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female
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anonymous
writes: I have a boyfriend,but I dont really feel for him.I'm pretty sure he likes me,but I dont like him(In that way)! I dont know any other boys to him and I'm afraid if I break it off I'll never get a boyfriend!What should I do,Is it natural to feel this way? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2006): Who cares if you have another bf to date? If you're dissatisfied with your bf for whatever reasons, do the dignified, compassionate thing and just cut him loose. Friendships are important. But...being sooo wrapped up in the dating scene can prevent a you from developing real quality friendships, which will be with you for life. Additionally, getting caught up in the dating scene displaces the more important things. Dear, these teen years are the final staging grounds for progressing into independent adulthood. A young person like yourself, who is much too preoccupied with one romantic relationship after another is going to miss out on a lot of the education, as well as on the maturity that comes from intellectual effort. Date and have fun, just remember, you have a future ahead of you. Have fun and enjoy being a happy young person. Dating can help to build self-esteem, can help teens figure out who they are and can teach social skills so I view dating as a form of shopping around, especially at your age. I encourage abstinence because if you are dating for fun, a sad fact of nature is that sexual intimacy creates emotional intimacy: Each romantic relationship takes something from a person’s heart, and each relationship broken, leaves a scar. So I suggest you enjoy the company of interested boys, but always stay real and honest to yourself. Understand any type of healthy relationship, including friendships, are based on trust, respect and caring and not to cause pain to others. Being able to identify and be in healthy dating relationships is a very important skill for young people, like yourself, to learn. Take care and have fun.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2006): You sound like you're in your early to mid teens.
See what I mean??!?! Majority of teens date because everyone else is doing it. That's so retarded. Yeah, so my friends all love to shave their heads and so I must do that too. Everyone smokes and so I should do that too. All the popular kids are wearing bandanas, must get one for myself...
[coughs up blood]
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2006): Hey you're treating this guy like the latest 'must have accessory'. This guy is a person with feelings not a gucci handbag that you can wear today and ooh if I see a better one tomorrow then I'll buy that. Let him go and find his soulmate.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2006): Actually that is more normal than you know. I have male and female friends who have gone through the same things. There are several steps to a simple solution. First how old are you? If you are very young like high school, you have plenty of time. If your are in your 20's or older you need to re-evaluate yourself and ask why you are not attracted to him. His attitude? Looks? Like a brother? If you can answer that, why not try to do things to get to know him more. Go out with friends as individuals. If before the day/night is over, you see it going no where, tell him. No one deserves to be used as an escape goat. Ask yourself how would you feel in his shoes? Besides you don't want to go through life saying what if. You might just let Mr. Right slip away because of your fear to be alone. Hope this helped you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2006): When we look to humans – the finite and imperfect – to satisfy our desperate need for the Infinite and Perfect, is it any wonder that we end up so emotionally starved that we almost suck the life out of our partner and are still left utterly frustrated and unfulfilled? God offers each of us a banquet of love so vast that we could feast on it for a million years and still have as many untasted delights ahead of us as when we began. Our tragedy is that God seems to us so distant and unreal that, instead of feasting on the Infinite, we become hooked on trying to force out of human relationships satisfaction that no one less than God can give. The ecstasy of romantic love might, for a while, drug an awareness of our craving for divine love, but as a pet dog cannot fill our need for perfect love, neither can a marriage partner.... or boyfriend for that matter.
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male
reader, Dr. Reality Check  +, writes (27 June 2006):
 That's incredibly selfish of you. You cant just play with his emotions and lead him on until something better comes along. Do the right thing and let him find true love as opposed to you leading him on. That's so unfair to him.
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A
female
reader, Wendyg +, writes (27 June 2006):
 Sounds as though you may not be in to him, or its early days and a lot can happen over a period of time between two people. Must have been something that attracted you to him ? or was it everyone else had a boyfriend and you didnt and he was around at the time ? If you really dont feel anything for him and dont think you will then there is no point really being with him, as you are wasting his time stopping him from finding somebody, plus he could be falling for you. Also your holding yourself back from finding someone. I know your young and most around you probably have a boyfriend, but its no use hurting someone by staying with them just to be in with the rest of the crowd it really wouldnt be fair. I suggest you have a chat with him and let him know that things are not working as you would have hoped. But dont keep the poor bloke hanging in there just because your scared of being single.
Take care x
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