A
female
age
26-29,
*ougatxxx
writes:If i tell everyone at school i like girls aswell as boys would i be brave or stupid? i cant decide all these questions are in my head and its confusing me i just want to be myself for once i have too pretend to be someone am not and i hate it i have lived with it for 3 years and i have had enough but i cant stop thinking about what could happen like being bullied? i guess the imature people in my year cant handle a person being different which isnt fair. am not into labels :( being bi or gay is seen as un normal in my area but who can say whats number someone help me with some advice i really need it thank you xx
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male
reader, groovymoving  +, writes (16 June 2010):
I agree with what most of the people said. So, to sum it up, if you really feel like coming out, come out to your closest friends but definitely not to everyone you know. Good luck with that!
A
female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo +, writes (15 June 2010):
 I know you got lot answers but i just want to have my say i guess been gay and having these feelings at your age. Dont make the mistake i did and anounce it to everyone in your year, when you do that you are encouraging the immature people to make fun of you because they aint developed mentally enough to deal with it any other way. If you want your close friends or family to know who you are then i wouldnt advice you against telling them just be ready to take any good with the bad too and please dont ever to afraid to admitt who you are because of other peoples immature issues. good luck =]
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2010): There is no reason for you to be but it's likely alot of people your age won't be able to handle it because they're not mature enough. Also it's quite normal to feel like your sexuality could go either way when your younger, so it might be a phase!
Xx
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A
female
reader, hpoco  +, writes (15 June 2010):
 There is no reason to put up signs or announce it to people who don't care, but with your friends/people you trust, why not tell the truth? With other people whom you aren't close to, why do they even need to know? It sounds like you think too much about whether or not to tell. Double check your own thoughts/desires and make sure you aren't craving the drama of conflict by "coming out". Other people's reaction to your sexuality shouldn't matter quite so much, because there is little you can do to control it, and most likely, once people know, they will treat you basically the same. If there are particular people who you think might target you, do what you can to make sure you stay off their radar completely, not just regarding your sexuality but about every area of your life. Bullies deserve no time/attention, and should be totally avoided. Good luck to you!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (15 June 2010):
 Your sexuality is a private matter no matter what stage in life your are. It's nobody's business but your own. If you don't control your privacy I guarantee nobody else will.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2010): No please don't. It is none of their business anyway. It will just give you hassle and hopefully one day boys and girls wont fear coming out of school to ridicule.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2010): I was in your position as well, except I am a lesbian. I told a close friend of mine, and then another, and so forth. It's hard to tell how someone will react, I was very nervous, so what I did to kinda figure out how they would react before I disclosed any information to them, is I would casually bring up someone that is bisexual/lesbian and see how they react to that. (and if you don't know anyone personally you can bring up a bisexual/gay actress or actor.) I would say that most of my friends accepted me for who I was, and it didn't matter who I was attracted to. (you may even find out that one of your friends that is bisexual as well.) If your going to tell everybody including those who are not your friends, you probably will run into people that have a big problem with it. So I wouldn't just yet tell everybody, just your friends, when you get older you will be able to tell everybody. I hope it goes well. Good luck!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2010): There may be a significant difference between people's reactions to female as opposed to male homosexuality. Lesbianism is often celebrated as hot, daring and sexy in popular culture (and rightly so) - while guy-on-guy action is seen as something you're meant to be vaguely ashamed of. A gay teenage male would be very very brave (and probably unwise) to 'come out' at school. Even though I never went out of my way to advertise my sexuality in school, everyone guessed anyway and I got a VERY hard time about it. I can't say I enjoyed being known as 'Faggot' instead of my real name. But I suppose it toughens you up.
I think you'll obviously get better advice from gay girls who've been through all this than any advice I can give you, but my guess is that playing safe and keeping quiet about it is definitely your wisest option. If you do come out, make sure it's to someone you can trust, but 'If i tell everyone at school i like girls aswell as boys would i be brave or stupid?'...DON'T tell everyone. At this stage, the risks outweigh the benefits. When you turn 17 or 18 you can be as gay as you like and people most likely won't be too bothered. But the teenage classroom is a jungle and can be a very cruel place.
Best of luck sweetie
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A
male
reader, escribanus  +, writes (15 June 2010):
 I think it would be stupid. You are too young to label yourself as al lesbian in front of all your classmates. So Keep being happy and explore who you really are, you might be confused and to show that secret migth turns you into an easy prey for some dark predators who are always spoting on teenagers because they are young, inexperienced, and esay to manipulate and confusse. Trust your parents.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (15 June 2010):
 Yes people your age are immature. But if you have good friends around you I think you will be fine. If you don't have any friends however, it would be risky.
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