A
female
age
30-35,
*enderlove14
writes:I'm 14 and i'm pregnant. The boy doesn't want me to have the baby he's only 16. My mom doesn't think i should either. My mom is a disabled single mom and we are having a hard time. She takes care of me and my 10 yr old sister by herself. Is it fair for me to want to have the baby? What should i do?
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female
reader, lexieski  +, writes (2 July 2008):
hi, i know that this is a very strange way to do things but i have to ask, my husband and i have been trying for a baby for over 4 years now, and were just wondering if you had thought about giving the baby up for adoption?
if you have would you please contact me.
If you have decided to keep the baby then thats great, congratulations and good luck.
A
female
reader, lexieski +, writes (2 July 2008):
hi, the choice is really yours, it will be hard for you all but if you really can't see your self giving the baby away then you should keep it, also think about what kind of live you have at the moment and then think what it will be like with the added stress of a new born baby aswell,
you have lots of choices and thinking to do and at your age it is so much to cope with.
if you would like to talk or want some help send me a e-mail or message back.
take care
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2008): To be honest, I don't believe you are in a good position to bring your baby up. However, if you really want your baby, why not keep it and then give it up for adoption? As another aunt said, the gift of life is the best gift of all, for a couple that are unable to have a child of their own. Having an abortion would be traumatic and unnecessary really, so I'd advise thinking about how you'd feel about putting it up for adoption. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, XXpussycatXX +, writes (3 May 2008):
im going to be honest im a 19 year old ive just had a beautiful baby girl wjo is 11 weeks old, it is very hard my dad is also disabled and my daughter has brought joy to everyone, what i am trying to say only u can make this decision and yes it is very hard and you are very young im not going to deny that but do what is best for you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2008): I can't think of anything more wonderful then to help a couple that can't have a child. It is the most selfless gift a person can give.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2008): I really don't think you're in any position to bring up a baby.You said yourself you're already having a hard time, but adoption can be more hurtful than abortion and vice versa. In the end it's really you and the child's father's decision, and he's already made up his mind, don't feel pressured, just do what you think is best.
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A
female
reader, *Crazy in Love* +, writes (3 May 2008):
Well i can tell you what i would do but pleasae do what feels right to you. If it was me (im 15) i would find a loving couple that cant have children and have the babby and let them adopt it. You still have your whole life a head of you and if you dont have the means to take care of it then you shouldn't make the baby suffer. I hope i helped!!! Good Luck!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2008): I really dont know what to tell you other than, if you choose to have this baby and keep him/her, its a contract for a lifetime. And having a disabled Mom, it will be even harder for you .
I hope you find peace in your decision but depending on your values and what you are comfortable with, please remember that there are many many infertile couples out there that would give your baby the world.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, :):):) +, writes (3 May 2008):
Honey, only you can make that decision.
You must consider how a baby will change your life.
Your education,how it will be financially supported.
Your mum is just looking out for you and wants whats best for you.
You're not selfish to want the baby, but this is a very important decision taht only you can make.
Its your body,your baby and your decision.
It might help to discuss your options with a heathcare worker or nurse.
Whatever you choose to do, make sure you're absolutely sure. I wish you all the best.
xxx
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A
female
reader, MissWendlemoot  +, writes (3 May 2008):
 Honey, I will give you my honest opinion. It wouldn't be a good idea to have a baby with the current circumstances. A baby brings a ton of stress even when a baby is planned by an older married couple who have good jobs.
Speaking from experience, your life will be over as you know it as the baby will consume 100% of your time. That means no time for friends or dating. There is the problem of money. Babies cost a ton of money and neither of you is prepared for that. A 14 year old won't be able to find work and the 16 year old boy will have a tough time finding a job too.
My advice would be to not have the baby and then get on some reliable birth control and have any boy you be with always use a condom as a back up.
Focus on your studies in school and get good grades. Go to college and get a degree in something and get a fabulous job. Then later on, you'll meet a good decent man who is also educated and has a good job like you do, get married and then have a family.
Yes, it is old fashioned but it still works!
Best wishes sweetie in whatever you decide.
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