A
female
age
30-35,
*utter
writes:Hi all,I've fallen in love with a couple of people before, one I'm still sort of infatuated by but I don't think likes me. I really really like him, but he is disinterested, and acts really strange around me. I give him attention but it goes unnoticed, and he snobs and ignores me with his friends, and depending on what I'm wearing etc. On the other hand, there is someone I've known for a while, who I've know likes me. It's the complete opposite, he shows me attention, and talks to me regardless of who he's with which is great, and we're really good friends. I don't feel any chemistry for him though, which is annoying because he's so much nicer than the other guy who I wish I didn't have feelings for. There's a few things I'd like to know, and maybe some of you have been in this situation before so can help me out!1. Is it possible to develop chemistry for someone? Can it happen over time? I'd like to feel the way I feel about the first guy but towards the second guy. We're great friends, he doesn't judge me, and I can tell him about anything. 2. How can I feel so strongly about someone who is so snobby and arrogant? I don't like his personality, but everytime he's actually nice to me, I fall for him again even though I know he'll just ignore me the next time.Thanks,Cutter Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (10 October 2010):
 Chemistry can come over time and does not have to instantaneous. Soem of the best relationships come out of taking the time to get to know someone and realizing how much you two work together although chemistry is not always formed. The second guy seems to be someone who you could really get close to but physical attraction is harder to learn.
I think that you are more lusting after the arrogant guy because of what he stands for of a strickly physical attraction thing. Its hard to really say why we are attracted to some people.
Hope this helps you out.
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