A
male
age
41-50,
*aul.D
writes:Hi everybody. I'd be grateful for some advice on my problem.I am a 28 year old virgin. I have never had sex in my lifetime. I feel like I am getting old and that I am missing-out on things like girlfriends and sexual experience in general.I do'nt know why I have never been sucessful with the opposite sex- I am not ugly, and in fact, some women have pursued me. However, I do not know how to keep up an interesting conversation with an attractive girl- I am all tense and nervous. First impressions count, and the girls usually think I am boring. Needless to say, I do not see or hear from them any more.I am a mature student, at University. Most of the opposite sex are younger than me, aged from 19-23 on average. Am I too old to date a younger girl at my University- someone aged 20-23, for example? I would'nt consider dating anyone younger than 20.Given that I am 28 and will be 29 in July, am I too old to go out on the town (nightclubs, bars)?I do not go out much- my introverted, nervous disposition does'nt help much. I am socially akward, but I am not a geek or nerd. I do not even look like the stereotypical bespectacled geek.I'd really appreciate some advice on how I can improve my social life, and get an attractive girlfriend before it is too late- when I am too old!
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male
reader, Paul.D +, writes (27 February 2008):
Paul.D is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe problem is that I am 28 years old, a mature student at University, and the female students are younger than me, aged 19-23. Am I too old to date a younger female student aged 20-23? Is it morally wrong? The age gap (say I found a girlfriend aged 20) would be absolutely enormous- almost morally questionable!I am 28, certainly not a young man anymore, and am approaching middle-age. So, am I too old (in terms of maturity) to date a girl (fellow student for example) in her early 20's? And how many younger women like older men- none have shown an interest in me!
A
female
reader, Aylarsh  +, writes (26 February 2008):
 Do what makes you happy and just be confident with yourself. Emit that you will get a girl today and even if it doesn't happen just shrug it off. You have been persuaded but if all fails just talk about Tv,Music,etc.
Good luck love message me if you need to.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2008): Bless you, I'm 17 but you seem like such a nice man. I think that if you where to date someone 20+ there is no problem at all with that, alot of couples have big-ish age differences.
And for the nightclubs, your never too old really. I know alot of 40 year olds who still go out, it's friends parents but you should do what makes you happy.
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A
female
reader, korculan queen  +, writes (23 February 2008):
Oh honey most girls would only dream of a 28 year old virgin. I can say I have never met one in my life but really attractive women aren't that hard to impress. Have you thought about internet dating? To be comfortable around women try going out to a coffee shop and just sitting there on your own observing women. No not perving till you get slapped but simply being comfortable in their presence.The next thing is make it your daily hobby to SMILE at a woman as you walk past her. Look her in the eye warmly and smile. She may smile back at you and if so you will feel the positive effect of your friendly gesture as an instant boost to your self esteem and you just might make her day too. When you get more confident say hello to a woman as she walks past. Start off small and build your confidence levels because I see that your problem is mainly how you think other women will perceive you. The circle of influence has an inner circle and an outer circle. The inner circle is how you think and feel and how you respond to your feelings. The outer circle is how others think feel and respond to you. You can't change how others think but you can change how you think feel and respond. Work on your inner circle. There is nothing wrong with you except you put yourself down and do not give yourself enough credit for being you. Being yourself is the best quality to have. I am one of those people that chose not to live my life by how others live but to live my life how I want. I do not let others judgement of me dictate how I am to live my life. You are not too old for nightclubs. However I have never meant a long term relationship at a nightclub. I am 35 and I love going to clubs not to pick up but to dance the night away as I am a bellydancer and currently dating a man I met off the internet after happily divorcing my abusive ex husband a year ago. I chose to be happy and strive to be happy. Make a list of all the things which make you happy and do them at at least one a week. For me I made a simple thing like setting my alarm for the sunrise and sitting outside with my coffee and just marvelling at the beautiful colours in the sky. Treat yourself. Go on a holiday. Dare to dream.I still have a few things on my list. One is to hot air balloon over the pyramids, canopy surfing at the Daintree etc. Even if you can't do your dream immediately just to spend a few minutes a day when you feel a bit low makes a world of difference. Good luck mate.
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A
female
reader, jace_mr.muffles  +, writes (23 February 2008):
k first of all if, a girl/lady (LOL whatever you want to call them/suitable for them)started to make convo just be yourself just pretend its a childhood girl you grew up with or something i mean all guys act idiotic not just you LOL in front of ladies they like second dont say bid words that u think they cant understand find/spent time with them and find out things about her maybe she's like you who knows all relationships start out as friendships so you have to be a friend if you want a friend and eventually she'll fall for you. ;P good luck
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A
female
reader, Ankoku +, writes (23 February 2008):
You're not to old to go to the clubs, the only way they would know you're to old is if you let yourself feel that way. that's the first thing you need to work on the most confidence. Women like to see a man who knows that he's awesome and and give them a lot. Here's a first tip on talking to a girl. Look for the girl, don't make it obverses though, I say you should wear glasses looking at girls. that way they can't see you looking at them. Then you find the one you want and pin point something about her that you like. Her clothes, her hair, and things like that. Once you pick that ting about her you walk towards her, looking like you're walking past her, not even turning your head to her until you get close and 'spot' the item. Then you look at her and you break into the conversation. Like, "Excuse me but that is an amazing color on you. It brings out your eyes and shows off your pretty legs." then she'll feel flattered, and then if she doesn't strick up a conversation with is then you ask where she got it from. Then if everything goes according to plan she'll start talking, then you need to start using your thinking skills to get her off of that topic and onto another. Kind of like if she said she bought it at Hollister then you start talking about if you bought anything from there, if anything happened to one near you, just things like that. try and change the topics often but not all the time. It gives her many things to talk about and keeps her interested. But if she's with her friend you never ignore the friends. get them in the conversation as well because if the friends don't like you then you're screwed. Friends are really close to girls and they take their advice a lot. Now after about 40ish minutes of talking then ask her for her number. If she doesn't give it to you excuse yourself, she's not interested. if she dose give it to you then you made it past the hardest step. Now all you need to do is go home and wait a day or two after so you don't seem despirete and then ask her to go on a small date. Just like out to a nice restaurant or a coffee place, but nothing fancy. That's not till later. Oh and one thing I forgot, eye contact between the both of you mean that you are liking on each other, and normally if she touches her hair and moves her legs and sways side to side a bit she's interested. Not all the time of course but a lot of the times that's right.
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