A
female
age
41-50,
*ardia
writes:My boyfriend is on probation. He doesn't know I have a deadline in mind for him to really show me that he loves me. We HAVE talked, numerous times and I am always in control of myself and rational and non-accusing. He has had a "meh" attitude in the past and I can't waste my time with someone who feels that way about me when I am so passionate about them. Here's the current situation:He doesn't want to come to my house after Thanksgiving dinner w/his family because that's his nap-time. So I said he should come over tonight (Wednesday) after work (8:30) and stay over and have breakfast w/us tomorrow and then go to his family. He half-heartedly said, "Possibly, it depends on how I'm feeling after work." This has been his M.O. during the year we've been together. My investment in this relationship is well-reflected in yesterday's actions: I got up at 6:30, worked 8 hours, drove an hour for a 2 hour CEU class, drove the hour BACK to him to help him find his wallet that he carelessly lost (that contained a $500 check entrusted to him by his mother), I took him to Walmart and then to the grocery store. Didn't go to bed til after 1:00am. I thought love was about sacrifice. If he can't do SOMETHING for me on a holiday(and also with a good attitude), what does that say about how he really feels about me? I must not be worth that much to him, despite his handful of weak "But I DO love you"'s. Am I a fool to still be in this relationship? I'm afraid I might be... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (24 November 2011):
 You're with someone who is set in his way of life AND selfish. To top it off, you're doing too much work in the relationship and presumably never demanded a certain type of treatment. Honestly, you should just leave. People don't become caring and considerate all of a sudden, nor do they keep it up when confronted or given deadlines. Maybe he would be better for a few weeks, but he'd eventually return to his real self after the grace period. Don't waste any more time and find someone more generous in heart and compassionate.
A
female
reader, bardia +, writes (23 November 2011):
bardia is verified as being by the original poster of the question Guess I should've phrased the first sentence differently. He's not a convict. I'VE put my boyfriend "on probation", giving him another tentative chance to prove himself.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2011): Hells yes. You are doing all the heavy lifting, hard work and he doesn't have to do snot. So to him, he gets major benefits for minimal effort. Wow you sure picked a winner!How about you face the facts- you chose him because you kinda like the punishment of being in charge, slaving away, and then can complain and be victim mode.You think giving him your all will win his love and affection? A happy man is one that views his woman as his equal, his compliment and NOT some woman that goes out of her way to baby him and reward him for being lazy but then anger at him because he didn't ask or tell you to be that way, you CHOOSE to be that way.DUMP HIM and maybe next time, pick a more suited, equal partner. Up your self esteem and self worth and say you deserve a BETTER MATE.
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