A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hey all im a 13 year old girl and my bf is 20 im a virgin and well this has been my first real bf we have been together 4months and well i want to take it to the next step and have sex. i know he probably will want to as well but im just a bit scared like will it hurt and if he thinks its crap will he leave me etc.? i was just wonderin if you can give me some advice thanks xx Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Katwri  +, writes (20 February 2017):
By the sounds of it he sounds nice but first you should ask yourself these questionsA) why is he really with you? Ask him that question ( btw if he answers with because I love ask him you he loves you if he hesitates for a while or says cheesy stuff then well he is there for something else and may care for u but doesn't love you.B) always be ready to pay the consequenceI used to steal things a lot, anything I could get my hands on really but then one day I was arrested and when my dad picked me up he told me one thing. '' I can't stop u from doing anything, but always remember before u do ANYTHING be ready to pay for its worst consequence''. Now those are the words I live by.why do u like him? If it’s because he wants me or likes me for me NOPE!!!!! Wrong answer! Those r things a child would say and while yes u r a child u r stepping into a serious adult relationship. If u want to skip seven years of your life and date a 20-year-old u have to make up for those seven years u lost and u will forever be behind in life it's just the way or is. it is illegal. He could go to jail and charged with rape. If u don't know much about it research it. It wouldn't hurt.If u truly believe that u should have sex with him after this then I'd say IF HE TRULY LOVES U HE WILL WAIT. I know it's cheesy And so many people say it won't work out but guess what that 19 year old that I had sex with at 13 I'm still dating him but we haven't had sex and won't until I graduate high school next spring because that's when my parents say that it's all good.Girl I say we should all be independent but just remember, parents r there for a reason they love u even when they pick u up from a jail cell or six months in juvie. I lost my mom when I was nine he remarried but her and I don't get along. Now I don't know your story u may only have a dad or only a mom or u may be an orphan but if u have a parent or grandparent there not always going to be there so the time when were young is when we enjoy there company and make the memories that we will cherish and remember once they have passed on. When u r running trying to keep up your other friends u forget to look down at the flowers and out and the sunset. Don't try to grow up to fast or u will miss all the amazing, beautiful, thing in this world that whoever put us here gave us (lol) I hope u soon decide if u haven't already and r to late. Good day or goodnight and I hope u make the choice that u will be able to live with and not look back and regret.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2010): Please please take somw advice from me. When I was 14, I was with a 19 year old. He knew I had reservations about sex and got me drunk in order to get in my pants. I was pretty much blinded by "love" so I stayed with him.It turned out he had a serious girlfriend and I was just a little fling. When I ended it, he bet me up and nearly raped me.I'm not saying that this is what your boyfriend will do. I am very messed up now, mostly because of the sex. I realised after that I wanted to give my virginity to someone I loved who deserved it. Maybe I wouldn't end up married to them or whatever, but I'd still know that we were important to eachother.Now I have nothing for that person. It doesn't matter to him but it does to me.Please don't let this happen to you. X
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2010): wtf girl you should do wht ever you can to get this dude off your back and find your self a 13 year old boy friend he is probaly aye killer you will never no untile it happens to you
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2010): are you stupid???????? all he wants is sex from you. you cannot do this. it is illegal and he is a pedophile. dont do it. dump his ass and tell your parents about him. dont think about you getting in trouble. they can help you. get away from anyone like that. and he will be arrested. you cannot fall for anyone like that. stupid people, especially men but women as well try to lour young girls and boys into having sex. they have sick minds and should burn in hell for what they do.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2010): well, it is illegal for you guys to date anyway. if you want to have sex, go ahead, but just remember he probly wants somthing from you. with somone that old, he might not really like you. and do your parents know about him? if not maybe you shouldnt tell them. but remember to use condoms, even if you havent started your peirod. because they can help against you getting STDs if he has one, if he doesnt, still wear one. i think its a bad desicion, but do wat you want.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2010): I want to add to the previous post that even if you did have sex with him, it would probably hurt like hell and bleed all over the place, because your body is still growing and developing and I don't mean to be crude, but your vagina will still be very tight. Bear in mind that the tighter your vagina is, the better it feels for the guy, which is maybe why he picked someone so young. If he were a good guy he'd leave you alone and find someone a bit older.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2010): If he were decent he wouldn't even consider having sex with you because IT IS ILLEGAL. Seven years age difference is no big deal if you're both adults, but you are a child. At that age, you're not emotionally mature enough for a relationship or sex. Think about it - what else would a grown man want in a 13 year old child? To talk about The Saddle Club and Justin Bieber?... I don't mean to be harsh, but if he seriously cared for you, he would've waited a few years until pursuing you, until you were emotionally (and physically) more mature. Any man who wants to have sex with a child is a paedophile and a pervert, so be careful. I'll bet your parents don't approve of this.
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male
reader, Chris_Hansen +, writes (15 July 2010):
 Hey there.
Have a seat.
Right there, have a seat.
You're only thirteen years old.
Did you know that it's illegal for you to be in that kind of relationship?
Perhaps you've seen the news programs they air concerning pedophiles. This is a very real problem.
I have a log, here.
It says that you said:
"im a virgin and well this has been my first real bf we have been together 4months and well i want to take it to the next step and have sex."
Most of the time men that age are preying on your naivety and innocence. As mature as you think you are, you are still just a child in the eyes of the law and in the eyes of anybody with common sense.
Enjoy being a kid and break up with this guy before things get complicated and highly illegal.
You are too young to be in "love" and you are hardly ready for that next step.
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A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (15 July 2010):
 I'm sorry to sound harsh, but the only reason a 20 year old would want be with a 13 year old is to exploit her inexperience and vulnerability for his own benefit. It's easier for him to manipulate girls your age than girls his age. It's also easier for him to pressure girls your age into having sex, and although you may think you're ready, you really aren't. There's no way you can handle to emotional aspect of sex at your age.
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female
reader, Waiting for an angel +, writes (15 July 2010):
You're jst a kid older man usually only want sex in such small girls like you. Dont do it
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female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (15 July 2010):
 He's 20 years old... if he wants to have sex with you, then he belongs in JAIL!!!! If this guy wants to have sex with you, he's a scumbag, and a pedophile. Stay the hell away from this guy! He has no morals. If he had even the tiniest smidge of decency he would be with aomebody his own age.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2010): Don't do it please...you are going to regrett it for the rest of your life. Older men are after one thing and that's young naïve girls sweety. I've been there done that and now 5 years later I'm still hurting. I dated a 24 year old man when I was 15(I didn't know he lied) but I did know he had a son who was 5. Part of me knew something was wrong but because I was young and wanted the older boyfriend with a car I let it slide. He got he pregant and then everything changed he accused me of cheating and said it wasn't his then he took me to have an abortion at a clinic then left me there. I never saw him again after that. Please listen to me. Now I've been in a great relationship with my bf of 3 years and my experience haunts me everyday. Don't do it to yourself.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2010): I lost my virginity at age 13. DO NOT DO IT.
You think you know what you're doing. But you don't. You think you're in love for real, but you aren't. You think you know what he's thinking, but you don't. You think it's going to last forever, but it won't.
He's too old, anyway.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2010): You should be dating someone your own age. Why would you want to be with someone that is SO much older than you? I agree with the person that said if you are having doubts about him leaving you after having sex with you, then there are some other things that you should be concerned about when it comes to this relationship.... not sex.
Respect yourself and wait. Trust me... you'll appreciate it later on in life!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2010): please do not do this i made a mistake at your age young and thought my o lder boyfriend was great and we endded up having sex and then he left me after i had waste a year with him and he spreaded to hi mates causing my family to find find out and they were extremely mad
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (15 July 2010):
 That is correct what raiders have said. If this man had any morals he would not be dating you, you are way too young for him. Imagine if you had children, would you have let YOUR 13 year old daughter have sex with a 20 year old?
People who care deeply for each other will not leave one another after sex. You even being scared that he might shows that this relationship is nowhere ready for sex, and that this man is not even bothered by the fact that having sex with you is illegal.
Did I mention he can get arrested for this? Yes, it will go on his records and he will be labelled a pedophile.
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male
reader, dirtball +, writes (14 July 2010):
 Yeah he'll leave, for JAIL!!! You're a minor and any man that age who wants to have sex with you is a pedophile.
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female
reader, raiders +, writes (14 July 2010):
 If you have sex with your boyfriend he will be committing a crime and would be arrested and punish for this act.
Why would you be dating a 20 year old he is to old for you and if he had any morals he would not be messing around with you, since your only a child.
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female
reader, midnight juliet +, writes (14 July 2010):
 Hey well heres the honest truth, first of all,yea it probably will hurt.That happens for basicaly everybody.Next,yea there is a chance that he'll leave you.It all depends on how he truely feels about you.Just keep in mind though that your first time probably wont be how you think it will be.Nobodys first time is amazing no matter what they say,so dont believe that lie please.When it all comes down to it just try to think about whats right for you before you decide anything.
Hope I helped,Good Luck
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2010): Believe Me! Don't Do It. Because at the age of 13 you know nothing about whats next to happen. I'm 21 and i thought i would be with my first real boyfriend forever 6 months into it i get dumped and we dont even talk. I hate that I lost my virginity to him. He was 23 i was 16. All older guys want from little girls is sex!!! he should want to be with an older woman so he is perverted! and also wait til your older you wont regret it!
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