A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my girlfriwend for almost a year and I love her like no other. We are both divorced with children and I now live with her( I moved in to her house a month ago). We have had our moments and fights about stuff like her most recent past before meeting me (she had two serious relationships after her divorce of 3 years ago); I had only one "serious" relationship before her.I have to admit that I have serious trust issues and they all stem from my mind (making up scenes in my head of her with other guys like her most recent boyfriend). She really has never given me reason to believe she would do anythng like this, other than the fact she is still friends with him, but not as much as they were in the first six months of our relationship. There were other relationships she had since her divorce, but were mostly casual dates, maybe make out sessions, and the occasional sex from some, but nothing committal. I'm ok with that, because I had those as well.The long of it is that yesterday she said she got a facebook message from one of the "make out" guys she still remains in touch with very rarely and he asked her if she and I were still an item and if she was "married" yet. She has no qualms about telling people that I am the one she plans to spend the rest of her life with. I asked her if she replied to which she said no, he just likes to joke around about stuff. Well, I know I shouldn't have, but I happened to see on her phone the last thread of that facebook message which was him saying something like " hee, hee... you're so funny. Don't marry that guy, run away with me." Well, today I asked her if she ever heard back from the dude on facebook and if she ever said that we would get married and she said no, I told you Inever would. Only rarely do I hear from him. I feel like I am being played now and I can't get it out of my head. I know it is insignificant and she has no feelings for him, but if I bring something up like this, she makes me feel like I'm the bad guy for thinking she would do anything to hurt me, yet she flat out lied about this. Any help or analysis of the situation would be helpful.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, ctds001  +, writes (16 June 2010):
Hi, I honestly think you are making a harmless message into a huge thing.
As you said YOUR girlfriend has no issue saying she wants to be with you. The facebook message is just someome being cheeky.
Try to deal with your insecurity ASAP as you will make yourself very unhappy and this will affect your girlfriend.
Good luck
A
female
reader, ctds001 +, writes (16 June 2010):
Hi, I honestly think you are making a harmless message into a huge thing.
As you said YOUR girlfriend has no issue saying she wants to be with you. The facebook message is just someome being cheeky.
Try to deal with your insecurity ASAP as you will make yourself very unhappy and this will affect your girlfriend.
Good luck
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