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female
age
30-35,
*.*TrueHelp*..
writes: hello i 14 and still a virgin, by bf is 16 cummin on 17( not a virgin) i reali reali lyk im n we av been totching each other and so on, n he sed e wud neva kiss and tell (all his mates say e wodnt as well) i thinking of losin my virginity to him on valentines day to make it special as this is our 4 months aniversy but the problem is that i dont no wat to do wether to take the lead let im take the lead, to toss him off first of give him head and what do i do about the condom do i put dat on imm plz elp me i dnt wanna look stupid but i really wanna lose it to him on valentines day.
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condom, still a virgin Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, lola manola  +, writes (4 February 2007):
 guys give it a rest! this is supposed to be an agony aunt page not where you can express your own views on others. if shes gunna do it shes gunna do it regardeless of what you lot say. basically chicken if you really want to do this and ure 100% sure then no ones stopping you. everything will come naturally, no ones taught how to do it sweet. be safe though. xxxx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2007): In the USA you can't even go watch a rated R movie, and your asking for sex tips. Aye ya yai!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2007): Lets fast-forward your life for a few months.
Uneducated 14 year old girl, now pregnant and with AIDS.
Rethink that and now if you don’t loose your virginity at 14:
Successful 25year old with a degree in ___ finds true love and starts a beautiful family.
Just an example, you already know what to do.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2007): First; this is not an Instant Messaging bulletin. I believe we would all rather read the whole word spelled out. Acronyms are not spelling for every occasion. And you really sound cheap.
Second: Get your head out of the gutter and be a lady! If this is you at 14, imagine you at 18 and just a tad above. Will you even live to that with out catching an STD?
Have more pride in yourself.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2007): OMG are you crazy!!!
I’m sure your parents or guardians wouldn’t want their 14yr old daughter having sex with some boy. It’s actually Illegal, and dangerous physically, mentally, and spiritually.
What if you catch an STD, or get pregnant?
Yes it could happen EVEN with protection.
You would drop out of school and then what kind of job can you take on to take care of a family at your age? Or worst yet you catch an STD & DIE.
Is your self-esteem so low that you feel you need to give your virginity, body & soul to some kid just ‘cause it’s Valentines?
I don’t know what’s going on with kids now a days, but honey I think you need dose of discipline. How are your grades? Stop living in the today and plan for tomorrow.
I’m not much older than you, but if you were my little sister I’d kick your little behind!
Oh BTW you already know the answer deep down inside, but to make it clear…NO don’t do it!
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A
female
reader, vina_101 +, writes (2 February 2007):
 14 is a bit young to be having sex. 4 months isn't really long ewnough to know a person well. I take it you want to loose your virginity to your boyfriend because you think he's the one? But how do you know that? it's only been 4 months. If you don't even know how to deal with the condom then I don't think you know enough about contraception. If you don't know enough about contraception and what to do with it then you shouldn't be thinking about having sex.
How do you know your boyfriend won't kiss and tell or love you and leave you after he gets what he wants? 4 months is too soon to give it up and 14 is too young to have sex.
Just because your boyfriend wants sex and just because it's valentines day soon does that mean you should have sex? Are those good enough reasons?
Agony aunts below: it's a bit harsh 2 dis her bout da txt tlk coz she wanted help wiv her prob, she didn't want 2 b dissed. but i c wot ur sayin coz wen u write lyk dis it makes ppl fink dat ur uneducated so 2 avoid dat mayb its betta 4 ppl to write in propa english.
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A
male
reader, Ponungalungb  +, writes (2 February 2007):
 Dr. Reality Check,
I think it's the text message generation. I hope that's what it is anyway. Otherwise, it may be a good idea for this writer to spend her spare time in an English class, instead of worrying about tossing off, sucking, and f*cking her bf on Valentine's Day. LOL.
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A
male
reader, Dr. Reality Check +, writes (2 February 2007):
 Speak English please!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2007): honey you should really rethink that- I think you are too young for those emotional consequences.. but really its up to you...I would learn to spell first before I would have sex...
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A
female
reader, Tanyas247 +, writes (2 February 2007):
 I'd ask if you are ready, as well. I'm sure you feel love for him and want to be close to him. This is natural and wonderful! I do want you to be completely comfortable. 14 is really young! Just remember that if you're really ready, you won't be nervous or feel pressured.
As far as details for sex, I'm afraid I'll have to keep quiet. If you are truly ready, it will come naturally. If I were you, I wouldn't plan anything. Let the day happen, have fun, and don't put any pressure on yourself.
Best of Luck
Tanya
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A
female
reader, CarrieMagdelene +, writes (2 February 2007):
 Hey, glad to hear that you're asking for advice instead of wingin' it! :) Since your boyfriend probably knows you're a virgin, and him being experienced, he'll probably take care of putting ont he condom and bringing them.
The most important thing is to remember that it isn't just about him, sweetness, it's about you, too. You only have one virginity, and it's good you've waited to give it to him. :) Ask him to be gentle and take this step-by-step, slowly, to avoid any excess nervousness.
It's best not to have super-high expectations for your first time (pleasure-wise or otherwise). I probably would stick to missionary (him on top) because this is the most comfortable position for a first time girl. From my own experience, I found that after it initially stopped hurting to do missionary (2nd time), that the third time I was planning on having sex with me on top, and it hurt like HECK! This is because his penis is deeper into you that if you were just laying flat on your back with your legs open. Also, a little bleeding is common with your first time because of your hymen tearing or stretching. This is accompanied by some minor (or sharp) pains, which will most-likely gradually fade through out the intercourse.
Also, if you are just getting off your period, it can be sore to do it as well.
And having said all that...:) I think that missionary is the best, and just in case, throw a towel down underneath you if you haven't been using tampons or haven't stretched your hymen in any way (horseback riding, gymnastics, masturbation. Also, the hymen is the 'tight' covering to where your period comes from), and expect some pain. Use a lubed condom (If you aren't on birthcontrol, I recommend TrojanEnz, with spermicide. They're in the blue box.), even if you're on BC. I call this double-controlled my disaster insurance. The condom tears, your BC pills will back you up, but condoms are a must for a lot of virgins to aid in the lubricationing of the act.
Last but NOT LEAST, don't be afraid to ask him to stop or to let you take a breather. If it's too painful, tell him so. :)
Good luck, girlie! Let me know how it goes. -Carrie
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