A
female
age
26-29,
*kapunkerplunk
writes:Okay. So this will sound pathetic. But I need help. I've liked the same guy for almost three years now. He has liked me a lot of that time too but (because of our own reasons) we've never gotten together. At the moment he has a girlfriend, and he's been in the relationship for a long time. I don't know what the girl is like, I've never met her. But he still asks me to meet up sometimes and all he does when we do is hug me and hug me and hug me. But in June he has exams. And after those he'll be moving out of the country. I probably won't ever see him again. This has been bothering me for a long time but now it's gotten to the point where I feel physically sick to my stomach. I have a fear of vomiting so when this happens, I have panic attacks. They're pretty bad. I don't know what to do. It's killing me. I need to stop these attacks. And moving on is not an option, believe me I've tried. I should of made my move a long long time ago. Now he has a girlfriend and I feel that I can't. I know that if I made a move on him he would go along with it but I won't do that beacuse he has a girlfriend. But I've only got a month left. I'm freaking out. I'll regret this for my whole life if I let it pass. I'm not exaggerating. I may be being dramatic, but believe me I am not exagerating. Can someone please please help?
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2011): He says'i know you love me.' (pretentious isn't he? Who ever said I loved him) and then he tells me 'it's okay because I love you too.'
So he does already know,whether he says it joking or not he has picked up on how you feel, but if you really need to let him know I still say tell him how you feel, whats the alternative?! that you'll always be wondering what if. Just send him a text before he contacts you and let him know, that way you dont have to try to approach the subject whilst in the middle of a convo with him.
But you have to accept that at the moment he has a gf and then he is going away, so nothing is going to happen at this point in time. I assume he will be breaking up with the gf when he has to go?
A
female
reader, skapunkerplunk +, writes (7 May 2011):
skapunkerplunk is verified as being by the original poster of the questionGuys thank you all for your answers. It's good to hear other people talk about it because you're putting sensible wording to the thoughts that are flying through my mind at the moment that I can't grasp. You've been really helpful. I don't know if I'll have the courage to tell him, I really want to but when i'm with him I don't want to kill the fun. And in response to some of the things you've said, he does like me in that way, he tells me 'i know you love me.' (pretentious isn't he? Who ever said I loved him) and then he tells me 'it's okay because I love you too.' the guy is 17 and I will be 16 next month by the way. Just because he says those things it doesn't make it any easier for me to approach the conversation we need to have. Once again thank you all for your help (you have helped) and I'm still looking for any more help I can get.
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female
reader, GG96  +, writes (7 May 2011):
I am in almost the same situation, and i know how you feel. I know it hurts and your probably scared and you probably don't want to mess up his relationship, but that doesn't stop you from liking him. If he's gonna leave soon, you have nothing to lose. Tell him. Write a letter. Send him a text. Whatever you do, just tell him. If he leaves and you don't tell him your gonna always regret it. It'll be that one thing you look back on and say "i wonder if he liked me". Tell him. You have nothing to lose.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2011): There's no harm getting it off your chest and telling him, say something like "i've always really liked you and had feelings for you, but that you know nothing can ever happen because you're is moving away and you've a girlfriend". Even tell him in a message if its too awkward or upsetting, i know its hard but at least you will feel some release, because you're keeping it all bottled up.Then you have to let him go, even if he was staying here, but because he has a girlfriend. Going by your age you're about 14/15 so you are young and i guarantee you will experience this feeling a few times throughout your life, it just gets that tiny bit easier to cope with and you get a bit better at the whole moving on thing.All you can do is express you're feelings, unfortunately the rest is out of your control, and that's life, why stress about things you have no control over?! Trust me there will be plenty more guys. What you need to do now is to spend lots of time with your friends doing fun stuff. These feelings wont go over night but in time they will dampen down. If the panic attacks are still there i would suggest going to your doctor and find out what is causing them.You can and you will move on, we are all capable of it if we put our minds to it.Best of luck.x
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2011): I'm going through the same thing the guy I'm in love with is leaving for college i don't know if he has a girlfriend or if he's still with his ex.but I'm pretty sure he'll break up with his girlfriend if he's leaving unless she's moving with him. but I'm sure you'll see him again he won't be gone forever. and you should also stay in contact with him on facebook and you should also get his number. you can tell him how you feel;; but i know there's always that fear of rejection.but don't move on you should just tell him how you feel;;;best of luck to you.
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reader, natasia  +, writes (7 May 2011):
 You have to resolve this with him one way or the other, for your own sake - so tell him. Telling him doesn't mean you are making him unfaithful- you are just giving him the full facts, and being true and honest to yourself. If you were all married and 35, I would probably give you different advice, but you aren't. You are a fledgling in this world of relationships, and you need to learn from the start to be honest and open, because hiding your feelings is what is giving you this pent up anxiety and panic about him leaving.
Find some time alone with him. Tell him why you have held back (shyness, then his girlfriend). Tell him how you feel about him. Tell him how you feel about him going away.
And you are not being dramatic - you are being a teenage girl. Your life will never be so colourful as it is in your teenage years. You feel everything so keenly, and emotions are overwhelmingly strong. Your family are there around to love and support you on this rollercoaster, because that is what it is. And how you feel about this boy is, I would imagine, way the most important thing in your life at the moment. So be brave and feel ok to tell him. You aren't doing anything wrong. You need to tell him this. Do it.
xx
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