A
female
age
30-35,
*shley Rae
writes:Im not sure if it is just 17 year old logic or what, but my mom is putting me on birth control, because she doesnt want me to get pregnant before I am ready. I have had a pregnancy scare before, but the test said I wasnt pregnant and life went on. She decided that it was time that I get put on birth control because she found out that we werent using any protection. I believe everything happens for a reason. It is how my mom raised me, nothing happens without something else up ahead. So the way that I believe it, If I am SUPPOSED to be pregnant, it doesnt matter what I do to avoid it I will get pregnant, If I am not supposed to be pregnant no matter how hard I try, I wont be. So putting me on birth control is just going to make the insurance pay for something that might not even work. If it was like going to planned parenthood and paying a dollar for 4 condoms then yeah I can see that. But paying for me to take a pill everyday that has a higher failure rate than old fashioned condoms what is the point. If it is going to happen it will, if its not, then it wont! Does that make sence to anyone other than my 17 year old unexperienced mind or is that logical?
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2009): You control where you are in life and where you are going, in front of you lies different roads hundreds of them, and you have choices will determine on which path you end up, see it like you are a 17 year old girl, you are standing in front of two boards, 1 have sex 2 don’t have sex, so you now have to chose which one you want to take but you need to look a bit further before making that choice board 1.1 get pregnant board 2.1 have a great childhood, and so the boards will go on and on and on but the choice will be yours all the time, every action has a reaction my dear, and the way you are thinking right now will only get you into trouble, listen to your mom, follow her advice, she knows better than you.
Good luck
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2009): Listen to your mother who knows what she is doing where you, on the other hand, do not appear to. Contraceptives are there to prevent you getting pregnant, and moreover pills can be extremely effective in comparison to condoms as someone has already mentioned, so i'm not sure where you got your information from. Your fatalistic theory is extremely immature in this situation; your attitude implies that you are in no way ready to deal with the consequences of sex, do not seem to understand the theory behind birth control, and to my eyes that means that you are too young to be having sex at all. It's not just about being physically ready for sex, but also being ready to raise a baby independently. I have my doubts here.
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A
female
reader, MommyOfOne +, writes (16 January 2009):
 Wow. Your logic is amazing. It would startle me if these words were coming out of a womans mouth who was my age, in her mid 20's. But, sweetheart... You are young, naive and dumb to the world and just can not properly see consequences for your actions. You very well can prevent a pregnancy.
God. I wish I had a magic wand and could phone your mother. I would beg she not put you on a pill and get you on a more fool proof form of birth control. Like the shot, or better yet, an IUD.
Be careful. Please. You are not ready for a baby.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (16 January 2009):
 For your edification, the effectiveness of several common birth control methods (from the plannedparenthood.org website):
Of every 100 women whose partners use withdrawal, 4 will become pregnant each year if they always do it correctly.
Of every 100 women whose partners use withdrawal, 27 will become pregnant each year if they don't always do it correctly. (Teens are considered to fall into the not always doing it correctly category because they don't always know when they are going to ejaculate.)
If women always use spermicide as directed, 15 out of 100 will become pregnant each year.
If women don't always use spermicide as directed, 29 out of 100 will become pregnant each year.
(Spermicide is generally used with other forms of barrier contraception.)
Each year, 2 out of 100 women whose partners use condoms will become pregnant if they always use condoms correctly.
Each year, 15 out of 100 women whose partners use condoms will become pregnant if they don't always use condoms correctly.
(You can decrease the chance of pregnancy when using condoms by using spermicide and withdrawing before ejaculation.)
If women always use the diaphragm as directed, 6 out of 100 will become pregnant each year.
If women don't always use the diaphragm as directed, 16 out of 100 will become pregnant each year.
(You can improve effectiveness by also using a spermicide, a condom and withdrawing before ejaculation, also making sure the cervix is covered.)
Birth Control Sponge (Today Sponge)
The Sponge at a Glance
A foam sponge inserted into the vagina to prevent pregnancy
Safe and convenient
Easy to use
Costs $9–$15 for a package of three sponges
Is the Sponge for Me?
All of us who need birth control want to find the method that is best for us. And every woman has different needs when choosing a method. Whether you're thinking about using the sponge, you're using the sponge, you're a concerned partner, or you're just someone who's curious about it, you may have many questions.
Here are some of the most common questions we hear women ask about the sponge. We hope the answers help you decide if it is right for you.
Highlights
What Is the Sponge?
How Does the Sponge Work?
How Effective Is the Sponge?
How Safe Is the Sponge?
What Are the Benefits of the Sponge?
What Are the Disadvantages of the Sponge?
How Do I Use the Sponge?
How Do I Get the Sponge? How Much Does the Sponge Cost?
What Is the Sponge?
The sponge is made of plastic foam and contains spermicide. It is soft, round, and about two inches in diameter. It has a nylon loop attached to the bottom for removal. It is inserted deep into the vagina before intercourse.
The Today Sponge is the only brand of contraceptive sponge available in the United States today.
How Does the Sponge Work?
The sponge prevents pregnancy by keeping sperm from joining with an egg. It works in two ways:
The sponge covers the cervix and blocks sperm from entering the uterus.
The sponge also continuously releases a spermicide that keeps sperm from moving.
How Effective Is the Sponge?
Effectiveness is an important and common concern when choosing a birth control method. Like all birth control methods, the contraceptive sponge is more effective when you use it correctly.
The sponge is more effective for women who have never given birth.
If women who have never given birth always use the sponge as directed, 9 out of 100 will become pregnant each year.
If women who have never given birth don't always use the sponge as directed, 16 out of 100 will become pregnant each year.
Women who have previously given birth have a higher risk of pregnancy.
If women who have given birth always use the sponge as directed, 20 out of 100 women will become pregnant each year.
If women who have given birth don't always use the sponge as directed, 32 out of 100 will become pregnant each year.
Adding condom use, reduces pregancy risk further.
The birth control shot is one of the most effective methods of birth control available. It works best when you get the birth control shot regularly, every 12 weeks.
Less than 1 out of 100 women will get pregnant each year if they always use the birth control shot as directed.
About 3 out of 100 women will get pregnant each year if they don't always use the birth control shot as directed.
Birth control pills are very effective. Combination pills work best when taken every day. Progestin-only pills must be taken at the same time every day. That keeps the correct level of hormone in a woman’s body.
Less than 1 out of 100 women will get pregnant each year if they always take the pill each day as directed.
About 8 out of 100 women will get pregnant each year if they don’t always take the pill each day as directed.
The vaginal ring is very effective. It works best when a woman inserts it, keeps it in place for three weeks, takes it out for one week, and then inserts a new ring. That keeps the correct level of hormone in a woman’s body.
Less than 1 out of 100 women will get pregnant each year if they always use NuvaRing as directed.
About 8 out of 100 women will get pregnant each year if they don’t always use NuvaRing as directed.
The birth control patch is very effective. It works best when it is always placed on the skin on time. That keeps the correct level of hormone in a woman’s body.
Less than 1 out of 100 women will get pregnant each year if they always use Ortho Evra as directed.
About 8 out of 100 women will get pregnant each year if they don’t always use Ortho Evra as directed.
I think your mother wants what is best for you. She also probably doesn't want to have a grandchild she'll have to take care of right now. She might like a few years off from hands-on motherhood, a few years where she gets to put her feet up, choose her own schedule and not have to schedule everything around school calendars, car pools, baby feedings and doctor's appointments. If you are expecting her to help you raise a child if you get pregnant at the age of 17, then I think you need to take a look at how selfish you are being.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (16 January 2009):
Does that mean that you don't wear seatbelts? And you don't wear a bicycle helmet? That the brakes on your car are for emergency use only?
That you don't brush your teeth, because if you get a cavity or gingivitis is a matter of happenstance? Either you will get a cavity or you won't? Why waste the money on toothpaste and toothbrushes?
Oh, and your information on the pill is incorrect. It is more effective than the condom in preventing pregnancy. So you need to review your sex education knowledge before you make life-altering decisions based on flawed logic and incorrect facts.
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A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (16 January 2009):
 You're not ready to become a mother, and there's something that you can do to prevent it... and you won't do it.
You have no business putting yourself at risk for pregnancy. Having sex without a condom is nothing more than a game of Russian Roulette (birth control pills do nothing to protect you from STD). Abstinence is the only thing that can guarantee that you won't get pregnant. You may have the physical urge to have sex, but that doesn't mean that you are ready to face the possible consequences. Turn back now, while you still can.
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A
female
reader, megan1111 +, writes (16 January 2009):
I had my first baby at 16. You don't want to go there. Pregnancy changes your entire life not just life for the moment. It also changes relationships. Although I have a MBA, I also have two kids by two different men of which neither are no longer in the picture. If you're going to have sex I suggest you take the pills and insist your lovers use condoms also.
You will probably date a couple of different guys before you truly decide on one. But please listen to this from an experience woman. Sometimes, we get so caught up is what we think is love only to discover it was not what we thought. Sex, tends to divert the focus from what’s really important in a new relationship – “what each person truly feels about the other.”
If I could do it again, I would wait until I was married. Talk to more women, I think the “honeymoon period” starts when you first have decide to have sex with guy because you start a boulder rolling down a hill that’s hard to stop.
Remember, sex changes everything – you want to make sure it changes it for the better. You're right, you are only 17 but if don't plan your sex responsibly, then you're planning to get pregnant so you better start thinking like a 21 year old and how you are going to care for a baby.
Realize you are only 17 and be 17, and hard as it sounds, try listening to the wowan who you think is so stupid because when you get to be 30, you'll wonder how she got so smart all of a sudden.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2009): From the perspective of logic, your argument makes no sense. What happens to us depends on many factors. Some we can control, some we can't. The probability that you will get pregnant definitely depends on your actions.
More generally, I very much recommend abandoning your belief that if something is meant to happen, it will. It is an excuse for failure, and nothing more. I am not saying that there is no such thing as randomness or chaos, I am trying to convey that your actions do matter, and you can make your life better if you try, and think logically.
Your mom is right.
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