A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:If this is true, then why don't i have a boyfriend? I've been single for going on 16 (yes 16) years, people tell me that I'm pretty and what not and that I can have any guy I want. IF that's true then why am I still single? I'm 34 years old and have really never been in a serious relationship. Times I get soo depressed about it.
View related questions:
depressed Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ali76  +, writes (20 January 2011):
I completely understand I am in the same position. I even tried moving to the other side of the world and other cities to try and change this.
I know people are tying to help with the questions they are asking but someone who wants a boyfriend does not sit at home waiting for him to knock on your door (especially if it has been 16 years). And opportunites to meet people dwindle as you watch friends after friends after friends meet someone settle down and get married (I have been though about 4 groups of friends who have done this).
I have done the soul searching and come out with that I am actually a pretty good catch, I have a good job, I am outgoing and bubbly, well travelled own my own property, good around the house all the rest of it. I am fairly attractive, not a bad body.
I have tried dating websites, singles nights, joining clubs, going out all the rest of it and nothing works. If i do meet someone they are usually very interested, texting and calling all the time talking about when we are going to go out and then nothing. They just stop. Not an explaination that is it not working or I am not what they want or that they have met someone else. Just nothing. I don't think I am too picky although I do have some standards.
I have had one propper boyfriend and that was for two years when I was 18. I understand how you feel and I understand what you are going through, because it is happening to me too.
Everyone tells me they don't understand why I am single and I have asked everyone I know what is wrong with me (because afterall I am the one common denominator so it must be me .... no one's luck is that bad). And they tell me is it not me, there is nothing wrong with me. I have even contacted the men who have just stop talking to me and asked them, but no luck so far. I just wish someone would tell me so that I can fix it. I am begining to loose all hope that it will ever happen for me and it is the one thing I want more than anything.
Maybe we can help eachother as we are going through the same thing and can relate to each other and know where we are coming from.
Al
A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (15 January 2011):
 There could be lots of reasons this could be happening:
1) Are you hanging around places where single men are?
2) Are you approachable?
3) Do you come off as desperate?
4) Are you so pretty that you are intimidating?
5) Are you interesting?
6) Do you have time for a boyfriend?
7) Are you genuinely interested in other people?
8) Do you have too many quirks? (like you live with 10 cats or something?)
9) Are you healthy / reasonable weight? Not a drunk? Have a good job? Are you "together" with your life?
10) Do you try to meet men and to get to know men?
Ask your friends for a brutal assessment. Try to figure out what you do on a traditional Friday night... your sitting at home in front of the computer isn't going to earn you any boyfriends.
I think there's something else going on here and only you can answer it if you are honest with yourself and take stock of what is going on in your life.
Good luck.
...............................
A
male
reader, shawncaff +, writes (15 January 2011):
 I think to help you with this, we need more information.
Have there been any men who you have been interested in?
You say you have not been in a serious relationship; what kind of relationships have you been in? What made them "not serious"?
I know very attractive people who have been single for a long time. Many times they are too picky, or they have psychological issues with intimacy, or they simply are looking in the wrong crowd for who they want.
It's good you are getting frustrated; maybe that will spur you on to make a major change.
Best wishes.
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (14 January 2011):
 Do you flirt?
...............................
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (14 January 2011):
 What have you done to change your status? Have you gone on dates? Have you asked guys out?
If waiting around isn't working, then you're going to have to get proactive in your approach.
...............................
A
female
reader, Saamm +, writes (14 January 2011):
you have to be open to everything that comes to you go out to where ever they invite you even if it to wal-mart don’t let the depression get to you I was told the same thing and that I was pretty and why I didn’t have a bf I found out that I didn’t have a bf back then because I was to quiet and shy and not very social. When I was 18 had my first bf but I was a little more outgoing.
...............................
|
