A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:If a husband who was virgin before marriage finds out his wife had multiple sexual partners and hook ups before marriage and lied about it, then how should the husband deal with it? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (17 July 2015):
 While it's understandable to feel hurt and betrayed, once the cloud of anger wears off, think of it as something that happened in the past. Most people wouldn't start off a new relationship - and definitely not something that has the potential of turning into marriage - by taking about their past, hook-ups, and sexual partners. What's the need anyway if it just doesn't help the present?
What matters is that your partner is loving and faithful to you now. Look, everyone has a past. Yes, you were a virgin but your wife wasn't. You don't know the circumstances that she was under when she had sex and made those choices. Don't shame her for them...it was her life. Haven't you ever done anything with a girl before marriage that you've hidden from your wife?
A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (17 July 2015):
There is nothing to deal with. The past is the past. If she is having multiple partners now...then you have a problem.
Things could have been the other way around just as easy.
If she is loyal to you and you alone...what is the problem?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (17 July 2015):
 Well, he has a few options.
1. talk to her and ask her why she lied. IF it was out of fear of rejection ( that you wouldn't want to BE with her if she wasn't a virgin) it might be understandable in some culture.
2. Accept it and let it go. If she has been faithful SINCE you got together and married, so won't stray now.
3. Don't accept it and decide what you want to do next.
Now I have to ask, did SHE tell you about her past or did someone else tell you?
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A
male
reader, IanHenryCooper  +, writes (17 July 2015):
 Indian culture is, I suspect, a little different from ours in the UK, but do you feel cheated? Presumably she is faithful to you now? WE would accept that what went before is irrelevant to our current relationships and not look back into the past.
What is it that upsets you - the fact that she lied? Are you surprised that she did, given my perception of your cultural attitudes? Have you never concealed anything from her that happened in YOUR past, not necessarily sexual as you say you are a virgin, but still something that you might be ashamed of?
How did you discover this previous sexual history of hers?
I suggest that if you love each other you simply close the door on this and forget it....
Harry.
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