A
female
age
41-50,
*otebook123
writes:I went out on a blind date 10 days ago. It went pretty well and I think we both had a good time. I've talked to him online almost every day since then. He also asked me to watch a movie with him one night, but I was busy. I had a five night business trip that I just got back from today. About three days after our date he asked me when we were going to get together again, but we didn't make a date. The night before I left for the trip he said that he hoped to see me when i get back and while i was away he asked me if i wanted to go to dinner with him when i got back. Well, I got back today and i talked to him online for over an hour, but he didn't mention getting together. I don't understand why's brought up going out several times, but has never really asked for a specific day. If he's not into me why is he talking to me and bringing up going out in the first place. What's going on?!?! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Accountable  +, writes (3 February 2010):
 It seems like, through no fault of your own, you havent been able to make any of the meetings he has set up. However he is still trying to arrange meetings, but more vaguely - this doesnt mean he's not into you, I imagine it just means he's sick of being turned down for specific dates and on a level feels rejected. Why dont you make the move? Suggest a date and a place. He is probably completely unsure of whether you actually want to see him, as you have been avoidant ("yes" isnt really an adequate answer - my guess is he was hoping you would be a bit more enthusiastic, and tell him when you actually were free). I realise you didnt intend to blow him off, but this is how he may have perceived it.The guy doesnt always have to be the one to arrange the specifics - be more forward, if you are interested in him.
A
female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (3 February 2010):
 I agree with Keyshantasy...he may not be that interested anymore. He seems to want to go out but keeps saying maybe and won't give you a definite time. I think the ship may have sailed on this one. On the other hand, he might have other issues going on at this time so who knows.
One thing though...you asked about dinner and said yes to takeout...it's his turn now. Don't make any more moves.
And you ask why he's doing this if he's blowing you off? He may have been interested at the start and then changed his mind. He doesn't want to be rude so he keeps talking...or perhaps the knowledge that a girl is interested in him makes him feel good about himself. People do all sorts of things which are unexplainable.
The general rule is if he's genuinely interested, he will make the effort to ask you out and plan the date. Don't waste too much energy on him. If he starts talking about going out again but doesn't give you a date I wouldn't continue the talk as he's obvioulsy not doing it for the right reasons. Hope this works out for you.
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A
female
reader, Keyshantasy  +, writes (2 February 2010):
 I see I am the only one trying to tell you THAT HE MAY NOT BE INTO YOU(ANYMORE)....If he is I am like so happy for you, but my instincts tell me that he is avoiding-leading and that leads me to believe that the gig is up. HELLO-your place, me, you and a movie is TOTALLY FREE! Did'nt you guys already go out and do the date thing? Tell you what- you send him an instant message or e-mail or whatever is your source of contact and you ask him to your place-movie(even if you've seen it already),microwave popcorn, hell throw in a couple of wine coolers, this is totally ON YOU! You guys have been talking for awhile so there should'nt be a need to impress, you guys already went on your blind date! Okay if that does'nt work then I stand by my first word of advice-I want to be optimistic so I hope this works!;~}
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female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (2 February 2010):
Chill out! He's broke, give him a break. Your closed ended response of "yes" doesn't require a reply. For now leave it alone, he'll probably talk to you again when he gets his paycheck and wants to go out (which may not be this weekend). He knows you're still interested in going out, so it's up to him to ask you. You're looking way too much into this and freaking out when you met him one time 2-weeks ago.
If HE'S calling you and making contact he's interested. If he isn't, then he isn't interested, simple. As far as how interested he is, we don't know that, only he does. Try dating someone else so you're not so focused on this guy and maybe you'll meet someone that you like more. No offense, but it's sounding like you're starting to cling to this guy that you don't really even know that well and you've met him only one time.
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female
reader, notebook123 +, writes (2 February 2010):
notebook123 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo I talked to him this morning over IM. I asked him when we were gonna do dinner like we had talked about and his response was "soon. after my next paycheck. the beginning of this month killed me". Then he said "maybe we can do takeout later this week". I wrote back "yes" and he never wrote back! It seems like he's blowing me off or isn't interested, but then why does he call me, keep IMing me, txting me, etc?!?
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female
reader, Lexie88 +, writes (1 February 2010):
He's into you...he's asked you out several times already. Once you were busy and the other times he didn't want to be rejected so all he did was ask when you'd get together in hopes you'd say 'I'm free Fri night at 7pm.'
Since he keeps talking to you you should assume he's somewhat interested. He'd ignore you otherwise.
If you want to go out with him again, you call him, email or whatever you do, and you say...I've been busy lately but would love to get together. I'm free on Sat/Sun/whatever...want to catch up?"
Easily done. If he wants to go out you'll have yourself a date.
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female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (1 February 2010):
First off, I don't know why you came to the conclusion that he's not into you. If he wasn't into you then he wouldn't ask to see you and ask what you're doing. Of course he didn't bring it up this last time because you've been busy every other time he's asked, so he probably just assumes that when he asks you this third time you'll be busy again. He probably didn't set a time or day previously because you probably just say, "I can't on such and such day." Rather you should say, "I can't on such and such day but how about this day instead?" So really it's all in your head and nothing is going on with him, only with you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2010): he probsbly wants yooou to make the first move. we women have to read men. they are much more complex than us.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2010): He wants to go out with you but he feels like he is setting up all the days. He feels like he is doing all the work and you are a busy woman so he doesnt want to feel like a fool again and get turned down. this isnt too hard. just ask him instead.
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female
reader, dorothy2342 +, writes (1 February 2010):
 Some guys need a little push, don't even let him start that foolishness. When a guy ask about a date, don't let him leave, hangup, or log off untill the day and time is set. If he says lets go out and eat when you get back, say great Friday night is good for me, what time would you like to pick me up and that way he has to go ahead and set the date. You don't have to sit and wait, next time he contacts you, say I'm still waiting on that dinner. How does next weekend sound to you, if he says yea or good, then say what time do you want to pick me up and how should I dress for dinner. Don't leave it all up to the guy, if we did we would all still be waiting. Good Luck Sista
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female
reader, Keyshantasy +, writes (1 February 2010):
Okay let's see. This is almost like dejavu from HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU(aka Drew Barrymore). Question:Is it only online that you actually talk to him? Brutally Honest-It seems like you took a little too long for him to reach his final destination. Men like this want you to be at thier every whim-all attention on them. You have a job that puts him second-seems like he lost interest. If you talk to him for over an hour and you did't finalize a date for a date, then he does'nt want to commit he does'nt want anything set in stone so he isn't obligated, which means to me he is probably online setting up other 1st dates. I would just call it as I see it-He's a bridge-get over it! Trust me there are plenty of fish under the bridge! Hope this helps;~}
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