A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi,is there still any hope in pursuing a relationship when a guy says he dun love u and jz want to be friends? we act like a couple and does everything a couple does including sex. i do feel smtg towards him and it hurts to noe that he feels ntg after bein togehter for so long..what should i do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2008): "It's just a title isn't it?" Sorry babes, but a proper boyfriend/girlfriend relationship is more than just words. A boyfriend tells his girlfriend how much he loves her, he also puts in commitment and promises to be faithfull as long he is with her. He also loves to show her off in public, and finds pride in telling people that she's attached to him now.
A friend you sleep with and share comfort is very different. Be carefull not to fall in love with them, as it hurts when they can't love you back and they finally leave for a woman who they can love with all their heart.
Don't lie to yourself, your relationship is exactly what it is. Sex and freindship and no deeper feelings or meanings.
A
female
reader, bemused  +, writes (21 July 2008):
 Hi sweetie
This is not a great situation to be in. I think sometimes that guys, especially younger guys fail to understand that for a girl, often our hearts and sex drives work together. This guy may like you, think you are a terrific person but he probably fails to understand that your investment in this arrangement will be greater and the odds are you WILL be hurt and he will be confused as to why you are hurt.
It all comes down to self respect....what do you deserve?
This does not sound good to me and from your post you do not sound happy or sure. If you were, you would not have a post on this website.
I would back away from this guy if I were you. You should not feel obligated to have sex either if you do not feel that there are other things to sustain the relationship. If is ok to be single. Good luck hunxxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionbut it was a mutual agreement in the beginning that it was just casual sex and both of us do not want any messy relationship, i don't think my feelings for him are that strong to be called love either, the thing that bugs me is that how could he just wanna stay as normal friends after so many months together. I do enjoy his company and he treats me good. One thing i'm sure about is that he's not seeing other girls. We see each other frequently every week and sex is not always on his mind, there are times where we don't have sex but just cuddle and sleep. He never asks for sex, it's always at the heat of the moment and it's mutual agreement, he never force me to do anything. Is a relationship that important? it's just a title isn't it? just to be able to refer to each other as bf and gf.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2008): First it would help greatly if you tried not to use net speak, it's very difficult for old folks like me to understand.
This guy has told you how he feels. He dosen't love you, he dosen't want you to be his girlfriend, he just wants to be friends. If your stupid enough to have sex with him knowing all this, then of course you will get hurt. Your not a couple, your just two good friends that like to have sex together. He could find a girlfriend tomorrow, he could sleep with anyone he wants too and there is nothing you can do.
Please have more respect for yourself, protect your heart, and don't let this guy hurt you anymore. There are many guys out there who will love you and treat you with the respect that you deserve. Please give up this guy and move on to someone else. Here, link might explain the situation. Your not boyfriend and girlfriend, he's just having sex with you. Please girlfriend, have more respect for yourself, this guy dosen't love you at all.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/difference-between-a-fuck-buddy-and-a-friend.html
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A
male
reader, TheVirg  +, writes (21 July 2008):
I hate to be a bit insensitive... but he just told you he dosent love you and wants to be friends but still wants to have sex? uuuh... wtf? leave him. find someone better.
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