A
female
age
26-29,
*aandaaOlveraa
writes:last night i was talking to my boyfriend, and we were discussing about what will happen when i tell my parents im pregnant. im really scared because my mother and i are still not talking, its constant fighting and yelling, now even in front of my grandparents. and well my dad is in jail at the moment so i dont know if to tell him, or wait until my mom tells him. its all really confusing. can someone please help me???
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2011): Despite any differences that you and your mother have with each other, she's still your mother.
I think you should be upfront and honest with her. Tell her that you need to talk to her alone. Sit down with her and tell her that the reason why you need to speak to her because you need her help.
Explain that you are feeling scared and not sure what to do and that you need her support. Whether you like to admit it not, you WILL need her support. This is a very big issue you're dealing with and if you decide to have the baby, will continue to be for at least the next 18 years.
I don't know what your mother is like but I think you still need to confront her with this issue and let her know that you are relying on her support and help to get you through this hard time in your life.
Discuss the options with her and keep an open mind. Talk to your doctor regarding the options. Don't make any rash decisions without talking about the options.
Having a baby at your age will affect you in many areas of your life. Please keep an open mind and seek help from as many responsible adults as you need before your final decision.
Good luck
A
female
reader, natasia  +, writes (12 December 2010):
 And another idea - do you get on with your doctor? Or, can you find a nice lady doctor to talk to? You could tell the doc first, and get her to help you telling your mom.
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A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (12 December 2010):
How do you get on with your grandmother? Maybe you could talk to her first, if you get on better than with your mum?
I am so sorry you are alone like this, and your dad in prison. How do you get on with your dad? Can you visit him there?
If you get on better with your dad, I almost think you should tell him first.
Your mom doesn't sound very sympathetic at the moment, and you need someone to be kind. What sort of a person is she? Can you talk to her?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2010): I think you should tell her the truth....that you decided to have sex without consulting or asking for her opinion because you knew she would say you are not ready to make decisions for yourself that have such huge implications and consequences. That you made this decision knowing full well you ARE ready and you are just telling her now to prove to her that you are very capable of handling 'big girl' problems and you don't expect her to do anything, just be happy for me as I take care of this in whatever way I think is appropriate. Let her know you don't expect any money from her and if you decide to keep the baby, you'll be finding your own place because you realize it's not her responsibility to raise a child she had no input in.
She'll be pleased that you are such a big girl now :) Good luck to you and your new family :)
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A
female
reader, shnookims  +, writes (12 December 2010):
 It is completely natural not to get along with your parents at this time of your life, ie. your pubescent years but it sounds like your situation is a lot more complicated, even without the fact that you are pregnant.
Have you and your boyfriend decided what your plan of action is? You have options, have you really discussed all of them? You need to tell your mom, knowing exactly what you are going to say and what exactly it is that you want to do. Possibly in a letter.
I think when and who tells your dad depends entirely on your relationship with him.
i know your question isn't about this but on good conscince, I have to say, i don't think you and your boyfriend keeping and raising this baby is a good idea. The situation you family is currently undergoing does not sound like a great place for a child to grow up in.
Find someone to talk to, someone who can help you. it sounds like you really need a good support system. Hope I've helped and good luck.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (12 December 2010):
 Ok you really need to tell your mum soon the longer you leave it the more stressed you are going to be and this is not good for your baby. You need to be in the best of health and stress free.
So sit down with your mum and tell her you have something really important to tell her, now be prepared for her to be shocked, upset, angry and frustrated at you, she may get angry but she will be in shock and worried sick about you so just remember that and dont take to heart what she says to you first of.
Let it sink in and she will soon be able to help you come to terms with it. Also you can visit your doctor or nurse and ask them what your choices are and they can help you come to terms with it.
Goodluck.
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A
male
reader, jrns96 +, writes (12 December 2010):
i have a friend who was pregnant at 13. she aborted. but if ur set on having this baby, it wudd be best for u to tell ur mother b4 it becomes noticeable. if she finds from a different source that ur pregnant, shell proly flip out. if u tell her, theres a chance shell calm down enough to help u. at worst, u get same reaction. but dont wear those belt things to make ur stomach look smaller or anything like that. pushing ur stomach in like that coud cause serious health risks for u nd ur baby. oh and make ur bf promise to stay by ur side thru ur pregnancy nd ur child's upbringing
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