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20 years old and can't get up for the girl

Tagged as: Health, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 January 2009) 5 Answers - (Newest, 16 January 2009)
A male United States age 41-50, *his_sucks writes:

Ok, im a 20 year old male that can't get errect while with my girl. Ive tried almost everything, I work out everyday, and do keigel exercises. The exercises have helped the hardness but it doesnt matter because I cant get it up when im actually with her. Another thing is I wake up at 4am for work mon-fri and usually dont go to sleep untill 10pm that night. Could it be my diet, that im tired and dont realize it, masturbation rate(Should I try not masturbating or looking at porn for a while?), confidence factor(btw its pretty shity after all of this), another thing is for a while i did alot of drugs(extacy) and drank heavily could that have played a factor? I dont know what it could be but im tired of this and want a change already!!!

View related questions: confidence, drugs, porn

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2009):

Just a question in your question hope u don’t mind, when ever I had sex on e it was great, and we could go for hours

But an anonymous person just replied to your post saying: “ecstasy causes you to not be able to get an erection. That is a known side effect.” But I was told that ecstasy was 1st used as marriage counseling some time ago, before people started getting addicted, can someone tell me if this is true, sorry for stealing your post, but I don’t think that’s your problem, I really hope it gets better for you just don’t pressure yourself so much to actually having a hard on, then it might come more naturally, I could never have an orgasm until I actually stooped focusing on having an orgasm and just pleasing my man, that worked for me, but then again girls and boys don’t work the same so maybe see your doctor.

Good luck

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A male reader, Kepi United Kingdom +, writes (16 January 2009):

Kepi agony auntI've been thru/going thru a similar situation, the girl I am with is absolutely stunning but I have problems getting erect.. there are a lot of factors involved in this, stress, alchohol, drugs etc.... my advice is go to see a specialist, they won't judge u but will explain possible reasons, even suggest remedies. It is true pron desensitises u, i worked a lapdance club for two years and seeing naked females 7 days a week just removes the fun from seeing the female form. My personal answer was to chat with my doctor, he recommended cialis over viagra... it works, also talked openly with my girlfriend, since we chatted she puts in a bit more effort and now I am responding without medication, our sex life has improved and I am sure that it can work for u. But whatever, check with a doc just to make sure its not a medical condition...better safe than sorry

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2009):

ecstasy causes you to not be able to get an erection. That is a known side effect. But maybe it isnt that at all.

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A female reader, megan1111 United States +, writes (16 January 2009):

I don't want to embarrass you but it sounds like you are a virgin. Talk to your girl and be honest. Make sure she understands she should not expect too much during your first sexual encounter. Seeing there have been problems in the past, she'll understand. Usually, women like the intimacy more than the act.

Men are turned on my sight so have her strip for you and manually stimulate you. Drink no alcohol before sex.

As you relax with her, stimulate her clitoris because the fingers mouth usually do more than the penis. Have her stimulate herself as long as you can handle not making her cum with your penis. Odds are you think you have to perform at a certain level when all you really need to do is get started and cum. It's like riding a bike, once you do you don't forget how.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2009):

It would be advisable to make an appointment with a urologist to get checked out. It could be a medical reason, sometimes it is a mental issue, but not usually, get checked out, pronto!

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