A
female
age
30-35,
*milycullen42
writes:Dear Cupid,i have been in love with the same guy for over a year now. he is 16 now, and i am 15. about a year ago i went over to his house to hang out with his sister and things between me and him became really close when we text each other day and night every day for about 4 months. i loved him with all my heart. i don't know if he used me to try to have sex with me though, but he would try so hard when i went over to his house to spend the night and i almost even gave in. i don't know if i regret not doing it because maybe if i had, we'd still be together...maybe not. i see him again in 1 month after 8 months of not speaking. i honestly wanted him to be my first. i wanted him more then anything in the world. every single guy iv'e dated never came close to how he made me feel. i love him still and even after getting rid of everything that reminded me of him, i still cry myself to sleep some nights wishing he'd love me back more then anything in the whole world. please help me :( I can't get over him, i feel like i need him in my life.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2010): Charliesdevil73 makes a good point: If you're not together and you didn't sleep with him, that might've been all he wanted. I say he's not worth it if he can't make an effort to be with you. Move on.
I think that's the biggest issue here, though, that you are stuck on this guy. You have to get over him so that you can be happy. Please speak to a trusted adult about this. It might help to speak with your school guidance counselor to figure out some good coping strategies.
Best of luck.
A
female
reader, Silver-star  +, writes (24 September 2010):
Girl if he realy loved you for who and what you are and you bileive in than he would have waited and took it slow with you
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A
female
reader, charliesdevil73 +, writes (24 September 2010):
 First things first, you are still young. You will meet so many more men that will make you feel even better than he does. A good saying to remember "you have to kiss a lot of toads before you find your handsome prince".
Second, if you're not together AFTER you didn't sleep with him chances are that's all he wanted. I know what it's like to be your age and love someone so much it hurts when it's not returned. But, it feels so much better when you find someone who will return the love. You are going to go through many heartbreaks and you are going to break a lot of hearts, but in the end you will find someone who makes you happy and truly deserves your love. You will hurt for a while, I'm not going to lie, but it WILL get better.
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A
male
reader, Viajante  +, writes (24 September 2010):
Relax, girl this will pass, it always does. There are two schools of thought relating to the issue of sex:
1) First says: Just do it get done with it. You'll realize it's not such a big deal and be open to new experiences.
2) Second says: Wait for someone special. This is a very intimate thing that you shouldn't be throwing around.
I say truth lies in the middle. IF you feel ready, do it, if not, don't. Listen to older, more experienced people when they say that this guy wasn't such a big deal. In all sincerity, we've all been there and we just want to help. To get over him you need to let him go and stop clinging to his memories. It will happen, eventually.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2010): Heyya Hun,
We're on opposite side of the boat here but I know where you are coming from. I'm 15 and I have just broken up with by boyfriend (he's 18). As you did, I met him through my best mate, but I had loved him ever since I can remember.
The only advice I can give you is to wait a year. That way, if you do sleep with him, he can't be done for rape - surely if you love him as much as you say you do, you wouldnt want him to go down for something that you were consentual in?
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