A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Im 14 and i just found out my best friend has liked me since 5th grade. We were on the phone a few days ago and he wants to be "friends with benifits" Well i like him alot to and i kinda do wanna be to. but he has a rep of just using people. I can't tell if he seriously likes me or not but he wants to "hang out" this weekend so he can finger me and so i can give him a hand job. And since he told me he has liked me ive been thinking alot about sex and masturbation and have been really horny. i need advice on ways to masturbate.
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male
reader, turbine  +, writes (7 October 2010):
Yes Gabrielle is absolutely right. You will get shattered and devastated one day. At this age think only long term. You could go solo and give yourself a sexual release every now and then. FWB is absolutely a no no.
A
female
reader, Catherine_jo  +, writes (6 October 2010):
You are 14, you are at the transforming period, from a little girl to a young woman. Therefore it's normal for your hormones to rage. Do not be friends with benefit with him, after all he's only using you for his pleasure. No doubt you will feel pleasured too, but you are also losing your dignity as a women. Furthermore, it will lead to sex, and you sure you want your first to be with an ass?
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A
female
reader, 333 +, writes (6 October 2010):
He probably doesn't. I was in the same situation when I was 15 (i'm 17 now). At first I loved it.. but then I felt used. Don't put yourself in that position. Wait for the right guy and respect yourself!!!!!
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (6 October 2010):
 He got the rep of using people for a reason. He probably takes advantage of people, uses their desire to be his friend to his benefit and leaves them nothing much but regrets.
I predict that if you do become his FWB, you will start to like him more and more, even if the sex part isn't very good for you, and you will wind up devastated when he gets bored and moves on to the next FWB, or worse, an actual, honest-to-goodness girlfriend.
I think this will wind up hurting you a lot, in the long run. You'll be deeply hurt, a friendship will be in tatters and you'll be left feeling used. Then other guys who aren't interested in anything but sex will look at you and think that you're good for a quickie but won't see you as girlfriend material.
My advice is to do as Gabrielle says, keep the benefits as a solo activity. Take care.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (6 October 2010):
 The 5th grade? Really that long?
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (6 October 2010):
 He doesn't seriously like you. That's not what 'friends with benefits' means.
What it does mean is that you'll have sex, but the rest of the time he's going to have nothing to do with you. Including not wanting to show affection in public, or to have you talk about him to your friends.
It also means that he'll feel he can have the same setup with other girls too.
Do you want something like that? Personally I have to say I don't recommend it.
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A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (6 October 2010):
 I've been where you are when I was about the same age - and let me tell you, three years of that later I felt horribly used. It's the only phase of my life I regret.
At 14, your sexual appetite should benefit only yourself - use a finger or a shower-head.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (6 October 2010):
 This is not a good idea. I am sure you were expecting this answer already, you are far too young for this sort of thing. You are too young to get tangled in the complexity of such 'friendships', should things go wrong (and they often do) you will get hurt unecessarily. Do not do it.
I hope that helps.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2010): Don't do it. He obviously DOESN'T like or respect you enough as he only wants friends with benefits. You're also underage. Please enjoy your youth, enjoy your hormones and sexual appetite, by yourself.
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A
male
reader, nightshade41 +, writes (6 October 2010):
Well it sounds like you may like the idea of friends with benefits. but it will not stop at masterbation. you will be opening a door that you cannot close.
This will redefine your boundaries your present friendship with him. If you say no now you may keep your friendship, or may not. But if you say yes he will ask more of his friend.
Sounds like he wants absolutely no commitment or he would not suggest "friends with benefits". Ask him if he has such demanding terms on his male friends.
If you know he uses people why would you consider it. That is like letting a scorpion crawl up your arm. The longer he stay the more likely he will bite.
If you do not wish to be one of many girls then say no.
wish you the best.
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