A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My question is: Once people have moved on do they ever really come back? Have their feelings gone forever, or could there still be a chance?If someone has moved on from someone else because of fear (scared of developing a relationship), their past history which could involve people making situations hard and also neither person being confident enough within the relationship, and then they move on and get with someone else, will they ever come back? Or could even be because they were genuinely confused.Even if it has been many years and then suddenly they cut you out their life for no reason, does that mean their feelings have completely gone.Some people get bfs and gfs to try and get over someone I believe, I'm unsure if this is really true. But once someones moved on and got a new bf/gf will they still have feelings for their ex/person they used to like deep down or will they ever develop those feelings again?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (7 February 2013):
 Once I've moved on, I'm done. IN fact, I've never known anyone in my life to backtrack to someone... we are wise enough to know it usually doesn't work out the second time either..
I know of a woman right now how who is in the throes of a second divorce from the same man... divorced him once... remarried him, divorcing him again...
Didn't work for Liz Taylor and Richard Burton.\
Didn't work for Don Johnson and Melanie Griffith
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (7 February 2013):
 I'd say most of the time if someone chooses to end a relationship, then the feelings have already started to go. To break up with someone there must be a good reason to do so, no-one goes through that kind of pain for fun. So if there is already a good enough reason to break up with someone then their feelings have clearly started to go or have changed.
Once a period of time has passed then any feelings they have for their ex fade, and if they meet someone new chances are their feelins for their ex have almost completely gone and they want to focus on something new.
If you look at me for example - I'm 25, and I have had 5 serious long term (longer than 1 year) relationships. Do I have feelings for any of them? No. Do I want to get back with any of them? No. Could I ever develop feelings for them again? Most of them no, perhaps with one or two maybe. Do I have any feelings for them still 'deep down'? No. I have moved on, I'm very happy with my current partner and we are planning on getting engaged later this year, so I definitely have moved on to find the right guy for me, and all of the guys in the past were wrong for me!
However I do know of 1 story - keep in mind I have never heard of this happening before so this is a RARE occurrence! A friend of a friend went out with a guy for over a year I believe, this was about 4 years ago when they were much younger (about 21). They broke up, went out with other people, didnt speak to each other at all and completely moved on. By chance they saw each other 4 years later on a night out, said hello and were friendly etc. Both of them happened to be single at the time, got chatting and swapped numbers. Now they have been dating again for about 6 months I think.
However the reason this happened was because they had grown up A LOT since the last time they were together, they had changed massively and were very different people to who they were back then hence why the relationship seems to be working better second time around.
But keep in mind this is very rare and hardly ever happens!
It seems to me your question is based on your own situation, am I right in thinking you have an ex who has now moved onto someone new and you are hoping one day he will come back to you?
If this is the case, then you are wasting your time I'm afraid. As with my story above, the two people both moved on, met new people and basically didnt think about each other at all for 4 years. They only got together again by chance, neither one of them was sat around waiting in the hope they would meet their ex again!
If you sit around waiting in hope that your ex is going to come back to you, then you are just wasting your life waiting for someone who is probably not right for you. Taking me as an example, I wouldnt ever want to get back with my ex's - we split up for good reasons, and we were not compatible (I may not have been able to see that at the time because I was young and naieve, but eventually you can look back and see they were not right for you).
Moving on is a very important part of the healing process after a break up, you need to move on and forget all about your ex otherwise you will just waste your life hoping for something that probably wont ever happen.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2013): Each person and situation is different. I do believe that some people move on and in the future when the time is right they can come back in that person's life and feelings develop again and they can make it work, but it is rare. The majority of the time when it is over, the relationship is over and feelings do not develop again or return. It depends on whether the people are meant to be or not. The thing is if a relationship ends and someone move's on the only choice left to the other person is to get on with life and move on themselves, and trust that it will work out the way it is meant to work out. I hope this helps answer your question.
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