A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I dont know what to do.At school I have alwaiis been good at maths and now am failing it as i failed my first exam.I have another one coming up in a weeks time and my mum said that if I do not pass it I have to break up with my boyfriend cause she thinks he is a distraction which he isnt because everyone in our class except 3 people failed it and I am passing every other subject. I love him so much and I don't know what to do I don't want to loose him please help! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (31 May 2009):
 I just wanted to add that I agree with Satin. If you are studying hard on maths everyday and failing at GCSE level then you may need a professional tutor. I would add that you need to talk to your mother about this, but also the maths teacher to identify what s/he thinks are your problem-areas. Getting a C grade GCSE maths is not hard as maths exams go! However, if you are really struggling then you may have dyscalculia which is a specific learning difficulty related to maths performance. Maths difficulties are also common in people with dyslexia because of poor short term memory. The spelling errors you have made in your posts here may indicate a mild form of dyslexia (although that is not a diagnosis, just a suggestion!). If you have a specific learning difficulty then it doesn't mean you are stupid (I have dyslexia and it hasn't stopped me getting an education). However, if you are truly struggling in specific areas of the curriculum that cannot be explained by lack of effort then it maybe time to consider asking for a referral to an educational psychologist. This would be through the school or sometimes a GP can do it. This professional can identify if there are any specific learning difficulties explaining your failure in maths. If there are, you can get extra help at school with maths and extra time in exams so it is worth getting checked out.
A
female
reader, pebble +, writes (31 May 2009):
 Maths is just as important as science and English. Those are the three main ones that employers/colleges find essential. If you're finding it difficult then talk to someone, your maths teacher should only too willing to help you with whatever you need. Afterall, the maths results are important to their career too, he or she should be doing whatever they can to make sure you are getting it. I'm sure there are online websites that offer quizzes you can do and chatrooms that you can ask for help with stuff.
So what's more important to you? The boyfriend that you probably won't have for the rest of your life? Or the exam results that WILL affect the rest of your life?
It's your life sweetheart, your future, if you screw it up it won't be anyone elses fault.
I did my GCSEs 4 years ago and got Bs in everything apart from one A in French, I found that teachers made it seem like they were going to be the hardest thing I'd ever done but in reality, I found them p*ss easy - they weren't nearly as hard as they had made out. The difficulty of them had been hyped up so much to make you expect the worst, that when you actually see the paper it's a lot easier than you thought it would be. In my experience anyway.
Study the best you can, properly, in a relaxed, quiet environment and you'll be fine.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2009): hmm so you are bright already, you know what you need to do. is it the content or studying....
i cant' help with the content, but the studying... i put my advice on this reply ...
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-can-i-motivate-myself-to-become-more.
it might help - might not - up to you!
Star.x.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2009): Can your boyfriend help you to study? If he did and you passed, your mother would see him as a positive influence instead of one that is distracting you from your studies....perhaps he would like helping you as well?
Math is a language and each step is built on previous lessons....if you failed this exam, you need to go back to a point that you understood the concepts and equations and then start from there until you catch up. There are no short cuts in math. You must practice for it to stick!
Think of it this way.....you cannot learn to read until you learn your alphabet...so it is with math. You cannot do algebra until you learn division, addition, multiplicationa and subtraction....everything is built on that.
If your boyfriend cannot help you, get a tutor and make this your priority. If your boyfriend truly loves you, he will understand the extra time you are putting into your studies and will be there when you are finished. If not, you just may not see him anymore ... your mother has the right to make decisions for you until you grow an adult brain that is capable of putting priorities in order ..i.e. securing a future before becoming too enmeshed in relationships.
Good luck, let us know when you pass that exam :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2009): Satin is right - if you study...you might pass and if you pass you get the result, your mums respect and the boyfriend... so...
Go Study switch of messenger, my space etc... go and study like a Spartan.
Star.x.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBut i cant do it its to hard i study everydaii 2 hours a daii infact but it doesnt seem to be working and i have alredi got a GCSE in science and english so i have passed them. :(
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2009): I agree with Satin, you should study, I also agree with DrPsych, your mom is just worried about your future. It's not like having a boyfriend means you have no time for studying. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but sometimes it happens. Sometimes there are entire weeks in which I have many tests and exams (I'm in college) and I can't see my boyfriend the entire week, but then after I'm done and I get great results then the reward of being with him without any sort of stress is awesome. So just study hard, there will be time to see him after the test.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2009): Your mom is just worried that your boyfriend is distracting you from school so just show her that your education is still important. Maybe get a study group together or get someone to tutor you. You can also stay after class and ask the teacher for help and ask your mom for help next time you are doing homework. Just show your mom that you still care about school and that you are putting effort into getting a good grade in math. Then she will see that you are trying and won't be so worried about your boyfriend. Even if you don't pass, she probably won't make you break up with him if she sees that you really put effort into studying.
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female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (31 May 2009):
I appreciate this might seem like the end of the world, but it really isn't! Your mother is just taking an interest in your education and your future - her approach may seem harsh but she is saying 'pass or else' because she cares and doesn't want you to end up without a future because of a boyfriend who may not even be around in a few years time. If lots of pupils failed this exam it could indicate that your maths teacher is not very good, or that you and fellow pupils didn't study very hard (because you are all used to passing everything). If a poor teacher is the problem, I suggest you talk to your mother about any problems at school so they can be addressed with the school head of year by a concerned parent (i.e. your mum). The chances are that other parents will be disappointed that their child has failed the same exam, and may have raised concerns with the school.
Maths is one of those subjects that you generally have to pass at GCSE level to stand any chance of a professional future. There is no point getting dramatic about your mothers demands - she is just concerned about you and your future which is all part of responsible parenting.
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female
reader, pebble +, writes (31 May 2009):
So revise hard and pass your exam!
I'm guessing by your age you're doing GCSEs. Maths is an important one, and if you're planning to go to college or sixth form then they'll need a pass at C or above. Most higher education courses ask for maths GSCE. Most employers will frown upon a failed maths GCSE also. It's in everyone's best interest that you study hard and pass.
Good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2009): Honey your mum cant stop you having a bf so dont worry and dont let her boss you around! But a pass in exams should do you do good anyhow x
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female
reader, artistical_bumblebee +, writes (31 May 2009):
 then work for your exam if you were good at it and your bf really isn't a distraction then prove your mum wrong and pass it.
it is plain laziness if you are not bothering to revise and your problem. so get busy and work.
as for your bf get him to help you revise for it failing it will not convince your mum.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2009): This must be really difficult for you. I can see where your mum is coming from, she obviously wants you to do well. But sometimes parents can put too much pressure on their children, without realising how they feel.
Do you think you could talk to your mom about this? Maybe you could just calmly explain to her that you are trying your hardest, but you feel a bit stressed out with it all. Do you have any friends who could back you up, by telling your mum how difficult the exams are? Or maybe even a teacher could just chat to her and reassure her that you are working hard.
As for your boyfriend, has your mum met him? Maybe if she got to know him a little bit, she might like him and be happy for him to be with you. Perhaps you could invite him to your home and do some studying together. I know it might not be the most fun way to spend time with him! But that way, your mum will see that he isn't a distraction from your work. Just some suggestions.
But try to get your mum to understand that you also need some time for yourself, to just relax and have fun. Otherwise the pressure of the exams might get too much, and I'm sure she doesn't want that.
I hope something here helps, and good luck with your exams. x
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A
female
reader, Original shiraz! +, writes (31 May 2009):
Sit down and talk to your mum maturely. If you actually feel your boyfriend is not the issue then say to her, "I know why you're assuming this but I'm actually struggling with maths as it's got a lot harder and I can't get to grips with it." If you feel it is your boyfriend then work something out. Say you'll agree to see him certain times or something, it's madness but it keeps your mum happy and the two of you together.I don't mean to go on but maths is really important. It's one of the ones you really need so if you have a talent for it then don't waste it. Do your best to achieve well. That way you get a good future, a happy mother and a successful love life all in one.I'd also tell your mum the added pressure of her threats will not help in the long run. Just be honest with her. You know the real cause and if you do love him as much as you say then be willing to compromise. We all have to make sacrifices to achieve in some way, just another way of life.
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