A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I dunno about you lot, but I find 'forbidden love' hard to understand. There are natural problems such as 'unrequited' and 'already taken' which cannot be helped.However i see it as unnecessary to put a law on student-teacher relationships. And pointless that religions come between Love also.If you really love someone, and they love you too - can't you just be with them. Love is the most powerful and wonderful thing yet there has to be rules/laws involved. why? Most relationships aren't complicated but in a minority of cases, they are! I for one, would love to be with the man i desire But i can't cos he's a teacher!!!Life would be so much easier if 'forbidden love' didn't exist, it makes people feel depressed, isolated, lonely and in some cases, suicidal. I'll probably get some tough answers back, but surely some of you find 'forbidden love' unecessary too?
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2008): I have to agree with Phil, if there were no laws about love etc of course we would all degenerate into a totally moral-less society and no one would have any respect for anyone.
You are young, and in years to come you will see that you are looking at this subject through rose-tinted spectacles (meaning that you cant yet appreciate all the problems associated with the view you have of your ideal world).
I must have had a crush on about 9 teachers through my school years, and i dont just mean passing feelings either. If ANY or ALL of these men had acted on the signals they were getting from me back then there is no doubt about the fact that i would have been taken advantage of sexually throughout my school days. I was just not old enough to know any better. All school children have fantasies about their teachers, its healthy and its natural, but fantasies they should remain and let the grownups make the laws.
A
female
reader, honkifuluvnicole  +, writes (2 January 2008):
 Girl, I am right there with you on this one.I feel that love and feelings are bigger than the law.People put us down for wanting our teachers, when really it is just love and following what our HEARTS desire.Its hard because society puts strict laws on what relationships are allowed, and which ones arent. It hurts because that doesnt allow us to have much freedom. Or our hearts.You cannot put laws on feelings, or what our hearts want, so why take it away from us?I just want you to know that i TOTALLY agree with you.xo
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2008): There's usually a reason for it, although I agree with you that two people of different religions should not be prevented from having a relationship. Religion of one sort or another accounts for most of the wars in this world. Certain violent organisations hide behind it. That's just one of the many reasons that I shy away from it.
A relationship between a student and a teacher is, on the face of it, ok, but obviously the student involved with his or her teacher could easily be accused of being favoured in the classroom, being given better grades than the rest of the class and all that sort of thing. The teacher could easily be accused of taking advantage of a student by way of good grades in exchange for sexual favours. The teacher/student relationship isn't so much 'forbidden love' as unethical and fraught with complications love.
From all the questions on here about student/teacher 'relationships' and all the 'I'm in love with my teacher' questions, it seems to me that half the student population is in love with one teacher or another. But think about it - how many teachers post on this site asking for advice because they say they are in love with a student? I think I've seen one - against dozens from infatuated little girls - and that was probably a hoax anyway!
I would consider 'forbidden love' to be that between mother and son, father and daughter, aunt and nephew, uncle and niece etc. - in other words inbreeding and the resultant possible birth defects in children of such a union. I rule out priests and congregation in the forbidden love category, because to my mind a vow of celibacy is totally unnatural and often broken.
If 'forbidden love' didn't exist the human race would most probably revert to the laws of the jungle where it would be a sexual no-holds-barred existence, as far as that was concerned, instead of civilisation as we now accept it.
Try to look at the wider picture and the consequences of total sexual freedom. We're far better off as we are, maintaining the status quo.
Phil
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A
female
reader, Minelisse  +, writes (2 January 2008):
 Societies shouldn't have to make laws for people to behave as they should. However, sometimes people don't make the best choices possible and/or hurt other people in the name of their own interests... this is where laws come in.
Loving or feeling in love with a teacher is not bad, I think it is even common for most people through their teens. However, this teacher has had a lot more experiences in life than the ones you have had. He has had the opportunity to meet girls and have relationships with them, to drink, to party, to have a college degree, he might even have children or get married. The thing is you haven't had all of those experiences, and although it might be difficult for you to see right now, you deserve to have them and the law is securing your right to do so! If after being a little more mature and graduating from high school you still have these feelings, then you would be able to act upon them and the law is not opposing to that!
You see... not having so many experiences in life might make you choose your teacher... but the truth is you haven't had the chance to really explore your options as far as men (just other "boys" in school). So, when you are a bit more mature (believe me life experiences will make you more mature) you can choose, you are almost there. However, give yourself the chance to see beyond this high school teacher and enjoy these teen years as a teen. You will grow older, we all do, and we look back at those years and kinda wish we were back there for a while. Enjoy being worry free... no car or house payment due next month!!
Best of lucks!
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