A
female
age
51-59,
*osypopp
writes:I've been trying to get together with my ex. I've written him several times to express that I would like to hook-up. When he did call he talked about all the troubles and drama he was having with his girlfriend but that he still wanted to get together that weekend, Saturday to be exact. Well Saturday night came, he didn't show nor has he called. Should I call him and still try to pursue him or should I let him do the calling and pursuing now and if he decides to call should I ask why he stood me up?
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2009): Rosy, As a fully grown adult female, I honestly think you know what to do here. Judging from your 2nd followup posting-it appears that a good jolt of rationale and reality is coming to the fore front here. Any guy that is keeping you hanging as his back-up girl,is not worth it.
So you have our blessing, for any way you deem it necessary to getting this parasitical male out of your life. Tell him not to call, block him on your e-mail and get out there and whoop it up, girl...preferably with a guy who has NO baggage and doesn't flit from relationship to relationship, making babies and acting like a hormonal adolecsent male. Now go--and find a man who treats you well andmakes you his number one lady!Good luck and look out for yourself!
A
female
reader, rosypopp +, writes (24 March 2009):
rosypopp is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthis all sounds like great advice. just really needed an outsiders insight. definetly going to back away from this man. what do i do if he trys to contact me? ignore the call or explain i'm not interested anymore?
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A
female
reader, rosypopp +, writes (24 March 2009):
rosypopp is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni realize that he has a girlfriend that's why i haven't tried to call him. but he did leave me to believe that we were going to meet. and if he had second thoughts why not call to say just that. and what if he calls me? what should i say? and what if he starts talking about his awful girlfriend again? what kind of game is this man playing? he's 46 and has five children from three different women. the current girlfriend has a two year old by him. and in our conversation he expressed how unhappy he was with her. so again why did he make plans then not show? am i wasting my time or should i pursue him a little more?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2009): Did I read this right? He has a girlfriend?? Do not call him..you don't have the right to do that! Why are you trying to interfere in his relationship with another woman here? And why is he 'leading you on' like this? Plainly, he may really love this woman he is dating and is trying to work through the problems they are going through. And I think all you are to him, is a sounding board. You appear to be a person who is lacking some insights, some clear thinking and maybe is not using a lot of self-control. You have to use your head-you don't always go with your heart. It's okay to have feelings but use some common sense with those feelings. Especially when you clearly know that these behaviors you and this guy are doing..will hurt another person, not to mention yourself. it sounds like you are getting re-engaged emotionally with this fellow and I am warning you..you may get dearly hurt. So I will repeat...this guy is probably just simply just flirting with you and if his gf is angry with him..he's acting needy. Discern his behaviors here. Don't you think if he wanted to be with you, he would've told his gf 'bye-bye' and he'd be dating you, by now? And even if he did..what kind of guy would do that to someone he cares about? Don't you question his character and his lack of self-control as well? If he's doing this to his gf...don't you think he's could do it you, if he hasn't already.. Would you ever trust him? Avoid him at all costs. It may be hard to do at work, but you can control your feelings and actions, if you want to. It's called the 'freedom of choice' on how we behave and it takes strength and character. You can become something more to yourself, but only through your own honest efforts. Don't impose yourself, on another female's turf. Leave them alone and if this guy wonders why you aren't being his 'emotional crutch'...you tell him that isn't you role in this melodrama. tell him to give you a call...when he and this gf call it quits and he's healed and recovered. Protect yourself here...I think you are heading down a painful path!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2009): definately stop calling. if he wants you, he can chase you.
and if he calls, def ask him why he stood you up!
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