A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Guys, if your dating someone, is it a turn off to know the girl has had a few one night stands? and a 'friends with benefits' relationship? or is it not that a big of a deal?
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female
reader, Fiona xxx  +, writes (8 April 2009):
 You have not been specific about numbers and circumstances. However over time the same person can change their outlook and views. Just because you have had a couple of one night stands recently or whenever, doesn't mean you cannot be faithful to Mr Right when you meet him.
Chances are when you meet a guy and it's long-term and you head towards marriage... surprisingly you'll probably find that he's had a couple of one night stands in the past too.
I do agree that it helps if you have been in a similar situation to each-other. i.e. that you have both got this out of your system and you want to commit to each-other.
As I say guys only seem to be limited by when a girl says no, and for all we know a guy we meet could have had the chance to have far more sex, if only other girls agred.
I think we all start with the ideal that we won't do one night stands and it's better if you have known eachother for a while. However for those guys who replied and said you don't do one night stands; how do you know you wouldn't if it was offered on a plate to you? That's the situation that us girls are put in, where sex is readily available and tempting and yes guys do offer sex to us on a plate.
Fiona.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2009): Yes, big turn off. Fine (even great!) for GF material, but not wife material. In a relationship, well, ok, but a slut - deal breaker for serious relationship. There is a double standard, and there should be, because men and women think about sex differently... just a fact. Men getting laid in college is "hey, good one!" because men want/need sex all the time; women get to choose men... different playing field.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2009): Respect her and don't judge her for past sexual decisions. You may not agree with her decisions, but they were hers to make and not yours.
And also respect yourself. Don't continue a relationship with someone who does not share your sexual values if this is important to you.
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A
male
reader, passionatelynumb +, writes (24 March 2009):
 Yes, its a big turn off for me.
I wouldn't want to be with someone who treated sex so cheaply and flippantly.
But that's only me. I've never pursued women for a one night stand. I've always wanted there to be a relationship first.
I would want to be with a women who respects that intimacy as much as I do.
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (24 March 2009):
 For some people it is, for others it isn't. Only you know if you can cope with it, if you can't then whatever you do don't make it her fault. It's all on you: either deal or don't.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (24 March 2009):
Why would you know?
It's always best not to know because men seem to have massive issues with the fact that all the girls they meet aren't virgins.
This question is asked so often.
If you want a virgin then go and find one. If you find a girl you love and who's great in bed, then you are happy with the end product. It doesn't matter how it was made.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, blackcompulator +, writes (24 March 2009):
yes it is a turn off. But everyone is different. Some people won't care some people do care. the reason why i care is because i have never done it. So i would like to find someone who is similar to me in that aspect. we were all raised differently and we all have different views on it. Its all up to the people involved.
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