A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Please help,It's driving me mad i still really like my ex b/f even though we split in December with him finishing it saying he did not feel the same about me as i did for him. IM NOT SURE IF IT WAS BECAUSE HE WAS MY FIRST EVER B/F OR WHAT but im finding it hard to get over him,he did say we should become mates instead but ive not seen or heard from him since,DID HE JUST SAY IT FOR THE FUN OF IT AND IS IT WHAT ALL GUYS SAY?Please please im not sure what to do any tips on how to get him back without trying to make it so hard,
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2008): I agree with the others, it sounds like it is time to move on. I think it is good that he was honest with you and said he didn't feel the same way about you. A lot of people tend to lead people on or they are too scared of saying what they really feel, but with him at least you can have that closure rather than keep second guessing him.
Also I think when people in your situation say about being friends, I think it is more meaning that there are no hard feelings between you both, rather than actually being friends.
I think the best thing you should try and do is to get out and about with your friends or family, and try and take your mind off it. What you are feeling is perfectly natural and normal, it has nothing to do with being your first boyfriend, everyone both guys and girls feel this way when they break up with someone that they cared about or loved. But usually in these situation one have to make an effort to get over it and when they do it does make it easier. Then one day in the future, when you feel ready, you will meet someone that does feel the same way as you do for them and it will feel a million times better than this relationship did. Take care and all the best with whatever you decide to do ok!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2008): Just put it all behind you and move on, you are just going through this doldrum stage that happens everytime there is a split. We all say that we should keep in touch, but what we say at the time and what we actually mean are often two different things. You deserve to meet someone lovely and have a great time, so stop hankering after him and the past and move forward. Forget about him and any contact.take carexx
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A
female
reader, kellyO +, writes (11 February 2008):
 Hi,I know it is difficult but try to move on. there are lots of fishes out there. You are still very young, u shouldnt waste your time with a guy who apparently has made it clear he doesnt have feelings. I know it is hard since he is your first boyfriend, but take it as experience. look for someone who will share the same feelings for you as you for him.Lots of hugskelly
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (11 February 2008):
 HiIt might of been his breaking away gently, without hurting your feelings, which is quite considerate of him. Sounds like he is a feeling kinda guy. But if he said he doesnt feel as strong as you do, then i doubt he will be coming back. No matter what you do.Just what it sounds like from this side, hard to tell of course, but i would think its safe to say that if he hasnt contacted in 2 months hes made his mind up.First loves are always hard, if you werent the one doing the ending.Stay strong.If he did say about staying mates, there is another way to look at it, mates is a 2 way thing. Nothing to stop you txting him and asking if hes ok in a mate kinda way. But obviously only if you can handle the mates side of it. If your feelings are that strong still, it might be more painful. Have a think.Good luck.C xxxxx
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