| A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: I would really like to know from guys...If your girlfriend/partner/wife is like really hot,(And i mean not only you think so, but other guys as well!) do you still need to look at porn? Or is she enough?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2009): Hi all,
I still don't get it. My partner and I have been together for nearly 4 years and I've just moved in with him and his parents while our house is being built and I've discovered that since I've moved in, (first time living together) he's watched more porn and gotten himself off more times than we've actually had sex.
I really don't understand...it makes me think that there's something wrong with me or he's not attracted to me or over it. I always try to initiate things however he pushes me away and he's done it so many times I'm beginning to take it personally and feel really rejected at times. I've tried to spice things up by buying nice lingerie, different positions, sending provocative messages before he gets home and the rest of it. I just don't get it???
I have asked a few guy friends of mine what they think about it and all they've said is that he's an idiot, as their girlfriends aren't really into sex as much as they are.
I know that I'm not unattractive, and he tells me he loves how I look, thinks I'm beautiful, loves my breasts blah blah blah, yet he still goes and watches porn and wanks, as opposed to having sex with me, even when I try to initiate it. And I'm not saying this to sound up myself or whatever, but I've had lots of other guys ask me out since we've been together and every time we go out clubbing I get hit on. I really don't get it. It's seriously doing my head in. Just makes me think he doesn't want me anymore. ????
A
male
reader, theboythatcriedhotgirlfriend  +, writes (26 August 2009):
 If i was with meagan good(who by the way is shortie ever) would i still watch porn...yeah definately. U watch porn cos its enjoyable not necessarily to compensate for a lack of hot chick. Heck i might even watch with her, spice things up a little.
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A
female
reader, jstdunno  +, writes (18 August 2009):
I'll tell you as a girl it has nothing to do with the partner, I watch porn and my boyfriend is a 6'3 180lb lifegaurd. Yum!
But I defy you to look at a picture/film of Charles Dera and not be turned on! And then you'll see how your man feels.
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A
male
reader, Beingblack +, writes (18 August 2009):
 The reasons that men look at porn are many and varied, hence there are many and various different types of porn that attract men.
Very often, a man in a sexual relationship has a certain 'favourite' sexual act, or position, something that is absolutely guaranteed to turn him on. Much the same as a woman does. For this particular answer, lets say that as a man, I like doggy style. The chances are that I will watch porn of 'doggy style' action, given the opportunity.
It really doesn't matter how 'hot' my girlfriend is, I will always be turned on by doggy style sex, either with her, watching it, or thinking about it. And hence, because I know it's available and I can watch it, by doggy style porn.
The argument is that by watching porn, I am being disrespectful to my partner. Why watch an actor banging an actress from behind, when I have a hot girlfriend willing and able to satisfy me? I should be getting turned on by her, and by her alone. A truly valid argument.
Now wonder women feel that somehow they are not enough for their men.
I think that men and women need to communicate far more about porn. While many men think it is harmless, many women feel completely threatened to the point of feeling cheated against. Less porn please men, more attention to your woman. And women, TRY to stress a little less over porn ..... men are not looking at the actress much, just the action. But communication is the answer!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2009): For me at least, porn has nothing to do with how hot my wife or the women in porn are. My wife is better looking and has a nicer body than a lot of the women in porn, but we still watch it and enjoy it. We even did that shortly after we started dating. Remember, not all the women in porn look like Jenna Jameson. Some are not very good looking at all.
Porn is not normally used to fantasize about having sex with a better looking woman than what you have. It is entertainment and to fantasize about doing things that you and your partner don't do or don't like. It is fantasy. A guy might fantasize about being with Jenna or with some average or below average woman. A woman might also fantasize about having sex with a porn star with a 9 inch dick or getting gangbanged by 10 guys. It's not something that she would actually ever do, even if she had the chance. Well, maybe the 9 inch dick. :)
It is a mistake to compare yourself to the women in porn. Take a look at the women in the amateur porn. Amateur porn is very popular. Most are average, some are great looking and some are not what a guy would want to wake up to. Porn is no different than an action movie. It is no different than a guy imagining he is James Bond getting laid by every woman we meets or fighting off all the world's bad guys.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2009): Well that depends. It it's a new relationship, you're really sexually compatible, totally into each other, and there's nothing stopping you from having sex as much as you want? Ya, then he probably could do without porn.
It's not just a question of appearance -- not that totally hot isn't very nice indeed. It's also a question of how long you've been together, if you're getting bored with each other sexually, the partners' respective attitudes, whether kids/jobs/life are getting in the way, etc. And of sexual dynamics -- if she's really demanding in the bedroom, a quick, selfish wank with some porn can seem appealing.
Hope that helps.
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