A
male
age
36-40,
*_w_b08
writes:I've been married for 3 years now and no longer love my wife... I believe I am still with her only because I don't want to see her fall again before we were married... I rushed into this marriage only knowing her for 2 months and I work out-of-state sometimes. I've never cheated on her with another woman and have done everything that I possibly could to make her happy, but she doesn't make me happy... I work and handle everything while she is at the house and doesn't even wake up till the afternoon and out with her friends till the night... My sister-in-law is in the same situation: Her husband is a deadbeat who doesn't work at all and she works a full time job just to get by. She has 2 wonderful kids who I love to death (They are 3 and 4). I feel that I am being taken advantage of all the time and don't want to go home for this reason... The only reason that really brings a smile to me is knowing that at least I'll be able to see my sister-in-law once I actually get home... My wife's sister and I haven't ever talked about this, but we both feel the connection between each other... We both go out of our way to make each other happy and I want to do everything in my power to be there for her... My wife has it good and my sister-in-law is struggling with life, although she has managed to handle everything that has been thrown out at her so far... I would support her and she would support me and we would support each other in every aspect that is possible. My question to you all is, if you love somebody would you be with them no matter what it takes? or would you continue in the same day-to-day acts of not being truly happy? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, UnfinishedSymphony  +, writes (8 January 2009):
 What a tough cookie of a question. There seems to be no apparent, obvious solution. No comprimise or in a matter of fact no right or wrong answer. Make the other half remain happy by maintaining a marriage which lacks the ticking of many boxes in your criteria to what a marriage should be for YOU. Or, be truthful to YOURself. Its not a spur of the moment feeling you have, you've been pondering this feeling for some time. I really do stress the YOU part in this. My mum has been married to my dad for 30 years. To be quite blatently honest and frank, shes a party chick and would definitely beat me to the dance floor at any given time! My dad on the other hand, is a bland man. I sometimes just look at them together and think why? I guess my mum wants to be frantically unleashed from my dad...and my dad well he manages? If you know your not in love with her (and never will be) and you have made all the power to turn this relationship around for the good...then my advise to you, is talk it over with her and tell her what you think should be done. Afterall, for both of your sakes...happiness cant be forged..love in marriage has to be from both people.
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