A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Alright so Ive been dating this guy for a year and nine months, today we broke up. We have been having problems the last couple of months arguing over pointless things such as him not wanting to cuddle at night and why he was on his phone with his friends the entire time he was with me but when hes at his friends he cant make time to return my calls or texts because hes playing madden. I frequently would ask him if he was gay and break down into tears because I was doing the best I could, other than blowing up when something upset me. I became more aggressive with the situation because he started lying to his friends saying he had to help his parents with things so he couldn't hang. It made me wonder "Am I not worthy enough to spend time with you when it comes to your friends". His response was "That's how I get them to leave me alone". He started having these mood swings of 'I don't care' and being numb to everything when it came to me. A couple of days go I found some emails of him talking to this girl, he was seeing her behind my back not necessarily cheating. I confronted him with the situation and he said they were friends if anything. Today he found that I had kind of flirted with two other guys in the past by going through my emails. He sent me a text saying "I cant believe you. You basically cheated on me. I saw what you and---- talked about. Dont ever talk to me again". He called me and I told him we had both hurt eachother and the damage is done and he said "I just dont care anymore". So I asked him why he bothered calling and then we said bye. Later I texted him asking if we could eventually have a friendship and he replied "Yeah but im still upset with you and you're obviously upset with me" I told him "Not at all", he said "ok." and I left it at that.I just want an opinion from an outsider, do you think if we ever do have a friendship we could possibly get more than a friendship back?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Another_Kapiti  +, writes (15 November 2009):
 Relationships are all about trust. Emailing other people whilst in a relationship, isn't cheating unless you or he ended up meeting these people whilst you were dating!
I'd say for now, just bide your time, be friends and maybe something will eventuate.
I'm not trying to be condescending, just remember you're both young and will fall in and out of love a lot before you settle with one person. Talk to your close friends and bounce your feelings off of them, after all who knows you best?!
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