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I'm 13 years older than him... Is that bad?

Tagged as: Age differences<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 July 2007) 8 Answers - (Newest, 17 July 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, *ockneybabe writes:

is 13 years older bad?

Ive got chatting to a really sweet man but problem is he is 18 and im in my 30's, he wants to met up, im a bit unsure because of the age gap but he looks older then his age.

any advice?

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A female reader, AuntyEm United Kingdom +, writes (17 July 2007):

AuntyEm agony auntAll I have to say about this is 'Steel your wool girl' and be prepared for heartache. Age shouldnt make a difference and for some its true, but mostly its a big factor, especially when the guy is younger. He will change. I don't think there is a guy in the world, who is the same person he was when he was 18.

It's amazing to be flattered in such a way, but eventually he will be straining at the leash to move on. Don't do it to yourself, be patient and find someone your own age.

Good luck

Aunty Em x

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A female reader, cockneybabe United Kingdom +, writes (4 July 2007):

cockneybabe is verified as being by the original poster of the question

cockneybabe agony aunthi everyone

thank you so much for your advice

I still havent met up with him yet, even though he does tell me he wants to, but im just not sure when I will thought :S

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A female reader, DIE-romantic. United Kingdom +, writes (3 July 2007):

DIE-romantic. agony auntAge differences dont matter, as long as the feelings are there. But if he has doubts about the age difference, it wont work out. You both have to be certain. 13 years isnt that much. But like danielepew said, you both have very different perspectives of life at the moment and want very different things. Try it, if it dont work out then you'll know its best not to try it again and stick to people your own age.

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A female reader, A friendly thought Canada +, writes (2 July 2007):

A friendly thought agony auntDear troubled friend,

My advice would be to stop and think about what you are doing. Sure, you may think you love this "boy", but is it all physical attraction, or is there more going on there?

If you truly believe you belong together because your personalities suit each other, then go for it. But if the relationship is only about wanting to "get it on" with a young and handsome kid, then maybe you should rethink the situation.

Evaluate your relationship and make a good decision.

And just a reminder, if he's only in it for the money, then when you die so many years before him, guess who gets it all...?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2007):

hi. im 27 and recently had a similar encounter. even though he was very mature, he was still unsettled. no ways close to a commited, mature relationship. so, it crashed and burned.

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (1 July 2007):

Danielepew agony auntIn principle, age differences should not matter. In this case, I think it does. You're an adult and he's still in his teens. I think his perspective in life is very different from yours. He is not in the same stage of life you are, either. So, I think this could be the problem. Notice that I'm saying COULD; I do not imply that there will necessarily be any problems.

I am not criticizing you, either. I don't think this is bad or wrong in itself; I just want you to notice things as they are.

All this applies if you two, or any of you, wants more than chat. If not, well, why should there be a problem?

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (1 July 2007):

kenny agony auntIt all depends on whether you both have any issues with age, if either of you do then it is doomed to fail. If you both feel strongly for each other then 13 years is not alot atal. After all age is only a number, its really all about how you both feel for each other, not how many years between the pair of you.

Meet up with him, go for a drink and see how it goes, you may be pleasantly suprised.

Good luck x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2007):

He will never be relationship material, but is probably looking for some sexual experiences from an older woman. So if you just want a no strings attached sexual encounter then go for it. But if it is a relationship you're looking for then odds are against it ever working out. Just have some fun, that's what I say!

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