A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Sometimes I talk to someone on Skype (just text never camera or voice), I came across them on Tumblr and we became friends. He is a guy and we mostly talk about random things, never anything sexual. He knows I have a boyfriend and to be honest he's respectful and has not tried to bring up anything that is sexual or dirty (as many a guy tries to do online in a PM chat).....Is this cheating? If I am talking to a guy online? I mean we don't even live in the same country and I still love the guy I am with, but I know if he found out he would probably dump me, even though we don't talk about anything sexual, mostly about memes (I know....boring) or Youtube videos, It is kinda like being on a forum, so is this cheating?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (17 January 2017):
 Its not cheating, but if you are hiding it from your boyfriend and keeping it a secret then it is not healthy in the relationship either.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (17 January 2017):
 No, it's not cheating. But if you know your boyfriend would DUMP YOU if he found out, then you are going behind his back, which is a form of cheating (hiding something). However, if your boyfriend would dump you for having male friends that you talk to online, then I think he sounds extremely jealous and controlling, and not at all like someone you should be with.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2017): You need to be honest with your boyfriend. Let him know that you met a friend online and are chatting. If need be, introduce your boyfriend to this guy. If your boyfriend is cool with it then continue the friendship, but if your boyfriend is not comfortable with the fact that you're talking to another man, then stop talking to him. There's no right or wrong, only what you two deem acceptable or not.
My boyfriend doesn't like me going online to meet men so I don't and he won't chat with other females online either. Its a mutual agreement we have.
So, talk to your boyfriend and get his input on this!
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (17 January 2017):
 Why would your boyfriend dump you for talking to other people? Or having friends?
The fact you keep this person a secret from your boyfriend is indicative of an unhealthy relationship.
Maybe you could start introducing him to the idea of you having an online friend, maybe send him the link to one of the youtube videos, with the comment "look what a friend just showed me, I thought it was funny."
If he asks which friend be honest ... "a guy in France" or where ever he is
LIttle steps and then maybe ask him if he wants to meet him online, introduce them to each other, after thats what we do in real life, introduce our friends to our boyfriends and girlfriends ....
If you boyfriend is not cool with the whole concept find out what he sees the problem as ...
If your boyfriend is open enough to the idea of online friendships if he does have something negative to say about your friend then take that on board, its possible it could be jealousy, but equally possible he has seen something in the other guy that you haven't.
I'm with Honeypie on this, I've got friends I met online pre facebook, in the old days of chatrooms. I've traveled to meet some of them, we know each other as much as our friends in real life know each other .... they are open and honest relationships.
If you are hiding YOUR online relationship from your boyfriend, then yes, even if there is nothing sexual, it is a form of cheating.
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A
male
reader, Garbo  +, writes (16 January 2017):
 In many guy's mind, the fact that the other dude knows that you have a BF is meaningless because his knowledge of a BF hasn't precluded many men from snatching their GF. You can call it a completion thing, but it's just how lot of men are: they don't want any other guy sniffing on his GF, sexual or not. So your man may not consider it cheating but still demand that you stop contact with that guy. Is that why you are keeping this contact secret from your BF?
I personally don't find your actions as cheating even though I'm little curious about the cause of the amount of attention you are giving and receiving from this guy. Are you lacking attention from your BF?
In general, transparency as to what we do is always the best policy. People always quip that they have nothing to hide yet they do. Even though you are physically apart, it's still possible to develop an emotional affair... not that you are nor that you intend to. In your case, I would tell this to your BF, in some tactical and benign way, and both of you decide what this is all about.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (16 January 2017):
 Not sure whether the problem here is that you chat to this guy or that your boyfriend is so possessive that he would dump you because you chat to another male . . .
Why would your boyfriend dump you for having a male friend? Why do you keep it secret from him?
If these conversations are taking away energy from your relationship, then it is not a good thing.
As the song goes, there are more questions than answers . . .
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (16 January 2017):
 If it's something you haven't told your BF or wouldn't DO in front of him - then yeah I think it's a "kind" of cheating. Even if it's not sexual, it's strictly platonic - if it's OH SO innocent why doesn't' your BF know?
I play online MMO's and talk to a bunch of strangers (well I have known many of them for over 10 years and met a few in person) but I don't hide it from my husband, I always tell him what's up with this or that person. He has a couple of players on Facebook (females) and he tells me stuff and shows pictures (I don't do Facebook) - other times they TELL him, hey show this to your wife! like recipes, travel pics... So we INCLUDE each other in these conversations.
So I think, if you can't tell your BF (because he would dump you... why would he do that?) then would YOU be OK with him chatting with other girls and not mention it to you?
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