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female
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anonymous
writes: Im only 13 and Im going out with my best friend.My mum says im too young for a boyfriend,I don't feel this way,everyone I know has had at least 1 boyfriend even people younger than me!I want to go out with him but Im afraid that my mum will find out!What should I do?
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female
reader, Natalie-x +, writes (8 July 2006):
 This is fact...There is another person in exactly the same situation as you. Me!
My mum doesn't want me to get a boyfriend till Im 17, (Im 14 just now) and Im going to respect her wishes. Dont try to go out with someone behind her back. I've done that, and my longest realtionship last 2 weeks! And that was my only boyfriend and it wasn't even real!
I felt so bad about lieing to my mum, and she's not only my mum, she's my best friend too! Wait untill your mum feels she can let her little girl grow up. You're still her baby! And I'm still my mum's baby. And I like it that way.
You're going to be having exams and emotionally comfusing stuff coming up soon, a boy on your mind is the last thing you'll need. Listen to my advice and understand why I 've said it. Sorted!
A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (27 June 2006):
 I agree with all the Aunts who've given their advice here; you're too young to be dating. You want to know how I know that? In your letter there's something very important missing: any comment about how you feel about your boyfriend! Your letter is about *you*, trying to 'keep up' with your friends and their dating-lives! So, you're not going out with him because he's special to you and worth the wrath of your mum when she finds out? Actually, it sounds a lot like you're doing this to impress your peers, and that's not a mature-minded reason for disobeying your parents.
And here's one more point that you might not have thought of:
By sneaking around dating someone, you're destroying any trust your mum might have had in you. And Trust is the one thing you need to demonstrate in order to gain your mum's support for you dating!
In other words, you're shooting yourself in the foot and making it *much less* likely that she'll accept you're old enough and mature enough to date.
Eventually your mum will find out. They always do, because you live in a community full of friends who know you. Word will get back to Mum, and then you'll have a much harder time convincing her of your trustworthiness.
I suggest that you and your boyfriend cool off for now. Listen to your mum; she's trying to keep you out of trouble and keep you safe until you're old enough to make wise decisions for yourself. And dating a guy to impress your friends isn't a wise decision!
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A
female
reader, sugar29 +, writes (27 June 2006):
 i think you should do what you feel is best. if you really like this boy then you should talk to your mum and tell her how you feel. i don't think 13 is too young to start dating. it's deffinately an age where people want to. its totally up to you what you do. just remember you don't want to upset your mum. x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2006): Dear, I think you should listen to Mom's rules and stay close to your family and keep building the trust. This is so important, in the life of a teenager and her family. Trust tells your Mom, you can make good life choices for yourself. If Mom has a 'no dating' rule, she likely has concerns and worries for you because she does deeply love you. Peer pressure to date is something, many teenagers get caught up in, thinking perhaps, they should date..just to impress friends. Please understand a teenager should have good quality, nice friends that respects her and her family rules. It matters not that your friends have dated..it sounds like they may have parents that are too busy to care and may have difficulty guiding them,.in making good decisions. Your Mother isn't doing this. She has set a rule in place and you need to respect Mom. Please don't sneak out and date behind her back. Think of how hurt she will be if she hears you are dating from someone else. I am sure it will hurt her to hear you have been untruthful, but it is even more important that she continue trusting you. Remember, trust is earned through mature, respectful behaviours. I would be be honest with Mom about your feelings and perhaps, you and she can reach a compromise over this dating issue. Perhaps she might agree to a special friend coming over, to visit with you, in your home with supervision. Hun, always be open and truthful, even when the truth is difficult. Bf's will come and go in your life, but family is precious.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (27 June 2006):
 You should listen to your mother. She has your best interests at heart. Trust your mother's instincts. I know you will not like my advice, but there it is. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2006): its always best to listen to your mum. dont make a mistake like 1000 off ather girls .listen to mummy.
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