A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey, I was just wondering if anyone feels the same way that I do now. My ex and I broke up 8 months ago, he cheated on me. A little later we became friends after that, only friends. I forgave him of his fault but ofcourse we are not back, we just remain to be friends. I figured I would just let it go as I don't want to waste my time being bitter with him. If he loves her, what can I do? I am aware that life is not all about him. I can move on and meet new people. Life must go on for me.So now, I am okay. Except that in some occasions when I remember what happened to us before, I still feel the anger inside me. I can still feel myself crying inside. I can still feel the pain. I want to throw up, i feel sick in the stomach. So why have I allowed him to be friends if I feel it? Ofcourse I wont be friends if I dont believe I forgave him. I am the type of person who wont stay connected to people I dislike. But how come I still have these strong negative feelings hiding in the deepest part of me? Which one is real? The one who forgave or the one who cannot forgive inside me? How do I address this issue with myself?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Honest Answer +, writes (22 January 2010):
 The reason you feel the way you do is that it is easier to say "I forgive you" than it is to "forget and move on." Heres the deal, you have every right to be upset and even good reason to leave this guy. But you chose to stay. I commend you for giving him another chance. But if you want this relationship to work, you have to let the past be the past.I believe you really ment to forgive him. He needs to work on regaining your trust.Good Luck!Jeff
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2010): You probably haven't really forgiven him. It is hard to truly forgive someone, I've been cheated on by someone I was with for 6 yrs. and trust me I thought I could forgive, but it wasn't just a matter of fogiving you need to forget to. Most people when that happens to them they will still think about it, like you, and ponder what they could have done to make it turn out different. It's good you still want to try to be friends, but the biggest thing any relationship is that you can trust each other and you don't trust him, so why not try to work on the forgetting and trusting him before yoiu forgive because it is only through those things that you can truly forgive someone. (in my opinion) hope things work out for you
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (22 January 2010):
The truth is you haven't forgiven him yet. You're still working towards it. You can't just forgive someone. Maybe you feel like you've had no closure? You just have to keep on working through these emotions. Make sure you're meeting people, keeping busy and such. The truth is you may never forgive him, or you will, but only when you've met your Mr Right and it doesn't matter anymore. Just keep taking your time. You have the right to be angry.
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