A
male
age
36-40,
*onerstranger21
writes:hello! i just red an article here so i just decided to make my account, hoping i would have a much better judgment or opinions. The thing goes, I met a girl which is my classmate "MISS D" (college) at first we didn't speak to each other that much.Until one night, the last day before our vacation. I was invited by my friend (which is also my classmate) to have a beer and just hang out at the bar. I got drunk that night and it gave me the courage to text this girl "MISS D" if i could have a drink with her at her dorm. She said yes so we, with my friend got to her dorm and had it. That night, something happened to us. I don't know if she's drunk too, 'cos she only had a couple of shots. Then that's where it starts, we're always together,hanging out at her dorm, literally, i stayed there for about 6 straight months, but still paying my dorm fee at my own dorm. That time, she confessed that she had a boyfriend, who is on another country, had a job, but, she said they're having a bad time with their relationship. Still, we moved on,one day she said her bf left her, yeah its good for me though.Months passed, then her ex came out of nowhere, called her , text her, begging for another chance.She confessed to him that she loves me,and I'm important to her. The guy got mad of course, then send me a message cursing me.I didn't reply, because on first hand,I actually stole his gf, so i don't have the right to fight back.Another month have passed, I thought her ex left us alone, my gf said that her ex already had a new girl. I felt relieved by that news, then one time, her ex called her again, telling that its just a play, he really doesn't have a new girl and was just trying to make her jealous. We had a fight after that confession, because i told her to cut all of the strings attached to her ex, I even told her to change her number she always says yes but she couldn't just do it.Now she has two cellphones, one for the number she uses communicating with me, and the old one (the number that her ex is calling).I just don't get it. she said she loves me than her ex.But i think he could not let him go.She couldn't cut the number where her ex is calling.We had a fight when I knew that her ex called her and she answered it, she told me that he is begging for a chance, crying, telling her that he is so so tired of doing things just to get her back,making himself a poor little thing for my girl's love..Then my girl said that she might want to give him a chance, but what if they didn't work out again, what if she loose me,and that the fear is there if she would ever give him a chance because she would realize that she really don't love him anymore.. It sooo hurts me..I decided to let her go, with him...I told her your conscience is killing you. Taking me on even if you two don't have the formal break up..Her parents liked the guy, but she told me she's not allowed to have a boyfriend,but her parents liked her ex.. what the?..they know he is her boyfriend.. yeah..Today, she came here at my house, after our class, (I was unable to go to class because i have cough and colds)..And i still don't get it.. She still calls me "mine"..She says She loves me..That made me crazy! Im thinking, "If she really loves me, she would've completely cut the strings attached to her ex and would've said that she might like to give him another chance"...Heart vs Brain?.. Please help me!
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male
reader, lonerstranger21 +, writes (17 June 2010):
lonerstranger21 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks LolaCherryCola! What you said was a big help! i am somehow, able to get this thing of my chest.Now I know what I should do. yeah, maybe I should go one step back and try to save our friendship. I should give her time, myself too. Thanks!
A
female
reader, LolaCherryCola  +, writes (17 June 2010):
Have a little sympathy for the poor girl. She may really not know which one of you she loves.It's hard for anyone to let go of their first love. If this guy had parental approval and was her first real boyfriend, it would be especially difficult. Add to the mix that they have a shared history and all she's hearing from him now is how much he wants her back, and you have a recipe for a reunion.You should probably just be friends until she figures it out. Don't pressure her to, just tell her that you don't like being in a love triangle -- it's unfair to you. You sound like a pretty thoughtful guy, so you probably know how to handle it well. I find that it's always better not to burn the bridge, because you never know, you know? You two might end up back together, or you may need her help with something later on down the line (especially if you are in school together and remain friends).If it's meant to be, it will be. In the meantime, just enjoy college!
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