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male
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anonymous
writes: Me and my girlfriend have been dating about four months and we live about fifty miles apart, but we always see each other when ever possible. I really like her but I don't know if she feels the same way for me. We are always keeping in touch on the days we can't see each other but when ever I see her I just don't know what her body langueage is saying. For example we are usually holding hands and sitting very close whenever we are at her house(which we are at frequently) but at the end of the night we just always end up awkwardly standing on her porch and it always ends with us hugging. Should I be more foward and kiss her when we are close on the couch or when we are outside, because we've only kissed once before and even then it was because she said "Just kiss me." I just can't work up the courage to kiss her because I fear being rejected and losing her because I like her too much to lose her over something so stupid as a kiss but I'm scared that I'm not being foward enough with her and that she is going to dump me because I'm a wuss. Please offer any advice at all. Thank you for your time. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2005): Well This Sounds Like A Tricky Problem... Ive Dated Many Boys Like This And I Always Liked It When They Just Say "Lets Have Sex" Or Something Along Those Lines Becasue Then I Can Say, "No Just Kiss" Lots Of My Friends Say They Like Boys To Do This, And On Forums About This Sort Of Thing I Have Had Very Positive Feedback. I Hope This Helps With Your Problem.
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reader, becky05 +, writes (14 July 2005):
If shes definately your girlfriend then just kiss her!!! If you are just friends, id find out how she feels about you before making a move.
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A
male
reader, Courts +, writes (14 July 2005):
Don't dwell on the issue..."what if". Make a move and don't be shy. You have so much to gain and nothing to lose. Make the first move by saying 'I'd like to kiss you....' and take it from there......
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A
male
reader, namless_lover +, writes (14 July 2005):
Ok, the best thing I can tell you, is the next time you go outside just stare into her eyes for a bit, if she starts to breathe heavy, go rigid, etc. "Go in for the kill" but don't do it to forcefully, let her come some of the way too, gently grab her chin and again gently pull (up I'm assuming) if it works it works if you get rejected and she dumps you because you are a bad kisser, not much of a loss.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2005): Boy, don't live your life as a weasel! Kiss her! Hug her! Take her flowers! Make wild passionate love to her! If you keep on hugging her on the doorstep, you'll wear out the doorstep and find her next-door neighbour has been popping round to supply her sexual needs, while you've been away. Feel the fear and do it anyway.
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A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (14 July 2005):
 She sounds - if this is possible - more shy than you!
The fact that she told you "just kiss me" should be your touchstone, and you should keep that request in mind when you're with her and feeling unsure. She said to kiss her, so she must have wanted you to, right? Did she return the passion when you did kiss? If so, then you did the right thing and it's a fair bet that you can do it again.
Next time you're sitting together holding hands, why don't you just say to her, "I'd like to kiss you"? There's an excellent chance that she'll say "then why don't you?", or something like it and that will help you get past that nervous should-I-or-shouldn't-I moment.
Don't try to read too much into her body language this soon into the relationship. She may be giving mixed signals anyway, since she's feeling as nervous as you are.
And don't worry about being rejected, either. Your girlfriend sounds like she's pretty pleased with you. The only wrong you could really do is to insult her or ignore her, so unless you do that, you should be fine!
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Cristi +, writes (14 July 2005):
Long distance relationships are tough. Every time you meet it is like meeting for the first time. A relationship is like a plant, it needs nourishment to survive. Periodic "feeding" barely keeps it alive, it does not help it flourish. You don't understand her body language because you don't know her. You need to invest quality time with her, find out about her, experience normal activities, wining, dining, movies, walks etc. I am afraid that takes time on a consistent basis. The fact that you keep in touch by phone and meet whenever you can indicates there is some attraction. Don't be afraid to make an advance. You are never going to know how she really feels until you take that step, she may be too shy to initiate, she may be waiting for you to make a start. So take that leap, the worst that can happen is that she rejects you and at least you will then know what direction the relationship is going. Bite the bullet and take that leap into the unknown, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
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