A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i need some advice...i broke up with my bf 6 months ago and after a while, i totaly regreted it... (although i had really good reasons to do it)i have to admit that ever since we broke up, i never really left him alone... i'd text him, and call him... normally, he'd answer, be nice, and he called me on regular bases too.. he told me we'd get back together someday, and that he missed me...so, i told him what i was feeling and how much i loved him... and he said he was doing ok, and that he didn't want to get back together now, but maybe in the future.i got really mad! he was totally leading me on!and since that talk, he doesn't answer the phone or answer my texts. although he was a jerk, i still love him and was wondering, if i ignore him completely, will he miss me? or have i blown all my chances of getting back together with him?
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2011): Youve confused the hell out of him. First considering breaking up with him shows you weren't all that happy (even if he was a jerk), and then actually breaking up and then constantly contacting him.
He needs space. It sounds like he is kind of open to the idea of getting back with you but he does need time. WHat I would personally do is send one last text (or leave a voice message) explaining that it was unfair of you to get mad at him and you are sorry. And then explain that you think its best he has some time to think about things and will let him contact you. Then dont sit by the phone, leave him alone and if he doesnt get in contact then move on.
A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (24 November 2011):
 Alright, Let's see now.
You broke up with him, he didn't initiate the ending. You say you had good reasons for doing so. If he was a jerk, why are you questioning your decision now?
By ending it, and then constantly contacting him, you make it seem that you don't really take seriously your decision to make an end to the relationship. And if he is a jerk, why on earth do you still "love" him??
Look: unless the issues that caused the break up in the first place can be thrashed out and resolved to yours and his satisfaction, you know, don't you, that if you were to get back together, the problems would only rear their ugly heads again, with the result that you'd be together a while before one or the other of you called it quits.
But as things stand, you must have given him the impression by telling him how much you love him and want to get back together even though you initiated the break up, that you didn't really mean it when you broke up with him. He's probably confused by this, BUT has decided that he doesn't want to resume the friendship. He's left you a sop by saying not now but maybe sometime in the future...perhaps he really means that, but you should also consider that he might just be trying to spare your feelings......
Maybe at this point the best thing for you to do in regard to him is.......NOTHING. No phone calls, texts, emails, cards, nothing. Don't go places where you might run into him. Act as if he's dropped off the face of the earth, and get on with your life without him.
Either he will cease to mean so much to you eventually when you put enough emotional/physical distance between you, OR possibly he MAY want to try to get back with you. But don't count on that, and as I said at the beginning, unless you can work out the problems that lead to the break up in the first place, it would not be a good idea to resume things.
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