel sick to my tummy alot. I am always tired. I am always hungrey. I am scared can someone help me ASAP please!!!!! I need help!!!!!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi. I posted this question. I missed my period and took 3 test and got postive. My boyfriend is upset because he thinks he is going to lose me because of my mom. How do I get him to clam down and listen to me? Now he wants me to get an abortion and he is freaking out. Do all guys do that when they first find out they got their girlfriend pregnant? I dont want to kill my baby. I am strongly against it. I would rather put the baby up for adoption. And be able to see him/her sometimes and talk to her/him. I really want to be apart of my babies life.
A
female
reader, azzamboss  +, writes (29 December 2009):
 hi hunz, i knw i'm not one to judge b/c i was once in ur position, but it came out that i wasnt, but i'm 18 now and if u r jus try to be the best mom in the world, and if ur bf did say that he's goin to marry u, well some guys just do that to get u in bed, (but as i said before i'm noone to judge,) but if u can truely say tht he meant it maybe he is fa real.....boo jus try to be more careful and dont mess up ur life with all the drama plus thinkin tht ur prego......be gud
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A
female
reader, meg2989 +, writes (28 December 2009):
 Well have you missed your period? If you have, then go buy a pregnancy test, if you havent wait for your period, if doesnt come after 2 days, then get a preg test. Test in the morning. If you do end up pregnant, then I think you may need a plan before you tell your mom. How are your boyfriend's parents? You may need to tell them first to see maybe if you could stay with them after you tell your mom, that way if she does get upset and tries to take it out on you physically ( which no mother should ever do by the way)you will have somewhere safe to stay. I really don't know how you would be able to raise your baby without help from either his parents are yours, especially because you are so young, but at the same time your mother or your bf's parents may not be able to afford to house you and the baby along with the rest of the family, then again there are a lot of programs that help young mothers, especially things like calworks (although where you live it maybe called something else) and food stamps if you could qualify, which im sure you could if the people you lived with couldnt afford extra food, and you maybe able to aply for wic, but that may prove more difficult. But you would still need to be able to finish school and someone would have to be able to watch the baby for you, although some continuation schools, while the education isnt as good as a regular highschool, you can find some that are specially for pregnant teens or teens with children. Some continuation schools have a day care that can watch your child at no cost to you. But don't forget about the option of putting the baby up for adoption, many families want babies but cannot have any due to fertility issues and there are adoption agencies that actually let you pick the parents you want to adopt the baby. I believe its a called a semi-open adoption, and there are other stipulations to semi open adoptions as well. But anyways those are just some ideas. You can cross that bridge when you come to it... but first things first, pregnancy test!!! If it turns out that you are not pregnant maybe you would be able to see about getting on birth control or use condoms religously. Or you can do both, which would prove even more effective against pregnancy. Good luck honey, all the best wishes and if you need someone to talk to or advice, plz don't hesitate to msg me.
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A
female
reader, Summershine +, writes (28 December 2009):
Hey, it's ok. Look if your mother is hitting you, you need help. If the boyfriend's mom is calm, gentle and understanding tell her. She could help you. Usually the mates mothers are nicer. And you shouldn't be having sex at 14. I know it craves but atleast wait until you seventeen or eighteen. You're still kind of a child. at 17-18 you're Kind of a adult pretty much. Abortion will scar you for life. You will regret everything and if you keep the baby it might be a handful. Now, if your boyfriend is that serious about NO abortion and getting married you should listen. Wishes of goodluck. Need more advice contact me.
~Summershine~
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A
male
reader, Duke13  +, writes (28 December 2009):
Do not get an abortion... If you test positive get help from someone reliable school etc
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2009): You can visit the doctor, and ask them to keep your query confidentual , and you can have tests done to dictate weather you are pregnant or not.
if you are, then no one but you and your partner can deciide wether to keep it or abort it
some people are against abortions so you can put your baby up for adoption too,
there is always a way around it ,
and if you dont want to keep it remember for next time...
Wrap it up!!!! :)
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A
female
reader, merrygoround +, writes (28 December 2009):
Planned Parenthood is one step for a young mother like yourself. Call about the programs and assistance for teenage mothers. But a word of caution about getting married as your boyfriend promised. Af fourteen years old neither of you are ready for marriage and obviously not a baby. So dont focus on marriage right now because you are both too young. Is there anyone else you can talk to about your abusive situation at home? A counselor? An older friend? Aunt? Maybe they can help you by allowing you to live with them until the baby is born. You wont have to be subjected to any physicial abuse. You wont be able to hide it from your mother for long though. She will eventually find out as the baby grows and your body changes.
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A
female
reader, ChantillyMarie  +, writes (28 December 2009):
Okay so you're 14, and you believe that this boy wants to marry you at that age?
No offense to you, but you shouldn't even be having sex at that age, it's an adult activity, and now you know why kids aren't supposed to have sex at young ages, some adults can't even handle the pressure of accidently becoming a parent.
But, towards your mom hitting you, you need to go tell someone, like child services, that's not okay, and it's illegal to "abuse" a child.
As to the pregnancy issue, I'd go see a doctor and get some of his advice, and I'd get an abortion if I was you.
I know it's not pretty, but do you want to be a highschool drop out, at 14-15?
And to your boyfriend, he should be using a condom, and you should try going on the pill. BUT after you go see the doctor.
~Chantelle.
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