A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi, i have a question i wondered if some girls or even guys could give me a little advice as ive never been through this before and would really like some advice...ive been with my bf for a while he is amazing i really do love him and i feel this relationship is different from my priors all though their is distance between us( ive never been in a long distance relationship before)..everything was great between us. but now i feel my insecurities maybe getting the better of me. i know he is with me because he loves me and if he wanted someone else he would be gone. i do think maybe because im not near where he lives i feel jealous of other people a little because they can see him when they like and i cant.me and him spend as much time as we can together when were not working talking txting even when we are working sometimes. in theory i shouldnt have a problem but their seems to be something in the way of me enjoying this when i should be.i have no reason to believe he is cheating on me and if he did he wouldnt get a second chance, as they say a broken heart can always be mended, ide rather not have it broken again but it happens.is their anything i could do to make these feelings go away or at least keep them in check as i dont want them ruining our relationship. any advice would be great thanks in advance W A xxxx
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, hannah76 +, writes (21 July 2008):
 Hi,
The poster guillaume may have a point about past hurts. I remember coming out of a divorce and met a guy afterwards. I was punching myself black and blue that i found a guy like him and then spoilt everything! All down to not feeling I was worthy enough. It still upsets me that i lost him. Hannah x
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2008): I'm in the same situation as you and in my case phoning / texting is also a bit of a problem because we live in different countries (costs are immense).
If you trust your partner do not feel insecure. This feeling arises from the lack of personal contact and as long as the distance situation exists it will be there. If you find this unbearable then you should not be in a long distance relationship and try to move so as to be with your partner.
What I do to cope with it is: 1) keep as busy as I can (work, gym, etc) 2) See my partner whenever I can (travel to her country) 3) I never send millions of emails / texts / phone as the other person feels s/he is being checked upon.
Hope this helps.
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A
male
reader, TheVirg  +, writes (21 July 2008):
Unless you can know he is not cheating and move in with him, move near him, or get him to get closer to you, the relationship is over. This is the one place though where you can break up and still be friends, but there will always be the temptaion in the future to go back to him if you find another man. Let him know you care about him but there isn't any way it will work.
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